One More Chance

~~~How I wish that I could tell you it's all in the past, but I was never good at lying. If I held you in my arms you know I'll never let you go, but this ain't the time and place to get emotional. I don't want to hear that song again from the night we first met. I don't want to hear you whispering things I'd rather forget. I don't want to look into your eyes 'cause you know what happens next, we'll be making love and then, I'd fall all over again~~~

-Dan Hill-

"I'm sorry, Sam, I wish I could bring back the past and changed what I did, but I couldn't."

And suddenly a bitter laugh escaped my lips as I remembered it was the same phrase I muttered to myself the time I found out I was pregnant.

"Do you know what's funny about what you said? I already mentioned that line a few years ago when I found out I was pregnant and you were pushing me away because you said the baby inside me was only created by mistake and that time, I wished to turn the hands of time and change the mistake I made, but the same as yours, I couldn't." I said shaking my head.

And we were enveloped in a sudden silence, but it was he who opened his mouth first.

"Sam, can't you give another chance--- even one last chance?"

He tried to take my hand again that was resting on the table, but I was quick to pull it away. Shock and pain immediately registered in his eyes, but I ignored it and avoided his gaze by wiping away my tears.

"Do we really have no chance?"

"Luke,"

"I will be a better man, a better husband---"

"You already said that."

"I will be a better father to Cali---"

"I have no questions about you being a good father to our daughter, Luke because I know you have been. You became a good father to Cali, but that's not the problem and I know it will never be a problem even in the future, it's you being a husband." "That's why I'm asking for a second chance, a last chance. Please, love me again, Sam?" He pleaded, his eyes full of unshed tears.

"I can't. "I shook my head, biting my bottom lip to stop it from quivering. "I can't, Luke."

I stared at him in tears and that was the time he let his tears flow down his cheeks. He lowered his head as he wiped his face with his palm.

"Sam..." He uttered when he looked at me and when I shook my head again, he closed his eyes tightly.

"I'm begging you, Luke, to set me free. I'm not begging you to free yourself from being a father to Cali, but I'm begging you to let me go. Let me be myself again."

But he said nothing, instead, he avoided my gaze and continued to wipe away his tears.

"You know what, seeing you like that makes me want to try. I really wanted to try again, Luke. I wanted to love you again, I mean, I wanted to be with you again and be a whole family, you, me and Cali, but..."

I paused to swallow the lump in my throat while he waited for my next words.

"But every time I try, the memories instantly rushing back to my head and it gives me a painful headache that invades me even in my sleep. Believe me, I really wanted to love you again, I wanted to hug you, but what you did in the past holds me back from doing it." "Sam..."

"I've already forgiven you if that's one of the things you were thinking about."

And when he didn't say anything again, I opened my bag and took the brown envelope. He watched me take the papers out of the envelope and looked at me with a silent plea in his eyes.

"Please, Luke, it's the only thing I can ask you after so many years and I promise this will be the last," I said placing the divorce papers in front of him.

"I-I can't, Samantha." He shook his head. He didn't even read the papers. "I can't let you go."

Taking a deep breath, I wiped my tears and stood up.

"Samantha..." He was quick to grab my hand and I looked at him. "Don't do this, please?"

"No, Luke, let's do this. For sure this isn't our last meeting. Our paths will cross again and again in the future because somehow there's a thing that unites us and that is Cali. We are both her parents and we can't avoid Seeing each other when she needs us or every time she will need our presence. And who knows that at that point, when I find myself again and have already found the peace I was looking for, I will be ready to accept you again? Who knows, right?"

And with that, he slowly let go of my hand.

"I hope you can give this to me, Luke." I patted him on the shoulder before heading towards the exit door of the coffee shop.

I started running towards the shore with tears flowing freely down my cheeks. I don't care if those tears blurring my vision or if other people looked at me with different emotions on their faces.

I don't know what's wrong with me as I found it difficult to say goodbye to him. He has changed and I can see that, but it's also hard to forget those nightmares of the past that keeps taunting me every time I saw him or even catch a glimpse of his mistress.

I didn't leave right away even though the sunlight was becoming painful to my skin, I chose to stay a little longer and watched the people enjoying the water. There were some couples that seemed to enjoy each other's company than the beach water. And I shook my head a bitter chuckle escaped my lips.

But just like what happened earlier, I was enjoying the view when I heard Luke's voice calling my name. My head snapped from where his voice was coming from and my mouth dropped open when I saw him running in my direction. Then I lost for words when he lunged at me at hugged me tightly.

Since I was shocked by his actions and thought it would be the last, I just let him hug me and a few seconds later, I also found myself hugging him back.

Tears started to run my cheeks again when I noticed that he was crying.

"I-I love you, Sam."

I bit my bottom lip so hard to refrained myself from saying the words 'I love you too.' Those words that I dreamed of hearing and saying to him a few years ago.

He pressed his forehead against mine when he pulled back and I closed my eyes.

"I love you so much that it so hard to let you go after more than four years of waiting for you, but I realized it could never be enough compared to those years you waited for me to appreciate you and love you back." He said as he cupped my cheeks. "Luke," I opened my eyes and gave him a half-hearted smile.

But suddenly I remembered something I should have returned to him before filing for divorce. I took the little purse in my bag and took out our wedding ring, my wedding ring.

"What's this?" He asked me confused as I placed the gold ring in his palm.

"I have no right to keep that ring with me."

"No, keep this Samantha, please---"

"No, Luke, I can't! That ring symbolises our bad and little good memories." "Sam---"

I interrupted him and cupped his cheeks.

"I'm not giving it back to you for you to throw it away. I want you to keep it because I don't want to finally close the door of my heart. I love you and have loved you for so long that I couldn't promise I would easily forget you or the feelings I have for you Who knows one day, when we meet again and when the time is right, I'll be the one to ask you for that ring to put on my finger again?"

I smiled at him as I continued to cup his face.

"Who knows what will happen, right?" I sighed. "It's just that I gave you everything back then, but you didn't value those things. And that's the reason I wanted to get a divorce, Luke, it's not just you that I wanted to forgive but also myself and when that happens, I will love

you again completely without the pain and anger of the past."

And before he could open his mouth

and before I could think straight, I kissed him. I didn't even wait for a few seconds as he instantly responded to my kiss. I kissed him with all the love I have in me. I kissed him as if it were the first and the last kiss we would be sharing---because I know it would be. I kissed him with tears running down my face. I kissed him between the sobs that

simultaneously escaping my throat.

I kissed him... goodbye.

"I love you," I whispered when I pulled back and since I had already left him standing shocked on the sand, I no longer heard the words he said as he watched my back slowly walk away from him.

"I love you too, Sam. I will always love you and I will wait until the day comes that you're ready to accept me and love me again."novelbin

As I ran away from him, loud and choking sobs kept bubbling out my throat... and in the middle of the day, it suddenly started raining hard. It's like raining cats and dogs. I stopped for a while and tried to look up. "Argh!" I screamed and then decided to run to my car.

I don't know but the weather seemed to be bearing the weight of my chest at that moment. And with one last glance in Luke's direction, I turned on the engine and started driving with tears still running down my cheeks.