The Glimpse of My Past

Diane’s P. O. V.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

With blurry vision, I woke up with a heavy feeling to the point that I didn’t even want to get up from the bed. My head felt like it would crack open, so I just closed my eyes again and retreated under the soft duvet. That said, I moaned and hugged the pillow beside me because I just wanted to continue my sleep. But, after a few minutes…

Argh! What happened? I held my forehead.

It felt like my head was banging out loud, and I wanted to puke every time my stomach ached a lot. I couldn’t sleep anymore, so I dragged myself up and quietly sat on the bed. I closed my eyes again as if it would take away the imaginary and thick black clouds above my head. Waves of nausea were adding to my stomachache, making me feel useless.

Only then, everything that happened last night sank into my brain-from damn happiness to apparent hatred. It was from the feeling of jealousness up to the state of forgetfulness. Reminiscing, it was building and knotting the agony in my chest again.

It all started when Liam and I went on an aerial tour in Bonito Island. We were so happy while taking lots of photos together and literally eating our Japanese lunch on air. But when we came back to the company, an unfamiliar bitch suddenly kissed my boyfriend right in front of me, and I didn’t even give him a chance to explain. I walked away and ended up nurturing my heartache.

I went to the nightclub, got drunk, twirled myself all around, hazily danced with different men I knew nothing about… until I completely passed out.

Yeah, I was able to forget everything… but it was only for a while. Now, I have to deal with my problem again.

“Oh my God!” I screamed. While recalling everything that happened, I freaked out and immediately looked at myself. My heart was drumming so fast, thinking that I got laid by someone last night or even gang-raped.

“Thank God!” I heaved a deep sigh out of relief when I saw that I wasn’t naked and was wearing a peach lacy dress instead. At one bleary look, I was on my bed.

From what I could remember, I was wearing blue faded jeans matched with a black sleeveless shirt and white three-fourths blouse yesterday, so I was sure that I didn’t have this dress with me. Maybe Mom dressed me up while I was sleeping. Then, I removed the comforter and rose to my feet.

Puzzled with thoughts about how I was able to get home and what was Mom’s initial reaction, I seemed to have forgotten it all when my legs suddenly hauled my whole body to the course of the bathroom. It was because I felt like I was about to throw up. My stomach lurched and gurgled, making me vomit into the toilet bowl. 

Even though I couldn’t get anything while being drained, it felt like something was still squeezing my stomach up to the last liquid that I could spew out. I flushed everything as soon as I was already done before I stood up and splashed water into my face. I somehow felt refreshed, but how I wished that I could also wash the toxins inside my brain.

The mirror showed my expressive eyes, the dark bags underneath them, my pale cheek, and messy hair. I washed my mouth and tasted my tongue-the hard liquor was still rooting there. My hangover was like a grenade, ready to explode real soon.

So, this is how it feels to be intoxicated by alcohol. I didn’t want to feel this way again anymore!

Exhausted, I went back to my bed. I guessed I got the taste of my own medicine as I coughed. I used alcohol to treat my wounded heart, so I had to accept the harrowing pain my whole body was experiencing right now.

That was when I rolled my eyes all around the room. It was a dimmed-lit room, with thick white drapes covering the windows. My forehead creased into a frown when I couldn’t see my antique vanity mirror where I would always comb and style the long hair of my baby sister. My dream catcher was missing in the windows too.

Then, my eyes went wide open when I realized that I was not really in my own room at the moment. Fear and nervousness crept me up as I thought about where I was and who had brought me here. I also realized that I didn’t even own the dress I was wearing.

Where am I? Oh wait, I was with Lorenz last night. But where is he? Is this his house? Did he… dress me up?

Throughout our college life, we only used to hang out at Karen’s place so I had never been at Lorenz’s. I was massaging my head when the door of the room suddenly opened, and that made a slight creak. Due to my surprise, at the same time, fear, I suddenly backed away and covered myself with a comforter while still sitting on the bed.

A woman, whom I thought to be in her late fifties, entered the room, and it looked like she didn’t have the capability to do something bad to me. She had a bright face with light wrinkles on her forehead and neck. For the second time around, I just heaved a deep sigh of relief.

She just headed towards me while carrying a stainless tray with a glass of milk and a bowl of hot soup. The delicious aroma had reached my nose that I wanted to taste it as soon as possible.

“Good afternoon, Hija. It was good to see that you’re finally awake. How are you feeling now? Are you okay? Do you feel a lot better from yesterday?” She greeted me with a smile. After that, she placed the tray on the bedside table.

“I-I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” I replied meekly before I asked her, “Hmm, I didn’t have my watch with me… what time is it?”

“It is two o’clock in the afternoon, dear. By the way, just call me Nana. I am the caretaker of this house, and I was also the one who changed your clothes, so there’s nothing to worry about. By the way, I made you a mushroom soup. Eat it while it is still hot.” She was still smiling at me and I could feel that she was so caring. The kind of smile she was giving me was so contagious that I couldn’t help myself but smile at her too.

But is it already two o’clock in the afternoon? Oh my God, I’m sure that Mom was indeed worried because I didn’t go home last night!

Mom might be already panicking about my whereabouts, and I wouldn’t be able to lie to her that I was with Karen because my best friend already resided in Cebu. Another thing was the fact that I wasn’t able to report to work.

It wasn’t even required to go to EGC because today is a Saturday. I just wanted to finish the balance sheet that I was working on so that it wouldn’t have to add to my workload next week.

My stomach pitched out of hungriness, so I took the tray, put it on my lap, and prepared myself to eat. The comforter was thick enough for me not to feel how hot the tray was. I had to leave after this, or else Mom would scold me a lot.

I was able to sip a few dollops of soup before I spoke. “Thank you, Nana. Hmm, where is Lorenz?” I asked that made her eyes suddenly widen with shock.

“Huh? Who is this Lorenz you are referring to, Hija? Oh my God, you are really drunk! You don’t even know who you were with last night? Next time, don’t get drunk again or you might engage yourself with another drunken mistake…” she squealed before she continued.

“For Christ’s sake! What if Liam didn’t see you? We could never know what happened to you,” she was so much worried about me, but what she said made me stop eating.

Did she just say Liam? How could that even happen when I was with Lorenz in the nightclub?