The Haunted’s Kiss of Regret and Repentance

“Are you sure you want to go to Rian? You can just break up with him through text or call. I mean, everyone does that these days.” Perry said after I told her of my mother’s ultimatum.

“You know I can’t do that. The guy is too obsessed with me, and I have something to tell him in private too.” She looked at me as if I grew two heads.

“Don’t tell me you’re pregnant.” I raised an eyebrow and shook my head in denial. “You BETTER not be pregnant, Shyne. Your mom and dad will shoot you. Oh my goodness, you said he respects you. I mean-”

“I am not pregnant, okay? I just need to talk to him, because as far as I know, the guy is too obsessed, and I don’t need a future stalker.” We laughed as I went straight to Rian’s house after school.

I moaned louder and louder, and my breathing became more ragged. I bit my sleeves as I tried to hide my screams as the lady pressed harder and harder on my tummy.

The old woman looked like a witch with her frizzy white hair with gray and white streaks. Her eyes were cold and pitch black, and she was wearing a plain red shirt and brown pants just below her knee.

“Just a little more. You should’ve thought of this before the both of you decided to be stupid in the bedroom,” The woman said with a bored expression as if it was the most normal thing to say and do.

As a first-year college student, you’d think that I’d be in class or at a bar or something during a weekday. Unfortunately, I’m in a small village in the middle of nowhere at an old lady’s house, getting checked if I was indeed pregnant or not. I’ve made many dangerous choices in life, but this is by far the stupidest and deadliest of all.

I could feel my tears threatening to fall as she pressed hard on my body to make sure no fetus was formed. I looked up and saw my boyfriend Rian holding in his laugh. He was wearing his black shirt, and he looked a bit older than his age. Other people would have felt comfortable having their boyfriend beside them, but all I wanted to do was punch him where the light wasn’t shining.

This dummy better not laugh, or I’ll make sure he’ll never have any kids in the future, even if he wanted to. I thought to myself as the old lady stopped torturing me and helped me sit up. My shirt was now a bit oily, and I tried my best not to faint because of the pain.

“You both are stupid.” The old lady said bluntly. “Next time you make stupid decisions, make sure you’re both prepared for the consequences. Good thing you’re not pregnant, or else you’d be in greater pain.” She said in a bored manner.

“Well, hon, this is what you get for having fun with me,” Rian said playfully. I slapped his hand so hard it left a mark.

“Shut up. It takes two to tango, so I wasn’t the only one who made a stupid decision.” I said as I slowly stood up, and we bid our goodbyes to the old lady.

We went back to Rian’s house, and we talked for a few hours about all the things we shouldn’t do. One slip-up could’ve cost me my whole future and both of our lives. My dad would’ve shot my boyfriend dead knowing I was only nineteen and in my last year in senior high school, while he was twenty-four and didn’t have anything going on in life. He didn’t even have a diploma to show he graduated high school. He would be in jail if my parents were concerned.

He kissed me once. Twice. Thrice. I lost myself in the moment again. But this time was different. I felt lost yet exposed. He kissed me again, more demanding and more forceful. I looked at him straight in the eyes, and his face started to change. His face became more rigid and more menacing. I hugged him and closed my eyes as a lone tear from my eyes fell. I’ve never felt so disgusted in my life, and yet I can’t seem to force myself to leave. Every second felt like years of emptiness, and all I could do was force myself not to cry again.

“I want to go home. It’s getting dark, and my mom and dad are probably looking for me.” I said while fixing myself. “There’s no signal here, so they’ll probably think I turned off my phone, or I’ve been kidnapped or something.” I continued talking to eliminate the tense atmosphere.

Regret was not alien to me. However, the shame I felt at the moment made me want to carve out my brain just so I wouldn’t be able to think anymore. I’m not pregnant. I should have left already and made sure never to make the same mistake again, yet I am doing it again. The reality of a nonexistent future was enough to make me feel the worst kind of regret I have ever felt.

“You can stay a little longer. I can drive you home later.” He said and held my wrist a little too hard. “Come on. You’ve only been here for a few hours.” He said while pulling me back to sit beside him. His arms snaked around my waist and held me tightly.

I looked straight into his eyes, and I felt the hairs on the back of my head stand up as his eyes turned black and a little wider than usual. He wasn’t smiling. Instead, he was looking back at me with the same intensity as he did in the past when he was about to make me do something I knew I’d regret.

He’s mad. He doesn’t want me to leave him. He knows I’m going away from him for good. He’s mad. He’s mad at me. He’s not the Rian I know. I said to myself over and over again as we locked eyes for a minute or two.

“I’ll go home in a few minutes. Let’s just walk outside for now. I feel stiff, and it’s getting a bit dark here inside the room,” I said in hopes that I could leave Rian’s room and his territorial eyes fast. Why am I suddenly terrified of him? I asked myself.

FEAR was what I felt as I let him hug me after our staring contest was over. I felt myself shiver in fear but played it off as if I was just cold. I finished fixing myself and took my bag. Rian agreed, and we walked hand in hand while I said goodbye to his mother outside. No one bothered us because they all knew we were a couple. I felt both welcomed and alienated by their stares and smiles.

I shouldn’t be here. What am I doing with my life? I asked myself as I unconsciously held my sore wrist and back. I looked at Rian as we made small talk about his plans for our future. A house, a family, kids, marriage. It felt good hearing it from him, but it also felt unnerving whenever I remembered his eyes.

“You know what? I can’t wait for you to finish school and live with me. Why don’t I just get you pregnant after graduation so you’ll have no choice?” He asked as he laughed a little. We were walking on the road while looking for a way for me to go home.

“My dad will shoot you if you do that, and you know he’ll probably shoot me too in the process.” I jokingly said.

“Well, I’ll just shoot him first.” He said with a smile. I smiled back but felt uneasy. Can he do it? Or was it just a joke?

“Come back tomorrow morning, and make sure your schedule is cleared tomorrow.” He said as he held my hand softly.

“I have dance practice tomorrow. How about after lunch?” His grip on my hand tightened, and I felt my heartbeat quicken.

“Do as I say. Do you understand me?” He said as we stopped walking. The road was empty, and the air felt colder. I just nodded as I stared at his eyes. The moonlight gave me enough light to see his face looking demanding as fear once again crept in.

Why does it feel like I’m signing a contract with the devil or something? His eyes make me feel like I’m being chained by him. What’s happening to me? Am I going crazy or what?ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

His eyes suddenly turned black as he held me with an iron grip, and I couldn’t move. My voice was stuck in my throat while his face shifted to a terrifying image filled with malice and anger.

No! No no no no no no no no no! Let go of me! Nooooooooooooo! Let me gooooo! Noooooo! No no no no no no no noooo! I felt his grip on my hands tighten, and his smile turned even more terrifying. I have to get out of here!

“You’re trying to leave me, right? I know that face. You can’t leave me. I’ll do anything and everything I can for you to stay. YOU. ARE. MINE.” He whispered into the darkness of the night. Nooooo! Somebody help me! He’ll kill me if he doesn’t stop.

I took a deep breath, and I screamed as loud as I could with my eyes closed tightly. I suddenly woke up looking at the clock inside of my room while I breathed heavily.

“It was just a dream. A terrible dream of the past. Nothing is real.” I said to myself. I couldn’t stop my hands from trembling as I remembered the past. Every night I would dream of the same nightmare.

Perry was usually here to rub my back and tell me it was alright, but she recently went home to visit her mom in her hometown. I felt like Rian’s eyes were still on my body as I slowly looked around my room. It had been a long time since that night I left him, and I could still feel Rian’s grip on my arms.

He’s gone. He isn’t here anymore, and no one can hurt me anymore. I told myself over and over again as I rocked myself back and forth while trying to calm down my racing heart.

“You know you should learn how to lock your doors, honey.” A voice said as my door slowly opened to show Rian dressed in a bloody shirt. I couldn’t breathe. I stared at his appearance as I felt myself go numb with fear. “You didn’t think I would lose the mother of my child, did you?” He said as he slowly walked towards me. “You’re mine, and you will never escape me, my love.”

This time he was now near my bed, and I felt faint as I could smell the blood on his shirt and hands. He then choked me as I snapped out of my dazed self. I tried to scream, but he was on top of me swiftly. Finally, I poked his eye, and he was able to let go of my neck as I tried my best to escape and force the air in my lungs.

I got out of my room and into the empty hallway of our flat. A hand then pulled my ankle, and I fell hard on my behind as Rian smiled in front of my aching body. His eye was bleeding, but his grip on my ankle was firm, so I screamed as loud as I could while Rian was laughing hysterically.

No. This can’t be happening. I thought as I thrashed and felt the man’s hands go up to my waist as my tears fell. I left him! This should not be happening! He shouldn’t have found me! They promised that he wouldn’t see me. I felt tears as I tried to think of how he found me and tried my best to escape.

“I’ll never stop chasing you. You are mine, and I don’t care if I have to kill everyone who gets in my way.” He said as lights from the rooms inside the flat began to open and people checked out the scream’s source. I tried to scream again, but Rian covered my mouth and pulled me to the nearest bush while he firmly held my hands.

“You’re mine, and you’ll never get away from me.” He said as he pushed me behind the bush and sat on my legs while covering my mouth and holding both hands on his one hand. “I don’t believe that you never got pregnant. I know you got pregnant that day and left so you could give birth here and hide my child away from me.” He snarled and tightened his hold on my hands and mouth.

“If you don’t give me my child and live with me, then let me do the honors of showing you how much I want to have a family with you, my love.” He whispered as he began to kiss my forehead. I screamed while he covered my mouth.