Through the Screen

Chapter 91

"you're here! i will come downstairs to get your bags!" adrian's voice is shrill with happiness as he

quickly shoves a woollen hat on top of his head, loose ringlets escaping the fabric and resting on his

forehead, and his feet encased in a pair of worn out house slippers. he gives abel a comforting smile,

and informs noah about the arrival of his grandmother before leaving the house, a strange silence

enveloping the entirety of the apartment at the departure of the small boy. Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

it wasn't that the apartment was buzzing with laughter and conversation earlier—it's just that with

adrian in the house, it seemed as if there was a thin layer of comfort between the two lovers, without

him, the silence begged confrontation yet again. noah unwrapped the blanket from around his torso,

stretching his arms above his head and wiping his palms across his face to bring some colour to the

haunting paleness of his skin, before he got up and stepped out of the living room, making his way to

the kitchen.

and then without warning all movement ceased, lips pursing and eyes widening as noah stopped in his

tracks, his heart that had been trying and failing to mend itself was pulled apart further at the sight of

abel. purple lining the once glimmering brown of his eyes, golden skin sprinkled with blotches of tears,

and his shaking hands visible even from afar.

abel 's mouth opened and closed in a silent apology, as if he was apologising for the simple fact that

noah had to see him, and the brim of his eyes flooded with tears for the second time in the past hour

when noah refused to spare him as much as a look and disappeared into the kitchen.

and both of them broke down yet again, different locations, similar reasons—both lacking comfort and

both of them undeniably hoping for something to turn back time.

noah braces himself against the kitchen counter, body failing to function, lungs refusing to expand and

chest hurting constantly at the reminder of the chain of events that on had occurred only a few hours

ago. his mind is aching with conflict—he wants to both cut off all possible ties with abel and end this

deranged relationship that was never meant to be, and hold abel close to his chest because he just

can't see him hurting.

he is aware, that even right now, even after all this pain, his heart will be ready to accept abel back into

his life, to forgive him, to understand him, to love him the same unconditional way he has been loving

him all these years.

he knows that he doesn't care about himself, about how he physically can't handle abel 's presence

after what he has done, about how uncomfortable he feels with abel 's confession that he willingly let

someone else touch him the same emotional way noah used to touch him, about how he knows that

they will never be the same again.

he knows that even after all this, his heart will continue to belong to abel—even if it ceases to beat and

breaks apart times and times again—it will still, always belong to him.

his brain and heart, mind and soul, are all at war within himself. it is bad blood between rationality and

a love that is willing to consume everything in its wake—strings of his heart threatening to snap,

thoughts in his mind threatening to scatter amidst the minefield of his body. and the worst part about

this gruesome battle is that every part within noah is against noah himself.

right now, he can't even comprehend to understand abel because he can barely understand himself.

the contributing factor to all this pain should have been abel, but noah is hurting because he is

collapsing within himself, lack of understanding, lack of coordination, lack of simple motility, causes a

strange lump to settle in his throat and his mind to stretch out and contract all at once.

with his conscience spacing out and body ready to relapse, he brings a glass of water to his mouth,

creating a breathing pattern for himself because his body wouldn't cooperate. his eyes fall shut

momentarily, trying to calm himself down, the glass almost falling from between his fingers when he

hears a familiar voice cut through the cold silence.

"abel! i haven't seen you in such a long time!"