Under My Boss’ Table

I jumped into the new job and came to the conclusion that work saved me. It was this that moved me forward in every way and made me find the channel of expression for my inflamed mind. With surprise, I discovered in myself qualities such as prudence, consistency, responsibility, composure.

Especially prudence was worth keeping in mind. I wanted to get revenge up to a point, to show what I really was after he treated me that way. And the thirst for revenge propelled action more than any other incentive.

By the end of the week, I had already received the first accolades from our bosses at headquarters. Thank God it wasn’t Makar. So the praise was honest and unbiased.

It was amazing how quickly a person could change under the yoke of certain events, experiences… Those were the minutes of my true triumph, I was proud of myself, I knew the true value of myself and my efforts.

My appetite had not returned yet. At work, I didn’t have time to eat, I completely forgot about food and other necessities. I tried to force myself to eat at least within the normal range, but I couldn’t, my body was still resisting. And on the weekend, I saw that my favorite jeans were a little big, and in the mirror I saw the pointy contours of the ribs, the hip bones, the slim legs, and the chiseled cheekbones.

The following week passed in an instant. I really liked the new position, and the difficulties I encountered along the way only encouraged me. Who would have thought that my own work would become my antidepressant and a cure for those deep wounds that Edward inflicted? I got into it completely, without noticing the passage of time, exhaustion, hunger and even more suffering. They simply no longer had a place in my soul and my thoughts.

Each person, consciously or not, strives to see how they feel inside. I’m tired of walking red and cheerful. That image already bothered me. I had nothing in common with that flirty bitch who was raped on the boat. There was no time for flirting, no time for teasing and flirting. I wanted to go back to my usual Elvira appearance. Intelligent, diligent, honest, successful, for whom all this was, if not alien, then secondary. And so I couldn’t resist, I went to the store, bought a pack of black hair dye and repainted my hair.

Then I also cut my hair, guided by the fact that by changing the hairstyle, the person also changes. And it was not superfluous to refresh my image.

Putting creativity into action gives you a lot of relaxation. Having had a bit of hair-styling experience, I didn’t ruin myself by cutting my hair to the shoulder, but I found even more comfort in what I did with my appearance. I enjoyed not only my own reincarnations, but I also did not lose skill in this area. So in the mirror I saw a completely different woman: a short elegant haircut emphasized the sharpness of my cheekbones, the almost bluish black color made my eyes brighter, deeper, and the thinness of my face made them bigger. I got a little paler, but younger. Did I like what I saw? For sure. That was the real me.

At work, they noticed that this was my most successful image. I received many compliments. The surroundings were clearly becoming more cheerful.

But during these two weeks my soul did not have time to harden completely. Somewhere deep within me there was still a ray of hope and warmth in relation to Edward, no matter how hard I tried to escape these feelings, block them, ignore them, live again…

And the day came when he returned.

He entered the office happy, cheerful. His face was radiant, his eyes rested and renewed. I glanced at him briefly and immediately looked away. His tan and his wide smile said it all, particularly that his vacation with Sofia had been great.

Colleagues began to greet him with joyful voices. Edward greeted everyone in a friendly manner and brought back little presents for almost everyone. I viewed this show with suspicion and suspected that I would be overlooked. And so it was.

If Edward noticed me and my update, he didn’t show it. He didn’t even say hello, as if he wanted to deliberately emphasize the negligence.

But I was not indebted to him either.

During these two weeks, from time to time I thought about Edward and how I would behave when he returned. Despite the fact that I dreamed erotic dreams involving him, I sometimes masturbated with the help of the shower, thinking of my boss, I came to the conclusion that I must behave in the same way as him. He probably hoped that I would start to suffer for it and fall into a depression. Of course he was, but I was going to show him who would have the last laugh.

I didn’t want to think at all that he didn’t really care about me. This is not how I would like to end our story! Indifference is a neutral feeling and he wanted to create a storm of emotions that would torment me.

All day Edward and I ignored each other. Colleagues looked at us with obvious interest, waiting for new plots in this difficult game, and Alexandra smiled sadly and encouragingly at me. She understood that it was very difficult for me, but she sympathized with me by taking care of me and ceasing to have a connection with Edward.

But no matter how long we avoided each other, our joint project brought us face to face, which did not bode well.

A Skype meeting was to be held on the results of the plan preparation for the project implementation. Naturally, in Edward’s office.

I entered at the appointed time without knocking. I risked my career a lot by showing my dismissive attitude towards the boss, but I really wanted to lead him to at least some emotions.

Edward looked at me in disgust. Still not looking at him, I silently took a chair and placed it next to him. He sat down and waited for the meeting to begin. Edward snorted angrily.

“Make him mad, he’s done worse.” I thought nonchalantly, digging deep into my gaping hole of wonder for him, my desire to settle between his legs and shove his penis down my throat with such force that I suffocate.

“Good afternoon mates! We are glad that we all met on time. So, let’s get started.” A video conference started on the monitor screen after Edward got the call. We were remarkably encouraged and began to discuss the project.

Almost immediately I was asked to comment on my experience managing projects in Edward’s absence. I was praised again, and at this point I glanced at my boss. He sat gray-faced and clearly did not expect to hear about my success. The feeling of victory overwhelmed me and I almost laughed.

“Edward, how do you and Elvira plan to move on?” Asked our colleague on the other side of the screen. His question seemed so ambiguous to us that Edward was initially confused. I continued to maintain an absolute calm, full of confidence.

“Uh… To tell the truth, there hasn’t been a joint discussion yet.”

“I propose to use what Elvira already has, and on the basis of this to develop an additional plan.” Replied a colleague.

“No!” Edward said impulsively, firmly, raising his tone slightly. Everyone, including me, looked at him in surprise, not expecting such a huge protest reaction. “I’ll come up with a better plan.”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“What do you mean ‘better’? What do you mean by ‘you’?” Our colleagues were surprised. “Edward, you are a team, you must stick together and work with a common force! What happens?”

And here my faithful old lover, however, overcame himself. It wasn’t easy for him, which was noticeable just glancing at his facial expressions. With a sour face and a fake smile, he promised that we would work together and we would get an impressive and flawless result at the start. Inspired by his false speech, the companions ended the video conference.

After that, I got up immediately, removed the chair, and left Edward’s office without looking back. How I wished I could’ve seen his face!!! The demons within me did not only dance, but enthusiastically danced the ball!. I wanted to do the same right there and then. But for the sake of effect, it was worth bearing.

The following week I tried not to contact Edward at all. However, now there was no need or interest. I asked a colleague to swap offices with me, as the room was much more spacious and brighter than mine, which was not denied. So I got rid of the need to stare at Edward and the closed door to his office.

With all this, I mentally asked myself the question: what does Edward think of all this? Did my metamorphosis surprise him? Did he regret having led me then out the door? I knew, he must have thought a lot…