The Mafia’s Wanted Desires

ASHLEY

I have been indoors since he stormed out of the room, curled into a ball under the sheets and crying my eyes out. I groaned, yanking a piece of tissue from the Kleenex box beside me, and wiping my face with it. I threw it somewhere in the room, hugging myself. I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I would have made smarter decisions. I wouldn’t have threatened Lawrence and Maria, preventing them from telling him. Heck, I would have told him myself.

I have seen him angry. I have seen him look like a volcano but I have never seen him the way he looked this morning. He looked broken. He looked betrayed. He looked hurt and it was all because of me. The fact that I was the source of his pain made me want to rip my hair out of my scalp, and then stuff it into my throat. It affected me. A lot more than I let on.

He hadn’t come back into the room after he left the other time and it was almost nightfall. I was looking forward to him coming back home. I was looking forward to being in his arms again, to being held and babied by him. He wouldn’t even look at me. My mood dropped from a thousand to zero.

A knock sounded on the door and I rolled my eyes, not wanting to get out of bed, but much to my irritation, the knocks persisted and I had no choice but to get out of bed. I wore my flip-flops and made my way to the door, twisting the knob. The worried face of Alberta came into view. She was holding a white tray in her hands. I was a sucker for food, but I had no appetite. My taste buds were overly numb.

“I am not hungry, Alberta.” My voice came out so hoarse and her eyes softened at my words.

“Has he had anything to eat since he went out?” I demanded and she shook her head, sighing afterwards.

“He has been in his study all day. He asked not to be disturbed.” She answered, examining my features.

“You should have something, you know?” She tried to cajole me, keeping her voice soft.

“No, I am not hungry. I have to go and see him.” I told her, stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind me. She opened her mouth to protest but she snapped it shut when she saw the look on my face, sighing softly.

“Of course, Mrs Gray. I’ll just take this back to the kitchen.” She smiled at me and spun on her heels, heading back to the kitchen. I was left alone with my thoughts and that had me sighing.

I mustered up courage and began making my way to his study. Dread filled me, remembering the first time I went to the study and that was also the first time I saw him kill someone. The thought of it made me shudder, goosebumps sprouting all over my skin. My heartbeat doubled in speed, pummeled so hard against my chest as I approached his study.

The quietness of this wing once again had fear creeping into me. It had chills crawling up my spine, fear engulfing me. I quickened my steps and released a breath. I didn’t know what I was holding when I sighted his study, but I furrowed my brows at the sight of the hefty bodyguards that were positioned at the entrance. I scoffed, anger surging through my veins at his petty behavior.

Did he think his guards were going to hold me off from seeing him?

Well, he was in for one hell of a surprise.

But then, something about that sight was triggering for me. It was nostalgic because that was the exact situation that led to our first meeting and I felt an unconscious smile crawl up my lips, spreading across my face in a grin. It made my heart flutter. It was funny because a few weeks ago, I didn’t think I would be saying this or feeling this way.

“I want to see my husband.” I wasn’t asking. I was ordering them. When they didn’t give me a response, I scoffed, cocking a brow at their insolence.

“Are you two hard of hearing?” I queried, folding my arms under my chest.

“The boss said he doesn’t want to see anyone.” One of them said curtly and I sent him a mean look. The duo were towering over me like gorillas, but I refused to be intimidated by their height. They had nothing on me because whether they liked it or not, I was still their boss’ wife and that automatically made me their boss too!

“You two fuckers will step the fuck aside while I go in there to see him. Do I look like just anyone to you two?” I demanded, assertively, and even though I knew it was petty, I flashed my ring in their faces, glaring at them. I stalked forward and tried to step in but one of them reached out to touch me and I chuckled, mirthlessly.

“Touch me and you won’t have hands anymore,” I said sternly and twisted the door handle, stepping into the dim room, then I shut the door with a loud bang. I hissed through my teeth, spinning around, and I sure wasn’t ready for the impact of his cold green eyes drilling holes into my body. It was as though he wanted to embed his gaze into my body and I could feel my skin burn at the intensity of his eyes. He had a knack for making me feel like I was about to go up in flames under his gaze.

He looked like shit. His curls looked a lot messier than they did when I saw him in the morning. I needed no soothsayer to tell me that was courtesy of him running his fingers through them, almost a thousand times. His facial features came off as rigid and that showed me that he was struggling to keep his emotions in check. His shoulders seemed a little sagged as he twirled his tumbler in his hands, the golden liquid in it swaying side to side. My eyes flickered at the bottle of whiskey in front of him and a soft sigh evaded me.

“Did you tell them not to let me in?” I queried, one of my brows tugging up at him, against my will. Irritation simmered through my veins, a scoff leaving my lips at how far he was willing to take this. I was fucking repulsed.

“I didn’t want to see anyone,” he answered, his voice detached. There was an emphasis he made on the word ‘anyone’ that made my heart clench in pain, beads of tears forming in my eyes. There was something so dismissive about that word that shattered me to pieces.

“Wow, so, Arden, am I anyone now?” I questioned him, scoffing. My voice was beginning to break and he didn’t even look like he gave a fuck if I cried a river. He looked like he didn’t give a damn about me.

“I am your wife!” My voice rose a notch.

“Well then, fucking act like it!” He barked at me, throwing his tumbler at the wall and causing it to shatter to pieces.

“We are supposed to be partners, remember?” His voice came out in a snap, hard and stern. They stung so hard because it felt like he was trying to jog my memory about the fact that we were supposed to be partners.

“Don’t you think I know that?” I queried him, holding back my tears.

“I don’t think you do.” He chuckled, humorlessly.

“I don’t think you know that, because if you did, you would understand that everything I am doing is to keep you safe. You had just one thing you needed to do, just one thing. All you had to do was trust me and listen to me. But you just couldn’t do that and it almost cost you your fucking life!” He was yelling at me and I couldn’t stop my tears from flowing.

“Do you know how it messed with my head that something could have happened to you? Peach, it would kill me if something had happened to you! I would not be able to live with myself!” He growled, pounding his fists on the table.

I released a shaky breath.

I was tired of him being so mad at me. It was exhausting. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I moved from where I stood, approaching him.

“Don’t come close!” He warned, but I debunked his warnings and followed my heart. I stopped right in front of him and saw him look away from me. I heard a shaky sigh elude him and that tiny, vulnerable sound had my breath seizing.

I got on his lap without thinking, straddling him. I brought my hands up to his face and felt him stiffen underneath my touch. I didn’t allow that to deter me. I stroked his cheek with the pad of my thumb and heard him suck in a breath. I cradled his face in my palm, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead.

“I am so sorry. I was stupid. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I am so sorry.” I ranted, sniffing.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

“Please, just look at me. It breaks my heart seeing you this way.” I pleaded and he tilted his gaze to meet my soft one. His watery green eyes had my breath punched out of me. His vulnerability was written all over him. He was like a broken little child. I squeezed my eyes shut and brought my palms to the back of his head, drawing him closer until his head was resting on my chest.

There was nothing more comforting than this position, right now. It made me feel like I was finally able to breathe after weeks of him being away from me. I felt so complete. I felt more alive.

His limp hands were soon wrapped around my waist, pulling me close and adjusting me on his lap. Fuck, I miss his hands on me. It was sudden. I didn’t even see it coming. One moment, he had his head buried in my chest and the next, his hands were crawling into my dress, palming my ass and giving it a soft squeeze. I couldn’t fight back the moan that flew out of my mouth, causing me to dig my fingers into his hair, my nails grazing his scalp.