The Soldier Next Door

Well…

Who would have ever thought I would pick up the phone to the voice that is coming from the other side. For a second, I was not going to as I did not recognize the number coming through. But yet I am, which is debatable if I am strangely happy or extremely annoyed.

So without torturing myself any further, I decide to speak and just remain in silence, “To what do I owe this displeasure?”

There is only but a stuttering that is coming through; then, after what seems like a good long minute, there is an answer, “Ethan, can we talk?”

“What makes you think that I want to talk to you? You have taken my son and fucked off; now I am warning you, Ana, you better have him back within the next hour.”

“Ethan, I did not phone you to argue; there is something that we need to talk about.”

“Cut the shit, Ana. I want my son back home. I told you not to fuck with me. Now I am giving you an hour, do you understand me? I am fucking tired of your shit.”

“Oh, are you calling me shit now?”

“Ana, take it up any way that you want to, but I am warning you again, do not fuck with me.” I pause for a brief moment to gain the edges of my restraint before I completely snap at her. “This is the last time that I am telling you. Where are you? I want my son.”

“Ethan, stop being an ass.”

“Oh, really. You have not seen an ass yet.”

But then she hits me with the very grim reminder of the whole situation, “Can we just drop our failed marriage, and can you listen to me?”

“First of all, it was failed on your side,” Then I pause for a brief moment, “Second, can you ask fucking please.”

She only but grunts at me, “Ugh, why do you have to be so impossible?”

“Because, unlike you, my heart is broken.”

“Ethan, you know that we were never going to last. You knew that we were always failed from the start.”

“God, are you really so thick, or do you just choose to forget? I guess that I was the only one who fell in love, but you, you never felt a fucking single thing. Now, now you want me to forget about a marriage that meant everything to me, and you just want to talk? What the fuck is there left to talk about then?”

She snaps at me again, “Then leave it if you are not willing to listen to me.”

“That is not what I said, Ana. You always just hear what it is that you want to hear. You know what I have come to realize these last few days while I wallowed in my own goddamn misery?”Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.

“No, and I don’t know why we have to discuss this again?”

“Because I want you to listen until it sinks into your fucking head. I have always loved you, fuck I think I even loved you from the start, but you just gave no fucking thing at all. But I let you in whenever you needed or wanted me to be there. I should not have, but I did. I knew that the first time you left me that I should not run back to hold on to something that I knew will, yes, in fact, never work.”

I pause for a breath moment as I listen to the irritation in her breathing begin to rise, yet I do not give a shit. For I only continue, “I chose to be with you not because I was desperate because something in me could never stop caring and loving for you or even more, that I needed you. Yes, I needed you; I needed you to love me.”

“Ethan, do we have to do this?”

“My god, I cannot actually believe that you just said that, now if you could just admit that you did never love me, you know, perhaps I will and can continue with my life. But I know that will never happen. So let us put this into perspective. You need to talk? Well, the only thing that I am talking to you about is that you need to bring my son home before this turns out fucking ugly. Ana, do not test my patience.”

Then she knocks me completely out of the park, “Can we not just not separate for a while until I know what it is that I want to do?”

“What?” My voice echoes to every crevice in the lounge as I try to remain calm and not tell her what exactly I think of her at the very present time. Yet, “Ana, bring my son home, and then we can discuss this separation like to adults where you are not hiding on the other side of a line.”

But wait…

Why the fuck am I still on this call?

I should have phoned Pendle Police a long damn time ago. I do not even know why I am trying to talk sense into a woman that by all proven facts, just does not seem to care!

Yet, she continues, “Please, Ethan, can we not just talk without this getting out of hand.”

Ya, I don’t think so, my dear.

She has me in tatters. Best, it is time to end this now, before I tell her the rest of which I truly want to tell her. “I don’t think that will work out for me; the less bullshit that I hear come from out your mouth, the far better it would be for my heart. Now, if there is one thing that I hate, then that is me having to repeat myself a hundred times. This is your final warning, Ana; before I hand this over to the authorities, you need to bring Lucas back home. I don’t give a fuck if you sleep in the lounge or in your room, but I want my child where I can see him.”

“But, Ethan, can we not just talk about this?”

“Ana, I can no longer be your doormat. I fell in love with everything about you, except for the way you treated me; how is that even possible. When we were together, I felt like I had tunnel vision. I was so focused on you and everything you had to say. The way you smiled at me, god, your smile melted me.”

She wants to talk, but I hear her sigh as she lets me carry on speaking, “I told myself every time you left, I wouldn’t let this happen again. Then I would get a text from you, and my heart would melt. I never had to think about it. I knew I wanted to see you. I wanted that time with you. But every time you left, you made it clear I was your last thought or not never a thought at all.”

“Ethan, you know how hard it is. We would have never worked.” And for one brief while, as she pauses, I could almost say that she is crying. Yet, “We could not work; what makes you think it will work again?”

“You know what, Ana, I am phoning the Police. This…us…I don’t deserve this, and I never did. When you phoned, I will be honest, it did give me some hope, but I cannot fight this battle with you anymore. I cannot fight to have you around. I cannot fight to see you. And least of all, I cannot fight for someone that will not fight for me.”

“Ethan, please.”

“No, Ana. This ‘thing’ is toxic. I want to believe you didn’t know you were hurting me, but I think you did. I don’t hate you, but I love myself too much to keep trying to love you. It’s time to let go of the woman I fell in love with but didn’t love me.”

With that, I hear her burst out in tears as I drop the phone, well, more like tossing it to the other side of the room.

But just as I am about to leave the room, the goddamn thing starts to ring again…

Now, do I answer her?

I know that she is going to call persistently until she gets to tell me whatever it is that she feels to get off her chest after she has taken my son from our home without me knowing. The plain fact here is, if it was just Ana that left me, then perhaps I could have been able to deal with it, but she has taken Lucas.

She has crossed a line, and I am rather, a matter of fact, not going to let her get away with that. She does not want this to get out of hand…

Well, Ana, this has just become very much out of control.

So with this very thought in mind, I find my phone on the floor and make that call.