TWENTY NINE: IRENA
I R E N AThis content belongs to Nô/velDra/ma.Org .
Sage is near. Too close. Part of her wanted to be in his arms, but another part wanted to run away. She has become too attached. She should know better.
But she is very worried that something has happened to her so her presence will ease the pain in her soul. He looked at her with such seriousness that she almost leaned over. Most of them.
Fortunately, his head is noisier than his heart. Using the little strength she had, she backed away enough to break his grip. The cool evening air surrounded her, reminding her how cold it was to be alone in the Greenlandic wilderness.
“Are you okay?” Sage asked. His voice was lower than usual. It made her shiver.
She nodded and bit her lip. They need to put some distance between them. “What took so long?” she asked, hoping the coldness in her voice would help calm her pounding heart.
He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been gone all night. I think you want to keep moving forward. Now it looks like we’ll have to set up camp.”
He took a step back. “Well, I’m trying to kill dinner. How about you? Looks like you have . . .” – her gaze swept over the campsite – “didn’t do anything.”
“Well, me. . .” The heat burned Irena ‘s neck. The disappointment helped dispel the ridiculous feelings of infatuation she was feeling. Because she couldn’t have deep feelings for Sage Kennedy . Ridiculous. “I tried to make a fire, but the stupid thing you gave me to use didn’t work.” She reached into her pocket for the flint and gave it to him.
Sage stared at her, then his gaze slid down her arm to her face. “Did you spend all of my time away setting fires?” Where is the wood? He took a few steps toward his meager pile and picked it up. “Of course it’s not bright. It’s wet.
“The whole forest is wet!” she said as she waved her hand. The drizzle started again. Drops of water fell on his head and down his back.
“If we want to survive, you’ll have to do your part.”
Ah. Are not. That’s not what he said. “I’m losing weight.”
Sage nodded. “Uh huh,” he said as he started walking around, checking the branches around them.
There’s no way Sage would set fire to her face. She has to prove herself. She is not weak. And there was no way she’d let him think that way.
Finally, the two returned to the center of the clearing with piles of wood in hand. Sage dropped his sleeping bag and started hugging them like a teepee. Irena started building a wooden house.
For a moment, Sage ‘s flames flared up wildly while all Irena could get was a tiny spark that slowly disappeared. She tried to swallow her pride, but she couldn’t – she was frustrated.
She crouched down in front of her pile of rocks and continued to rub the flint bar over and over again, only to see the spark go out for a few seconds. Tears welled in her eyes as she refused to look up. There was no way she wanted to see the triumphant look on Sage ‘s face.
“Do you want to help?” His deep voice asked behind her, startling her.
She shook her head while bowing. “NO.”
Seconds passed and it felt like hours. Finally, arms appeared on either side of her as Sage wrapped his arms around her.
“You need to get closer to the tampons,” he said, his breath in her ear.
His proximity paralyzes his limbs. All she could do was nod. He lifted the flint and rubbed it against the other. Sparks jumped out and fell onto the cotton.
He burned it for a while before a drop of rain extinguished it.
“Try again,” he said, never leaving his hand.
Irena crouched near the forest and repeated the steps. All the while, Sage ‘s body remained close to his. After a few more blows, the cotton wool caught fire, as did the rest of the firewood she had picked up. As the flames licked the wood, Sage released her and sat down.
She glanced at him. He was watching her in a way that let her know that she really didn’t want to know what he was thinking. She doubted she could digest her thoughts right now.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked, leaning on one elbow and straightening his leg.
“Do what?” She threw more wood into the fire, the flames devouring them happily. There is something soothing about a fire. It helps warm his body in Sage ‘s absence. She shook her head. The thought of him pressing on her needed to go.
“Are you always acting like that? Never let anyone help you?
“I let people help me.”
Seeing that he didn’t answer, she looked at him again. He raised his eyebrows.
“You don’t believe me?”
Sage smiled. That damn half smile. “No. I don’t believe you. ”
Irena scooped up some bark and threw it into the fire. “I don’t know.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sage straighten up. “See, now I think you know that. Back on the plane, you made it clear to me that I didn’t want to go to my father’s funeral, but here you are, away from the people around you as well as me. He wrapped his arms around her knees and stared at her.
“I’m not far away.”
Sage scoffed. “Of course.”
“I am not. Ask me any question, and I will answer it.” As soon as she said those words, she regretted it. Did she really want to reveal her soul to him? What will he do with this information?
“Okay. Tell me about your parents.”
His stomach is like lead in his body. Why should she keep this promise? Bridget doesn’t even know everything about her. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said as she got up and walked toward the trees.
There was a rustle followed by footsteps. She could feel Sage as he approached behind her. Her body longed for his arms to hold her again. Stupid body.
“Just as I thought. You’re wary. Yet you have the guts to punish me.”
Anger flared up her spine when she turned around. “Don’t talk to me like you know me.” She desperately tried to hold back her tears. She couldn’t appear weak in front of him. She needs to be strong. She always needed to be strong.
He leaned back slightly, as if he didn’t mean to make her angry. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She clenched her jaw as she turned to look at the trees in front of her. “Because you’re leaving,” she whispered. Finally, the truth. It was as if a burden had been lifted from her chest, and she could breathe. However, it scared her.
A warm hand cupped his elbow. She shivered as he pulled her. She was only inches away from him. There was something very familiar about being around him. And she longed for that familiarity.
“Why do you think I’ll leave you?” His voice was hoarse as he approached her.
“Because everyone left me. I’m lonely. Now and always.” She couldn’t look him in the eye. Here, her eyes fixed on the ground, she was safe.
His fingers pressed under her chin as he pushed it up, forcing her to look him in the eye. “Irena”. He whispered.
She kept her eyes down for as long as she could. When she looked up, she cursed herself for doing it. His eyes were also filled with pain. As if he knew exactly what she was going through. A tear rolled down her cheek. He lifted his hand and brushed it with his fingertips.
“Why are you crying?” He whispered.
She closed her eyes, letting another tear flow. “I don’t want to hurt myself.” When she opened her eyes, Sage was just inches away from her lips. His body tingled as he drew closer.
“I wouldn’t hurt you, if you didn’t hurt me,” he said, his lips brushing hers.
“Promise?” If she moved just a little, her lips would touch his. And she wants it. Damn, she wanted him.
“I promise,” he said and closed the distance.
Heat rushed to Irena ‘s stomach as his lips touched hers. They warm in the cool Greenlandic air. She pressed her body against him as she ran her hand over his chest and revealed the feeling of his tight muscles against her palm. Her hand went down his shoulder to the nape of his neck, where she ran her fingers through his hair.
A groan echoed in his throat as he pulled her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist. He took a step toward the forest and pressed her against the nearest tree as if he needed more strength. Sage stayed close, pressing a hand to her chest behind her back. He kissed deeper and the feeling of his body against his took her breath away.
Everything she thought she knew about Sage was gone from her mind. All that remained was the joy that had just embraced her. Being so close to him that she didn’t know where she was or where he started. Although it scared him to admit it, it was also fair. Exactly.
He lowered his feet to the ground, stepped back and looked at her. His heart ached to return. She tried not to growl in protest. When her eyes met his, she held him back, letting him see her. At this point, she wouldn’t hold back anything.
He leaned forward to kiss her nose and cheeks, then gently brushed his lips over hers.
“I should make you angry more often,” he said, his lips a few inches from hers.
“Yeah?”
“You’re so cute when you’re angry. I can’t help it.” He teased her with his lips. He leaned down to kiss her and then smiled back at her.
Finally, she stood on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, and pressed her lips to his. She never wanted this moment to end. He bent down and put his arms under his knees. He hugged her to his chest and smiled at her.
“Where are you taking me?” she asked through her laughter.
He took one look at her and leaned down to kiss her. “So cold,” he said, setting her down in front of the fire.
She pretends to be heartbroken. “My kisses aren’t hot enough for you?”
His expression turned serious. “Ah, I didn’t mean to say that… ”
“Hey!” She patted him on the shoulder.
He leaned forward and kissed her again. “Actually, ma’am, I’ll start cooking dinner.” He nodded at the squirrels piled up a few feet away.
“Is it time for dinner?” She wrinkled her nose at them. “Seriously?”
“They don’t have McDonald’s that far,” he said as he walked over to them.
Irena sat back, watching him prepare the animals. She tried not to think too much about what he was doing. Instead, his thoughts turned to their previous conversation. Suddenly she wanted him to know the truth.
“My father used to drink,” she said, her voice softer than she intended.
Sage looks up from the squirrel. He looked at her but said nothing, so she continued.
“He came home from the bar completely exhausted.” She lifted her fingernail and nibbled it. “He’s not a good drunk. He’s… . insult.”
An angry expression crossed Sage ‘s face. “For you?”
Irena shrugged. “Rarely. Mostly my mother paid the price. I hid in the room and heard him beat her. . .” The thought remains as intact as the times it happened. As if speaking the words breathed life into the memory.
“If you don’t want to, don’t continue.” Sage had stopped skinning the animal and leaned toward her.
Irena shook her head. “I want to.” She took a deep breath. “I hid under the bed and covered my ears to drown out their argument.” She closed her eyes. She could still feel the coolness of the wooden floor below.
“That’s why you talk nonsense when you’re stressed.”
Irena nodded. “They died when I was sixteen. Car accident.”
Sage ‘s expression softened. “Both?”
“Yes. I lived with my aunt until I was eighteen and have been alone ever since.”
Sage dropped his knife and walked towards her. He still raised his hand but leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. As he walked away, he met her gaze. “I am really sorry.”
She shrugged. “Too good. It’s a thing of the past.”