Devoted To You

The sky was hazy and soon it started to rain. The gray weather had a refreshing coolness to it, but Susan was huddled in a corner.

There were no more tears in her eyes, she didn’t know where to look, and her mouth kept saying: “He really has promised me that the money will come soon. There is money, the father will be able to get well. After he is well, our family will be able to reunite again …”

“Let me in, I want to see him again. Let me in, I didn’t hurt him, I didn’t hurt anyone … please, let me see my father again, please …”

When Alex rushed over, he was watching her sitting on the stairs in front of the door, cowering under the eaves in a hospital gown, hiding from the rain.

It had only been a few days, and the smallest size clothes looked like burlap sacks on her.

He slowed his pace and moved the umbrella to her head.

Susan is still murmuring, and her speech is a little slurred, only sporadically understanding a few sentences to, “I … have money, Chandler promised me … I have money, Dad, you will not die … won’t.”

Susan slowly raised her head and looked at Alex, the tears in her eyes fell steeply, making him panic.

“Alex, my dad, he’s dead.” She spoke in a dumb voice, unusually helpless: “My dad he’s dead, he was killed by me, I’m a mourner, I got my mom and my dad … and they both left me.”

Alex did not know what words should be said, his hand stopped in the air, not knowing whether to put it down, or take it back.

“I got my kids killed, I got my mom and dad killed, Alex, tell me, am I just a bogeyman? Don’t I deserve to live in this world? You tell me!”

Without waiting for his answer, Susan lowered her head again and murmured, “What am I going to do, what am I going to do? I have no more family, no more, I have nothing!”

” I’ m sorry.” He didn’t know what to say.

Susan finished and fell back into a dull state, murmuring, “I should have died, if I had died they wouldn’t be like this … Alex, what to do, what am I going to do … ”

Alex looked at her apologetically and said in a slow voice, “It’s okay, everything will be fine.”

Susan shook sadly and looked at him with nothing but hurt, “No, it won’t be okay, as long as I’m not dead, none of this will be okay. I’m a goner, you see, my mom and dad, my kids, they all died because of me. They were right.”Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

Susan pursed her lips until they were white before she spoke, “They’re right, I should have died so no one would be burdened.”

“Don’t deny yourself like that.” Alex wrinkled his brow.

Susan’s gaze returned to him with disbelief and a sad smile, “Then tell me what else I can do! What else can I do but act like a fool and be played as a joke? You tell me.”

He sighed and said helplessly, “You’re just too tired, just go back and rest for two days first.”

Susan withdrew her gaze again and laughed: “Rest … Where am I going to rest, my home is gone, my child is gone, and my relatives are gone? You say, where else can I go!”

“Go back to the hospital, you are still weak,” Alex suggested.

Susan didn’t answer but made her thoughts clear with her actions at the moment. She shrunk her body inward, carefully huddled in the doorway.

It was raining heavily, drenching the sleeves of both.

Susan still felt cold, not from the outside in, but from the bones of the cold air.

It is probably because she has just cried, she will not be mad again. When speaking, there is a thick nasal voice wrapped around, Susan also does not mind dirty, sleeves paste the face of tears and snot.

Alex took out a handkerchief from his arms and placed it in front of her. Susan looked at it and took it, muttering in a low voice, “Thank you.”

He didn’t say another word as the rain fell a little harder. It fell to the ground and bounced back onto them, and Susan held herself senseless.

Weak as an animal.

Alex looked at her like this and suddenly had this premonition in his heart as if she too was about to leave.

“You go back first, I want to stay here with him and see him off for the last time.” She looked up, teary-eyed, and said, “Thank you.”

“It’s okay.” He looked indifferent, unconcerned with these courtesies.

Susan slowly lowered her head, her voice like a mosquito, “Thank you.”

She did not know if he heard the words and did not speak aloud again.

“You are the third person in this world who has been so kind to me.” She suddenly said, and then squeezed out a smile to match her wretched appearance, some comical. But Alex only felt a stirring in her heart, as if something had hit him.

She wiped her eyes, the tears that were about to come out just dried up, and her eyes glowed red, swollen, and red.