Free
BRIANNA’S POV
I didn’t know what Sebastian wanted to show me. But whatever it is, I know it will go a long way in helping me get through this shit I was stuck in. He was positive it would work. And I believe him with all my heart.
We dressed in bathing robes as he suggested even though I didn’t get why. I was worried the other maids would see us as we made our way out of my room to his room.
I suggested we wait a little and sneak out so they won’t see us. But he assured me they wouldn’t because they had all retired to their quarters and the ones coming from town had gone back already. Fortunately, he was right. I didn’t see anyone of them along the way. Thank goodness. I breathed out in relief knowing that.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org
We entered and Sebastian had me sit on a plush cushioned bench by the leg of the bed while he searched through the drawers of the nightstand for something. I couldn’t wait to see what it was.
As I waited for him, I looked around the room and marvelled as I took in its features. It was bigger, like two or three rooms combined to form one, and way better than mine. Now I get why he and Catherine chose to move out from the one I stayed to this one.
The room featured a large four-poster bed big enough to fit three to four people with rich, velvet drapes, ornate nightstands with candelabras, and walls adorned with historic tapestries. Heavy silk curtains were drawn to cover the expansive windows and a plush rug covered the floor. There was a richly decorated wardrobe by my left and a lavish vanity area just in front of me which must be Catherine’s, but all the jewellery, luxurious perfumes and other toiletries that usually adorned the top of the table were mostly lacking.
“Here,” Sebastian called my attention. “We might want to sit on the floor for this.”
I looked at him and was surprised to see he was holding a candlestick, candle stand, lighter, ashtray, pen and a small notebook.
“Ok…?” My lashed fluttered in confusion, wondering what he wanted to use all that for as I lowered to sit on the floor.
“I know this might seem all weird to you,” he sat directly in front of me and crossed his legs, keeping the stuff he had on him on the floor in front of him. “But trust me, it works like magic. It’s an old habit I used to do whenever I wanted to forget any unpleasant thought or experience. That thing that keeps bugging my mind and won’t let me find peace.”
I watched him closely, curious, as he lit the candle and carefully placed it on the stand, adjusting it until it was just right.
He handed me the pen and a small notebook. “This is where you write down all that thought bothering you.”
Hesitantly, I took it, my head reeling and my breath kicking back as I thought of what to write.
“You don’t need to write something long. Just one word or sentence that summarizes everything will do,” Sebastian urged, watching me in anticipation.
I opened the small note and pressed open the pen to write, but nothing came out. My fingers were trembling and couldn’t form the word I had in mind to write down. It was as if something impaired my ability to think and write.
Tears formed at the back of my eyes. I flickered my eyes severally to hold back the tears, but that only made it worse as the tears stung like bee stings. So I squeezed them close. So tightly they might even go numb. I forced myself to pen down something. Anything! But the more I tried the harder it got.
Sebastian must be waiting. I didn’t want to keep him waiting. I knew he was watching me closely, but I didn’t want to look up at him to see his reaction. I didn’t want him to notice that this was hard for me. Notice I was struggling within myself. But it was too late.
“Brianna…” he sighed and the next thing I knew his huge shadow crossed over to where I sat and settled closely behind me. “I’m here. I’m always here for you. Please don’t be too stubborn and afraid to ask for my help whenever you need it. No matter the situation. No matter the circumstance.”
He embraced me like a thick blanket from the back, using his large hands to cage me in. I revelled in the feeling because in it I felt safe, secure, and less lonely. I felt wanted and above all loved.
He brought his hand over my face, underneath my eyes and used his thumb to scrap the tears that threatened to slip out. “Let me be that hand that wipes away your tears.”
He moved my hair to the side and kissed me on the temple. “Let me be that light that guides you through the darkness.”
He kissed the side of my neck, the tingling sensation causing a shiver to run down my spine and a small smile to light up my gloominess. “For enduring all that painful experience, you’re a strong woman. Even though your strength amazes me, I want to be the one you can lean on, your shelter in every storm.”
Then he held my hand. “Let me be the one to help you pen down that painful experience and help you get rid of it once and for all.”
Under his guidance and support, I managed to write down the two words that haunted me. The two words that were bugging my mind and preventing me from having peace. The two words trying to stop Sebastian and I’s love boat from sailing smoothly. HERMES COSTIN
After that, I tore out the piece of paper from the notebook. Sebastian guided my hand as I put it on the flame and watched it burn.
“Focus on the flame,” Sebastian whispered in my ear, his breath warm against the tender skin there. “As that piece of paper, those two words burns, open your mind and heart so those experiences and thoughts burn along with it.”
I did as he said, taking in a deep breath as though this was a very crucial moment in my life. And yes…it was a very crucial moment in my life. Tonight, I will be rid of Hermes and all those painful, traumatic thoughts he put me through. Tonight, I will be free. I will be again.
I focused on the paper as it burned in the flame. When it was almost done, Sebastian motioned for me to throw it into the ashtray which I did. There it burned till it was ash. At that instant, I felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off me. I felt as light as a feather, renewed and…. free!
I blew out the candle and faced Sebastian, falling into him as tears of joy streamed down my face, my heart overflowing with love and gratitude. “You were right. As simple and strange as it is, it worked. I feel…new. I’m free now. Thank you.”
I closed my eyes and revelled in the hardness and warmth of his body. It’s getting to two months. Everything about Catherine has subsided and things that reminded me of her all taken away. Like a stubborn stain, Hermes has finally been washed off my life for good. Nothing was stopping Sebastian and I from being together now.