One More Chance

~~Don't leave me in all this pain. Don't leave me out in the rain. Take back the sad word goodbye. Don't leave me here with these tears, come and kiss the pain away. Un-break my heart, say you'll love me again. Undo this hurt you caused when you walked out that door and walked out of my life. Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights. Un-break my heart~~~

-Toni Braxton-

At the age of 26, we met again and it was then that I realized that I had never really forgotten him and that the feelings I had tried to bury over the past years suddenly waved in front of me and at the same time reminded me of what I've been through. And now... now is the right time to finally let go of everything, to finally let go of him and move on.

"Whew!" I shivered when I felt the cold seawater reach my feet.

I checked the time from my wristwatch and noticed that it's only 10 minutes before 10:00 in the morning, but as I still can't see the man I was waiting for, I decided to walk along the seashore and seized the last moment left before finally letting go of everything... of what we had.

But I was just starting to enjoy breathing the cold breeze that embracing my skin when I heard my name being called. "Sam,"

And based on the instant reaction of the beating organ in my body called 'heart', I already knew who that person was.

Holding my breath, I slowly turned to where Luke was, but when the wind blew his scent towards me... his scent that even a few years had already passed, still familiar to me... my breath totally stuck in my throat.

He's wearing a plain white shirt that fits perfectly in his toned body and jeans that he never usually wears, so it's kinda refreshing to my eyes.

I gulped when he started walking towards me with a smile playing on his lips. I tried to calm my insides and decided to walk to meet him.

"I'm sorry, am I late already?" The first question he asked as soon as he stopped in front of me.

"Nope, I was just early," I replied, reciprocating the smile he's giving me.

I don't know, but at that moment I felt that something had changed in him... or maybe I have changed.

"Have you had breakfast or even a cup of coffee?" He asked again and I shook my head.

Honestly, due to the anxiety... if what can I call it... having breakfast or even drinking coffee had slipped my mind this morning. I don't want to be late because I don't want to add that to things I'll apologize to him for. "Jesus Christ, woman! It's almost ten in the morning and you haven't had breakfast yet? Let's go."

"Uhm..." I lost for words when he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me towards the nearest coffee shop from the beach. "Hey, I'm fine, you don't have to do it."

"No," He suddenly stopped--- much to surprise and I gulped when he looked at me. "It's the only thing I can do, so at least let me do it." And before I could open my mouth, he started pulling me again.

I looked at his hand which was now holding mine and a sad smile curled up against my lips. I can't call it Déjà Vu because I don't remember a certain thing or happening in the past that the same as that one. Or maybe it's just my heart screaming inside me that what's going on at that moment was a part of the dreams I built in my head when we were here a few years ago. I admit, I never felt that certain feeling when I was with David, it's only he could give me the spark that instantly runs through my veins and sanity just by simply holding my hands. "Oh, you're back together!"

I was suddenly drawn back to my senses when I heard the scream of the man wearing a white uniform the moment we entered the coffee shop.

"Jason!" Luke uttered the man's name and was about to walk over to him, but stopped when I pulled my hand out of his grip. He turned to me, but said nothing and then continued to greet the man he called Jason.

I took a deep breath and decided to go to the farthest table, so I couldn't hear what they were talking about. That man seemed familiar to me, but I don't have time to reminisce everything that happened in that place, especially when my purpose is to get Luke to sign the divorce papers.

He came to the table after a few minutes.

"I'm sorry. That's Jason, the owner of the shop. Don't you remember him?"

That question got me looking up at him and the man at the counter, but even though I recognized him, I still shook my head.

"No, I don't remember him," I lied avoiding his gaze, so I missed the sudden sadness that had been written in his eyes.

"Oh, okay." He said nodding. "Anyway, what do you want to eat?"

I really wanted to tell him 'No, you don't have to bother, I'm fine', but the expression on his face made me change my mind and say my order.

"I just want black coffee and a slice of blueberry cheesecake, that's all."

"Okay, I'll just get our order."

I nodded and watched him as he walked towards the counter.

I closed my eyes as I sighed deeply when I was left at the table. I have to do it now before my heart can stop me from doing it.

He came back with a tray in his hands. He placed my order in front of me and was surprised when I saw the same thing in front of him, and then I remember the things we have in common. We both love black coffee together with a piece of cake. "Same as yours."

He shrugged and I just smiled.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" He asked as he halved the slice of vanilla cake on his plate. "Can you just say it slowly, so I can get ready for the ending?"

"Luke..." I couldn't help but mention his name as I saw the pain and sadness in his eyes.

"Honestly, I really wanted to say that I don't have an idea why you asked me to meet you and think that it's the other way around, but seeing how serious your expression right now, I couldn't."

I gulped but then stared at him.

"I want a divorce, Luke," I said looking him straight in the eye, so I didn't miss how much those words shocked him.

"Whew!" He exhaled loudly.

"I want to file a divorce petition. I want us to divorce, Luke, and this time I want it for real."

"I-I don't know what to say, Sam." He said shaking his head.

"Please... I need to move on. I need to let it all go and I want to be with myself this time---"

"Wait, what do you mean, you need to move on?"

"You already know the answer to that, Luke."

"No, I don't."

"Luke, please?"

"I don't know, Sam, tell me."

I gripped the cup of coffee hard despite it being hot and gave him a hard stare.

"It's because I love you!" I said through gritted teeth. "And I still love you!"

"Sam..." His expression softened and tried to take my hand.

"I already said this to you, didn't I? We already talked about this."

"If you still love me, then why are you asking for a divorce? Why do we have to file for divorce? You love me, I love you, Sam and I know all the people around us know about it."

"Yes, I said I still love you and I found

you feel the same for me after so many years, but that love that we have isn't enough to cover the past The love I still have for you isn't enough to erase all the

ovel.ne

memories---all the painful memories of the past. All the things that happened and those heartaches you gave me."

And that made his mouth hang in mid-air.

"I tried, Luke." I started again, trying to blink the tears that had formed around my eyes, but I found it hard, so I just let them flow. "I tried to forget you and this fucking feelings I have for you, but I failed. And God knows how much I tried to ignore the truth that I haven't moved on yet, but when I saw you again, suddenly all that happened a few years ago came back to my mind. They seemed like knives piercing my heart and I couldn't breathe again."

I wiped the first set of tears without taking my eyes off him.novelbin

"I'm sorry."

"And even though I keep saying I don't want to hear your sorry, your apology, I still repeatedly find myself in front of you and listening to you.. I'm tired, Luke" I paused, trying to smile at him, but it just turned out to be a fake and bitter smile. "And you know what, because of you let go of the man- good man who showed me the things you never showed me. He loved me the way you should love me many years ago because you were my husband, but you never did."