Torrid Little Affair (Forbidden Desires #3)

“He’d been saving up for a ring. I knew that, and although I cared about him, things between us were already changing. I was realizing what I felt was love and friendship, but I also knew he wanted more. I planned to talk to him. Break things off. We’d never been intimate, never were lovers in that way.” I thumbed the bare space on my ring finger. “Anyway, when the accident happened and I learned the full extent of his injuries, I knew what I had to do.”

“What were the full extent of his injuries?”

Cooper’s voice startled me for a moment, but I nodded.

“He had a severe head injury. Since he was late for work, he hadn’t taken the time to grab his helmet. There was some spinal damage that restricts him to a wheelchair, but the primary issue was the brain damage. He has the mentality of an eight-year-old, and he will for the rest of his life.”

Tears burned in the back of my throat, but I pushed past them for Cooper’s sake. Today, this story wasn’t about Aaron and me. I’d grieved for Aaron for years and always would. Right now, it was about Cooper.

“So, as I was saying, when I knew all that, I understood what I had to do. He was my best friend, and I was all he had in the world, just like he was all I had. Things didn’t turn out the way we’d hoped, but I couldn’t just give up on him.”

The waitress reappeared with my coffee and I took it, grateful to have something to distract me, if only for a moment. Silently, I waited as Cooper processed everything I’d said, sipping my latte, and then he looked up at me with tense, firm lips.

“That must have been devastating for you,” he said, his voice low and tight.

“It was a long time ago now. But yes, it was a hard time. I made the decision that we marry. He never asked, but I knew it was what he wanted. Being married . . . well, it meant I would be his caregiver, his legal guardian, and that he’d be covered under my health insurance.” I paused, drawing a deep breath.

“Corinne . . .”

Cooper reached a hand toward me, but I didn’t take it. Instead, I focused on my coffee, getting out the last of what I’d planned to say.

“Look, I know you must think I’m a horrible person. I am a horrible person. I mean, I’ve been sleeping with you, a man who isn’t my husband, for the past month.”

“You’re not a bad person.” Cooper’s voice was soft now, understanding. “You have needs just like anyone else.”

“Even though I’m not with Aaron romantically, I still tried to be faithful. About five years ago, I got drunk at a bar and had a one-night stand, but before you . . . before you, I hadn’t been touched in many years. I’d slept with two men for a grand total of twice, so all this, with you? It’s all still very new to me, and I know now that it was wrong.”

Cooper shook his head, his expression softening. “No, Corinne. You’re amazing for caring for Aaron this way for so long. I never knew him, but I can’t imagine he would want you to lay down your entire life like this. Do you think he would want you to sacrifice everything for him?”

“You sound like Mauve,” I said and let out a humorless laugh.

“There’s something I still don’t understand, though,” Cooper said.

“What’s that?”

“You said you guys were married. How did you . . . Was there a ceremony?”

I nodded. “Aaron didn’t have health insurance at the time, so there was a rush to get it done. I had the ceremony performed in his hospital bed. His care is still incredibly expensive, but back then, it was just insane. I didn’t buy us rings or anything; it wasn’t a romantic gesture. I just needed to be sure that I could take care of him like I needed to.”

Cooper nodded. “I understand.”

A beat of silence passed between us, and though I wanted to study his face, to try to understand how he was processing all this, I remained transfixed by the mug in front of me. After pouring out my heart to him, I didn’t have any energy left to see the hurt or confusion on his face.

“So, what now?” Cooper’s voice was deep and thoughtful.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. We can’t really be together, not in any real way. We can never be more than this.”

“Corinne-”

I shook my head, cutting him short. “This is why I tried to find the right words before. See, before Aaron, I had nobody and nothing. Without me, he has nobody and nothing. After everything we went through together, I can never leave him. And I won’t divorce him.” A tear slid down my cheek, and I swiped it away with the back of my hand. “You have to believe me when I tell you how sorry I am for not being honest with you from the beginning. You should have known everything, even if this was never meant to be serious. It was wrong of me to lie to you.”

Cooper shook his head. “I forgive you. Really, I do. I just . . . I don’t want to say good-bye.”

“We have to.” I choked out the words. “This-you and me-we can’t be casual lovers. You wouldn’t be happy, and I would always want more. I can’t spend my time neglecting Aaron when I’m with you, and wishing I was with you when I’m with Aaron. We just can’t work.”Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

“So that’s it?” Cooper asked dully, and for the first time, I truly knew the answer.

“Yes. I’m so, so sorry.”

He leaned across the table and kissed my cheek, his face pale and stark with grief. “Then good-bye, little dove.”

Another hot tear rolled down my cheek, and I swiped it away before jumping from my chair and dashing from the café.