CHAPTER 16
Lucas’ POV
When Zara insisted that it wasn’t wrong to let her friend Nick into the house, I wanted to throttle her neck. She was stubborn about it but I told her several times that Nick shouldn’t be allowed in our house.
I was able to breathe when she agreed to it. Actually, I don’t understand myself anymore. Why do I cringe when I think that that idiot will step into my house to steal something from me?
That is so fucking up, but I can’t get any better idea why I am failing to make it normal than usual.
“About the last night… I just want to apologize. I was drunk at the time.” She interrupted me.
“Let’s forget about it, Lucas,” she said.
She is still washing the dishes. I, on the other hand, am restless with annoyance. How could she easily say it? I was confused by her kiss.
Nothing has changed! She is still the Zara that I know. Yes, and he seems to have settled. That’s why I can’t understand why I’m like this or why I am so confused. As if my spirit floated last night when I kissed him.
I don’t want to accept what I am concluding right now. Because it’s not good! I can’t let myself fall that way!
“What will be our lunch later?” I asked her while she was still busy wiping the plates with a clean tissue.
Shit Lucas? What the fuck are you doing, man? Why are you trying to create a conversation with her? Am I really old?
She seems surprised by my question, and she slowly faces me with a smirk evident on her face. Why does she suddenly become angelic in my eyes? She seemed to glow before my eyes. And there are sudden beatings in my heart. It felt good!
“Are you going to eat here?” she wondered.© 2024 Nôv/el/Dram/a.Org.
Don’t worry, Zara. I am as confused as you.
“Yeah? Am I not allowed to eat here anymore?” I asked, and she shook her head.
She said, “Of course not.”
“So, what are you going to cook?”
“Maybe I’ll cook a beef steak. I’ve already had some marinated a while ago, so I’ll just cook it thoroughly. Is that okay with you?”
I absent-mindedly nodded.
That time when it is still hard to accept her and our son. I loathed her way of cooking. I know that her cooking is delicious, but I am showing her and acting like her cooking is way too bad.
While Giselle is bad at cooking. She can’t handle that with a spoon, and she will mess up the whole kitchen.
Zara is different, and so is Giselle. But why am I so confused?
I am sitting in the dining area of our house. Zara is still cooking for our lunch. The aroma of the sizzling beef filled my nostrils. She never failed to amaze me with her way of cooking.
She is humming an unfamiliar song, and I steal glances at her from time to time. I don’t like this. I’ve never been so fanatical about looking at her. I always felt hatred towards this woman without knowing its source. Is it right to own up to my mistakes now?
Out of nowhere, I asked her an unfamiliar question.
“Aren’t you angry with me? All this time, what have I always done towards you?” I asked while staring at the back of her body.
She stopped her tracking when I asked her that question. She looks so stiff based on her posture. She turned to me… But she had a smile on her lips-the opposite of what I expected.
“Of course, I was very angry with you. There was a time when I could have strangled you. What would I have done? I’m not a saint,” she explained.
I don’t know, but instead of being offended, we both just laughed.
“Why are you still holding on if you know…” I asked. I am not minding if I am being insensitive or sounding that way.
She turned to me again and said, “You know, Lucas, I never had the experience of having a father. My mom is a single parent. And one of my dreams is to have a complete family. Who doesn’t want to build a family with the person they love, right?”
So, she really loves me?
I don’t know, but I felt proud knowing that she loves me. Something that unknowingly makes me happy. I felt bad for Nick because he already loses the battle without starting and making a fight.
And about her question, which woman doesn’t want to start a family? It’s Giselle. She hates the idea of having a child and a family yet. She and Zara are very different. But why do I feel this way? Am I doomed?
And Zara doesn’t have a father? That is also the reason why her grandfather, the captain, wants his grandson to have a father. He doesn’t want him to feel the same destiny as his daughter and her granddaughter.
And as our conversation deepened, I couldn’t help but get to know her better. She is a smart woman. I never thought it would be this fun to talk to her.
“Let’s eat?” She put the rice and warm dish on the table. She also prepared lemon juice.
As soon as I took the first bite from my spoon, I couldn’t help but be amazed at the deliciousness of her cooking. The beef is tender and flavorful, and she is also not sloppy when serving rice.
She is pretty; Zara is beautiful, kind, patient, and a very wifely woman. If our paths diverge. She will be swooned over by lots of men out there. Nick is one of them. And just that idea is making me mad.
Even if I don’t recognize what I feel, my heart doesn’t lie. Am I fucking fucked up again? Am I slowly falling? Am I jealous?
I shook my head inside my mind. I need to get rid of this feeling. Giselle and I just had a fight, but she is my only dream.
While we are in the middle of silently eating our lunch, I asked her again, out of nowhere.
“Why are there women who don’t want to get married even though they love the man? Why can they do that because of a dream?” I can’t believe I asked her this. Maybe I don’t have lots of girlfriends, and I want to hear a point of view from another woman.
She smiled. “Is that about Giselle?” She can catch it faster than I thought.
I nodded, and she answered. “You know, Lucas, women are different. There are women who want a family right away; there are women who are career women; there are women who are simple; and there are women who have high dreams but can’t settle down right away. Just like our names are different, women are different too.”
“I see…” That’s all I said.
“It’s just my advice, right? If you love her, you can handle it and wait. But if it doesn’t, it’s your heart that will give up. Time will come; it’s like a sign that the time will come when you know hands down.”
Just like her.
She is choosing to give me up. She is way too exhausted from her own battle. She’s giving up on me. And that idea hurts me. Just imagining Zara and Enrique away from my life felt miserable.
“Why choose to give up?” I asked. But this is not my question about Giselle. This is a secret question for her, Zara.
“You have to give up because you can’t do it anymore. Not all battles are won. It doesn’t always work that way. There’s a reason why we stumble. See? If I let you go, you’ll be happy; on the other hand, if I touch you, you will be in trouble, me and the child. No offense.”
She is so deep. And her words hit me more deeply. So, she will hand me over? Why am I hurting like this?
Why does imagining her leaving me inflict pain on me? Why am I hurting like this?
“N-None taken.” I still stammered and continued eating even though I had lost my appetite.
“And then Lucas…” She got my attention. “Our son’s birthday is coming up very soon. I hope you will be free on that day…even for the last time.”
My chest felt tight when Zara said it was too late.
“I’ll take care of it. I keep my word, Zara.”
She seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and then smiled at me. Why did I notice her beauty only now?