The Haunted’s Kiss of Regret and Repentance

Brixton and I looked at his friend Karl, and he had this look of utter shock and amusement in his face. He was holding a little girl’s hand. The little kid wearing the princess dress had the same dusty blonde hair like him, and she looked like she was three years old or so. Her eyes were bluish gray like Karl, and by the cleft chin that she had like Karl, she was either his sister or child.

All four of us, including the little girl looking at me, were all silent after Karl’s sudden question. I recovered first, and I quickly shook my head as a way of answering him.

“Karl, that’s not what happened. Me and Brixton never made out at the parking lot and-wait a minute, how did you know it was at the parking lot?”

“I knew that when you’re with Brixton, you would use his car, and the two of you have always had moments when you almost kiss each other when I was still in studying with you two. So the parking lot is a no-brainer I guess.”

Brixton was still quiet, and he was just looking at me directly, while the little girl holding Karl’s hand suddenly walked towards me while still holding his hand.

“Mami? Are you my mami? Papi, is she mami?”

Karl, Brixton, and I looked at the little girl, then Brixton and I looked at Karl in a questioning way. Karl gave a dry laugh, and he didn’t give us a panicked expression, but a sad one.

“No, mi bebita. She is your aunt Shyne and your uncle Brixton. They were papi’s best friends when papi was still in school, before you were born.”

Karl picked up the little girl, and I saw the love in his eyes as he quietly fixed the princess dress that was crumpled when he carried her. Brixton suddenly looked at me with a weird look that I couldn’t quite explain, but my heartbeat quickened with the intensity of his gaze.

“Guys, this is my daughter Isabella. She’s two and a half years old, and she’s the reason why I told you guys that my parents wanted me to study in another country. I’m really sorry if I was a coward and hid her from the two of you.”

“Man, don’t worry about that. Me and Shyne would never call you a coward for hiding her from us at first, because we are more than proud of you for stepping up for her. Not many men do that for their daughters or sons.”

“Brixton is right, Karl. This little princess here is more than blessed to have a brave papi beside her who shows his love for her.”

“Thanks guys. I really appreciate that coming from the two of you. I felt guilty that I hid her from everyone, including the two of you, especially after her mom didn’t make it after giving birth to her. I felt like I didn’t just ruin her mom’s life, but I ruined my baby’s life as well. I guess it took me years to get the courage to tell anyone.”

“We were about to leave because of a little scene that my cousins made a few minutes ago, but I don’t think the owner would mind us staying a bit longer to catch up. Especially if a little princess like Isabella would grace us with her amazing presence.”

Isabella giggled whenever I called her princess, and after a few minutes, we got another round of coffee, cakes, and I specifically bought a pink cupcake for Bella to bring home for later. The three of us were catching up, and suddenly, I saw another dark apparition on one of the mirrors at the shop.

“Hey, Shyne, are you alright? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

Karl laughed a bit, but Bella suddenly got teary eyed and was attempting to cry.

“Hey, hey, what happened, sweetheart? Does something hurt?”

“P-papi said the ghost is here. I don’t want ghosts. Bella is scared, papi.”

The little girl tried her best to stop herself from crying by wiping her tears and then covering her eyes. She was too adorable, and I felt a warm feeling when I sar Karl take her in his embrace and give her a big bear hug so she could hide her face on the crook of her dad’s neck.

“I’m sorry that I said that, sweetheart. Papi didn’t mean to scare you, because papi and aunt Shyne were just joking around. There are no ghosts here, and you don’t have to worry, alright?”

“That’s right, uncle Brixton and your papi will make sure that we will protect our princess Bella.”

I giggled at Brixton when he spoke softly to the little crying girl. I saw her quiet down, and she looked at Brixton with glossy eyes, and she held her pinky finger as a question of his honesty.

“Uncle Brixton, do you promise that? Are you not scared of ghosts like papi?”

“Of course I’m not scared of ghosts, Bella, because me and your papi will scare that ghost away if there is one.” Brixton suddenly looked at me while talking to Bella.

“No ghost would ever be scary enough to take you away from me. I will always be there to save you and protect you from the ghost.”

We held each other’s gaze as the words he uttered were directed to Bella, but his gaze told me it was also meant for me. We broke eye contact when Karl cleared his throat, and a smiling little Bella was also intently looking at the both of us.

“Your words are promises to my daughter, but both of your eyes are telling me that those words are meant to be something more interesting than the topic we had. May I question the question that wasn’t answered previously?”

I blushed hard when a mischievous grin was on his face. I realized that Bella was already rubbing her sleepy eyes while her father was talking, which is why Karl was bold enough to question me and Brixton.

“After my baby finally sleeps properly, I would like the both of you to tell me the truth about what’s happening between the two of you. Also, why are you two stealing glances with each other as if I’m not here. I mean, come on, I know that the both of you like each other, but it has been YEARS. You guys really need to hook up or something and give my daughter a playmate, but not a boyfriend ’cause she will be a nun.”

I decided to tell Karl all about what was happening to me with Rian and the curse, and throughout the entire story, he was silent. The only times that Karl’s eyes left my face was when he would rock little Bella back and forth to keep her from waking up.

I only did a summary of the important parts of my story, but I kept the details of my dreams. As much as I trusted them, I couldn’t bear to tell them the abuse I experienced both in person and in my nightmares. The mere fact that I was able to tell them the details about how Rian was indeed torturing me and following me was already turning both Brixton and Karl’s moods darken.

“Look guys, by the look on your faces, I really shouldn’t have told you about the contents of the nightmares. I’m sorry if I told you, I mean-”

“Babe, why are you even apologizing for the sick things that the guy is doing to you even after his death? There should never even be a reason for you to say sorry to us except the fact that you said it only now. I mean, even so, you are still not obliged to say sorry.”

“Brixton is right, Shyne, you made a mistake in the past, but that sick bastard is still bothering you and stalking you up until now. You are more of a victim than he ever was. So please stop apologizing.”

“Thanks guys.”

My eyes were a bit glossy, and by the determined look on both of their faces, I already knew that they were going to make sure that my problem would get solved as soon as possible.

“Shyne, I feel like I shouldn’t be the one asking this right now, but you mentioned a baby inside a basket that Rian held and showed you in your nightmare multiple times. What does that baby mean, and why do you think he showed it to you multiple times?”

I stiffened at the question, and so did Brixton. I didn’t realize that I was being too honest with them that I accidentally mentioned about the bay that I was supposed to be hiding from them.

“T-that baby. The baby that Rian kept showing me in my dreams was a failed pregnancy. Actually, I had multiple pregnancy scares, but those times, there was never a baby or any form of life formed. The only time that I had a failed pregnancy was when-umh, it was- ”

“Babe, you don’t need to tell us anything that’s too uncomfortable for you to say. We know that this topic isn’t something that we can tell us.”

“Yeah, Shyne, I’m sorry if I asked about the baby. I’m okay with whatever you’re willing to tell us.”

“No, I haven’t told this to anyone yet other than my cousin Perry. I know that you’re one of the few people that I can actually trust enough to tell this to.”

“Alright then, babe, whatever it is, and whatever you did in the past, it will never define who you are trying to be now. You’re doing your best to get out of regret, and I know you’re almost there.”

“Thanks, babe, and thanks, Karl.”

I took a deep breath, and I looked at my reflection on the coffee in my mug. A tear fell from my eye, and I took another shaky breath before speaking.

“There was a time in our relationship that I noticed how obsessed Rian was with me, and I decided to leave him. However, something already happened between him and me, and I was afraid that would tell people lies about us.”

I closed my eyes and I could imagine the terrible look on Rian’s face when he saw one of the text messages that I sent my friend Sweet. It was a text that contained the reason why I felt like I should leave him.

“That afternoon, we met in a different place that was a few blocks away from his house. It was an abandoned hut near the paddyfield that they owned. At first, Rian seemed okay, but I was creeped out at the fact that we were so far from people and other houses. He said that he had a surprise for me.”

“Shyne, you don’t have to go through your story if you’re not comfortable with it. You’re going to break that mug if you grab it harder and shiver more.”

“No, Karl. I can tell you the story. I should tell you what happened to me.”

The both of them kept silent, and I looked at Brixton before looking back at my mug of coffee.

“He was so mad, and we got into a fight after he told me that he saw my text about wanting to break up with a guy like him. He told me that his love was devotion and not obsession, so my reasons were not valid to break up with him. He never used his hand to hit me but he-he used them to force me. He said that he would do anything to keep me, and he would make sure that even if I leave him, his memory would never leave mine, and I would always look for him.”

Tears were now falling from both my eyes, and Brixton gave me his handkerchief and offered his frappe to cool me down instead of my hot coffee.

“He-he forced himself on me multiple times that day, and I wasn;t able to go home sooner because everything hurted. I felt like I was violated both physically and mentally that I nearly killed myself when I arrived home. He kept tabs on me everyday after that without causing any suspicion from my parents and my guards. I felt like I was a zombie that lost everything, but I had to keep going because I was too embarrassed to admit that I was raped by my own boyfriend whom I had coitus with multiple times already.”

I whispered the last bit when I suddenly remembered that there was a baby with us, and I saw Brixton close his eyes and held the corner of the table lightly to stop himself from punching it.

“I saw him once a week, and he would still touch me every time we met. A month later, I showed signs of pregnancy, and my mom said that we should go to the doctor, because she said I looked like I was a ghost half of the time. Before the results came out, I was able to talk to the doctor in private, and she told me that I could possibly be pregnant. However, since it has only been a month, the fetus looked like it wasn’t developing properly. ”

I looked at Bella, and another set of tears fell from my eyes.

“I tol Rian and he was happy, so he didn’t touch me for another month until another check up was conducted by the doctor. It turns out, the pregnancy was a failure, and the baby wasn’t formed. It stopped developing after a month, and it was the reason why I felt weak.”Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

I looked at Brixton, and my face made the hatred in his eyes go away.

“I didn’t mean to lose the baby, but I felt guilty because I was happy it didn’t develop. Rian would always tell me that I lost the baby on purpose, and everytime he touched me, I tried to pretend that I liked it so he would stop being hard on me while I tried to figure out a way to leave him.”

“Shyne, I’m sorry to hear that. It’s cheesy I know, but I don’t know what else to say. None of it was your fault.”

“I just-I felt so dirty after everything. Whenever he called me his whore, I felt like the toxicity in the relationship was eating away my identity.”

“Babe, you made a mistake, but that was a mistake that you’re trying your best to correct now. He forced you, and you never lost any dignity after he forced you. Remember that. You are not at fault, and you losing that child and being happy about it doesn’t define you as a person.”

Brixton stood up and sat beside me to give me a big bear hug.

“Babe, the devil worked hard when he used that man to force you, but God made a way for you to get out of the mess you entered in, and now that mess can be a message. You survived, and you are now trying your best to make amends. I’m proud of the person you are now, and it’s the reason why I will always love you.”