I Am The Luna

VALERIE.

My heart sinks when I hear his door slam.

What have I done?

What was I doing?

Goddess! I’ve made a mess of things.

“Val…” Zaia’s no longer smiling as she observes me. “Are you ok? Did I come at a bad time? I’ll leave if you won’t take offence. I shouldn’t have barged in like this.”

Her warm smile returns as she looks at me apologetically, and I shake my head. Walking over to her and hugging her tightly.

“No Zaia, I need you here. I will never tell you to leave.” You’re my girl, my soul sister, damn we’ve been together through thick and thin.

I can’t say all that out loud as it’s so mushy, but she is my everything.

she

My eyes prickle with tears and I hug her tighter and she hugs me back. doesn’t question me again, simply holding me and running her fingers through my hair comfortingly.

Since Grandma and Dad passed away, she and Atticus are all I have.

How do I tell her?

How do I forgive myself?

How do I face my guilt?

“Come on, have your dinner. I’ll make us a hot drink.” She gives me a gentle squeeze and I appreciate her not pushing or comforting me by telling me to talk to her. I never liked that.

“You travelled all this way, You need to eat as well. I’ll order pizza.”

“I’ve eaten and your meal is getting cold,” She reminds me, as she opens the paper bag and takes out the carton, she pauses for a moment and smiles as she takes the lid off. “Oh, it looks delicious, this is my favourite kind of ramen.‘

“Have some, I’m ok. I’m not that hungry,” I sigh.

She shakes her head. “I told you, I’ve eaten,” she answers, bringing it over to the table. “Now pa

up.”

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I sit down, a part of me wants to save that note but I don’t want Zaia to see me keeping it so I simply watch her bin the lid before she folds the paper bag and when I’m expecting her to bin it along with the note, she simply places it to the side with the sticky note and I almost let out a breath of relief.

I love how Zaia does things without questioning why. No matter how busy we are, or how much time passes, she understands me the best. I suddenly feel emotional and grateful she’s here. Even if I can’t tell her my troubles, her just being here is more than enough.

“Do you have coffee? What a question. This is Val’s place. There is always coffee.” She smiles at me and I return it.NôvelDrama.Org holds this content.

“Always, top cabinet on the left of the cooker,” I answer, falling silent again as I look down at the bowl. a

I’m torn.

Torn between these feelings that are growing inside of me for him and on the other side Jai…

I swirl

my chopsticks around the ramen bowl and sigh softly.

His touch… his kiss…

I close my eyes remembering how he kissed me. It was about me… he was attentive to what I liked yet at the same time the intense passion was… beyond anything I have ever experienced.

His kiss… why did it feel so so damn good? I’ve never been kissed like that before…

But then, reality hits and the guilt is still here, a stark reminder of the reality of our lives.

How do I deny that I was flirting with him? I can’t deny that. I had teased him and when he had yanked me close; I had felt excited.

The way he left, banging the door, piled the guilt on, guilt for hurting him. Was he upset with what I said to Zaia? Or because I was trying to mask his scent?

I don’t know what to do myself; I don’t know what this is…

Is it just a passing attraction or more? And if it’s more, then what do I tell my friends and family? How do I tell them I’m falling for… him?

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