Unwanted Heat

Kenzie

We’re at yet another business dinner, this time though we’re a few hours away from the apartment so we’re spending the night and driving back in the morning. I’m trying to focus on the conversations around me, but unlike most dinners, this one really is all business. I usually don’t check my phone when we’re out, but trying to starve off the boredom I decide to text Ginny to see how things are going at the bakery. I’m surprised to find I have a number of unread messages on it, no one usually texts me except for Nicholas.

Have you found out your husband’s secrets?

You’re never going to be good enough for him.

You will never be able to meet his needs.

He’s hiding things from you, from everyone… things he wants no one to know.

You should ask him why everyone runs from him.

You’re not like the others.

Ask him what he’s hiding.

Ask him about The Blue Moon.

He’s never taken you there, has he? And he won’t… because you’re not good enough for him.

I put the phone back into my purse, not wanting to see the text messages from the blocked number any longer. I try to focus on the conversations going on around me, but I can’t stop thinking about the text messages. Whoever is sending them seems to know Nicholas, at least on some level and especially more than some reporter might. After the initial meeting before we signed the contract with Bridget, I had researched him online eager to know what type of image he needed to change with the press. There were many articles written insinuating that he was hiding something, which was the reason he was pictured with so many different women. At that time, I hadn’t given it much thought, assuming it was just the press trying to stir things up. I like to think that I know him fairly well, especially after living with him for so long, but these text messages have me questioning everything I think I know.

What is the Blue Moon that the sender is referring to? Why are they implying that I’m not good enough to go there? Or good enough in general? What could someone who knows Nicholas possibly know about me?

“Everything okay?” Nicholas whispers during a lull in the conversation.

“Fine,” I lie.

“Gentleman, thank you for your time today and for sharing your evening with me,” he says after giving me a look, which tells me he knows I’m lying. “Each of you have played a fundamental part in the success over the last several months-success that would not be possible without your hard work, long hours and dedication. I look forward to coming back in the near future to learn the status of the items we identified in our meetings this afternoon. Thank you.”

He takes my hand, leading me out of the restaurant to where Carter is waiting for us in the lobby of the hotel. He wraps his arm around my waist, and I lean against him as we wait for the elevator to arrive.

“Kenzie, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” he asks as soon as the elevator door closes.

“Its fine,” I look from Nicholas to Carter, trying to convey that I don’t want to discuss it right now.

“Something is wrong. Your demeanor changed at dinner.”

“Can we discuss this later?”

“Fine.”

I can tell he isn’t happy, but I am not going to have this conversation in front of Carter or in the middle of an elevator when anyone could walk in. Plus, I still don’t even know what to say. I can’t stop the last text that I saw from repeating over and over again in my head: you’re not good enough for him. How could a complete stranger pick up on my biggest fear? I’ve known from the moment that I met Nicholas on the sidewalk in the rain storm that we were from different worlds. What could he possibly be hiding? We’ve been living together for more than a month now. What could he possibly be hiding that I don’t know about? Does it have to do with the Blue Moon… whatever that is?

“Okay, Kenzie… we’re alone now. What’s going on? Did something happen while we were at dinner? What didn’t you want to discuss in front of Carter?” He fires off the questions before our hotel room door is even completely closed.

“What is The Blue Moon?” It seems better to try to be more specific rather than just asking what he’s hiding.

“Wh… what?” He stutters and his face goes completely pale. My stomach drops at the sight which only confirms what the text message said: Nicholas is hiding something from me.

“What is The Blue Moon?”

“What… how did you hear about that?”

“When I glanced at my phone earlier, I received a number of text messages from a blocked number. They implied you were hiding something and told me to ask you about The Blue Moon. What is it?”

“It’s nothing,” he pulls his phone from his pocket and immediately starts typing away. “I need to get a hold of Carter and Brian to find out who is sending you these text messages. They should be able to trace the number the texts were sent from-”

“Stop,” I interrupt him. “Don’t go into CEO mode with me now.

What is going on? Why are you so frazzled at the mention of The Blue

Moon?”

“I’m not-”

“You are.”

“It’s nothing.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“It’s nothing, just drop it.”

“So the person who sent the text is right, you are hiding something from me.”

“It’s not important, drop it.”

“Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“Because…”

“Because why?”

“Because… I don’t want to lose what we have over this.”

“So you get to know my secrets, my past, but I don’t get to know yours?”

“Not about this, no.”

“Okay.”

I shake my head and walk toward the spare bedroom in the suite; we’ve only been here for two nights and until now the room hasn’t been used. I’m fuming… I’m pissed that he doesn’t trust me enough to tell me about this despite everything I’ve shared with him. After everything… how can he not trust me?

“Where are you going?”

“To bed.”

“Kenzie-”

“Don’t,” my hand is on the door of the spare bedroom, but I don’t turn around to look at him. I can’t let him see the tears that are threatening to fall.

“I don’t want to fuck this up. I can’t… I need you…” Ah…right-because of our contract.

“Don’t worry, Nicholas… I won’t go back on our arrangement. I’ll accompany you to wherever you need me to go… I’ll do whatever you want to change how the press views you. This doesn’t change that.”

“Fuck the arrangement! That’s not what I meant!”

“Then what did you mean?” I turn to look at him, confused by his words. His hair is a mess, no doubt because he’s been running his hands through it for the last few minutes. “Why won’t you tell me about The BlueBelongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

Moon?”

“Because, Kenzie!”

“Because, why?”

“Because I don’t want to lose you. And not because of the God damn arrangement.”

“Then why?” my voice is barely above a whisper; I’m scared to know what his response will be.

“Because I fucking love you.”