The Billionaire Mafia’s Slave

CHAPTER 91: I BLAME YOU

LILY’S POV:

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“PAPA!!”, I exclaimed as I abruptly stood up.

“Lily!”, Galina who was in the room called out and came to my side. I couldn’t help the tears that came pouring down, she hugged me and patted my back.

“I ca… can’t Galina, I ju-just can’t”, I said as I sobbed and was gasping for air.

“It’s okay, I’m here. Let it all out”, She said as I continued to cry.

I was so scared of the nightmare I had.

‘But it wasn’t even nighttime yet’, I said to myself.

I can not imagine loosing my dad, he was everything to me and more and I feel so so guilty that I didn’t return to him when I had the chance, it was all my fault.

“I can’t lo… loose my papa”, I sobbed the more.

“And you won’t, he will be fine”, Galina reassured as she enveloped me in a tighter hug.

***

After a while, I had calmed down and stop crying, Galina poured a glass of water for me. I realized I had an IV drip connected to my hand, the previous scenes started playing back in my head.

The phonecall Nikolai had, the news about my dad, the way I reacted and almost fell… then I passing out.

“Where is Nikolai?”, I asked her.

“He stepped out”, She replied and I frowned.

“Where did he go?”.

“He didn’t say, just for me to take care of you… and to call him when you wake up– Oh! That’s right, I better call him now –“, Galina said in realization, she stood up to take out her phone but I stopped her.

“Don’t! Please don’t call him… I-I don’t want to see him, not right now”, I said.

“Why?”, She asked in confusion.

“Just– please, okay?”.

“Okay”, she replied and pouted.

I gave her a faint smile.

I wondered on where Nikolai might have gone to or what he is doing right now. I sighed and rested my head on the pillow, thinking about my dad as the drip slowly tickled down my veins.

‘I hope you are alright papa’, I said to myself, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he… die.

“Do you want me to get you anything?”, I heard Galina say.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you”, I replied.

“Okay… I will just get snacks for myself”, she said and left the room, I peeped at the door and I saw a guard standing by the door.

‘What for?’, I wondered. I let out a tired sigh and closed my eyes to rest.

Even I don’t understand why I wasn’t in the mood of seeing Nikolai. I wanted to hug him tight and him reassuring me everything would be alright but at the same time I needed space, from him.

My mind went back to dream I just had, it was slowly becoming blurry as I couldn’t remember all that happened.

I stayed in bed, waiting for the drip to finish as I was bored. I wanted to reach my dad or speak with the doctor who is looking after him.

‘Did the surgery go well?’, I wondered as I stared at the ceiling.

***

I woke up to Nikolai’s voice, scolding his sister and the guards.

“She has been awake for a while and no one cared to call me?!”, His roared.

I sat up straight, taking a glance at the wall clock, it was 7pm. ‘Wow, I slept for that long’. The IV drip was empty, I tried to take them off when he walked in on me.

“What are you doing Lily?!”, He rushed to my side to stop me.

“It’s empty. I want to take them off”, I replied, avoiding meeting his eyes.

“She asked me not to call you!”, Galina who was behind me defended, mouthing ‘sorry’ to me. Nikolai looked at his sister like she has gone mad then back at me.

“How are you feeling now?”, He whispered softly and my heart soared.

“Much… better”, I said, forcing a smile. I looked at him and took my eyes off his face the next second, I still wasn’t ready to see him and I think he noticed.

“Lily?–“, He started but I cut him off.

“I want to be alone, please”, I quickly said, taking my hand away from his.

He sighed and got up, I thought he was going to walk out of the door but clearly he had other plans.

“Galina?”, He called his sister.

“Hm?”, She replied.

“Can you give us the room”.

“Sure thing brother”, Galina replied and left, closing the door behind her.

“Speak”, Nikolai said, more in a demanding manner.

“About?”, I asked, feigning oblivion. He scoffed and walked closer to me who was still seated on the bed.

“You know what this is about. You are avoiding me and you know I know”, He said. Sometimes, I just hate that he is always right.

I got up from the bed and staggered a bit, Nikolai rushed to my side to assist me and I flinched, avoiding his touch.

“SEE?! You are clearly avoiding me… why?”, He asked, stepping away from me a bit. I closed my eyes and sighed.

“I don’t know”, I responded.

“Oh come off it! You must have a reason for this act of yours!”, He was starting to get agitated.

“But I don’t. I told you I wanted to be left alone but you insisted on staying, so…”, I said, avoiding his gaze.

He didn’t say anything in reply, we were both silent and it wasn’t an awkward one.

“Look at me”, He asked and I shook my head, “Please…”, He whispered and I did, immediately regretting it.

He had this gaze in his eyes like he was unknowingly apologizing for the things he had done in the past, to me… and to my dad.

“No, nope nope NO!”, I yelled, the tears beginning to build up as I walked backwards.

“Lily…”, He called out.

“No! Don’t say anything!”, I palmed both my ears and closed my eyes shut.

“I–“.

“Please Nikolai… please”, I begged.

We were back to being silent, I slowly opened my eyes and looked at him. Nikolai stood there, his eyes accessing my face, his hair was scattered and I could tell he was stressed from his appearance.Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

The dark circles under his eyes were becoming prominent and I just want to envelope him in my arms and kiss his worries away, but…

“Do you blame me?”, He suddenly asked.

“What?”.

“Do you blame me for what happened to your father. You can be honest with me”, He asked again and I regret ever looking at his eyes.

“Nikolai, I–“, I tried to say but I couldn’t find the words.

“It’s okay, it’s all my fault”, He replied and gave out a dry laugh, I felt a lump in my throat.

“No it isn’t–“, I shook my head, saying but he interrupted me.

“It is! If I hadn’t taken you hostage, if I hadn’t kept you away from your father, you would still be with him and maybe… just maybe you wouldn’t be this sad as you would be by his side and you wouldn’t hate me!”, Nikolai said and I gasped in shock.

“Hate you? I do not hate you Nikolai!–“, I said.

“You don’t say it but your eyes and behavior says it all”.

“Nikolai–“.

“You told my sister not to call me when you clearly knew I would want to know about your health, you avoided meeting my eyes and my touch and your voice Lily… your voice is breaking. You blame me for what happen and I blame myself too”, Nikolai explained.

“But I don’t hate you!”, I said.

“But you admit to blaming me, right?”, He asked and when I didn’t reply, he scoffed.

“Why were they guards at the entrance of the room?”, I suddenly asked.

“That isn’t what we are talking about now”, He replied, turning away.

“I want to know”.

“They is nothing to know Lily”, He said.

“Clearly there is something if you don’t want to talk about it!”.

He sighed and nodded.

“Will you be honest with me if I tell you?”, he asked and I furrowed my brows, then nodded.

“It’s Roman…”, He said and I got more confused, “He is responsible for putting your father on that bed”, he concluded.

“W-what?”, I couldn’t understand what he just said.

His brother was the reason my dad is in coma? Roman shot my papa?!

I couldn’t breathe properly, I was gasping for air.

“Do you blame me?”, Nikolai asked again and I didn’t know what to say to him still.

It was true that most of my misfortunes were channeled back to him. He might not be the reason from the starting but he still bought me at that auction house, held me captive and wouldn’t let me go even when I attempted to escape numerous times.

Now his brother is after my dad, obviously because of the rivalry he has with Nikolai, so…

“Yes. I blame you”, I said to him and he pressed his lips in a thin line. His jaw was clenched and so was his fist, his eyes were so dark and I know he was trying to hold his anger in.

Nikolai nodded his head and turned to the door without saying anything, he opened it, walked out and slammed the door making the building shake.

I dropped to the ground and cried my eyes out.