Surrender Your Sensations

“How are you? I hope you’re doing fine there. Please, be happy wherever you are.”

I was standing beside Rupert as he talked to Ava. He was sitting on the grass opposite its tomb. After finding out that he was the same man I called an asshole a year ago, he asked me to stay for a while- because he was supposed to talk to Ava.

And so, here we are.

I was watching him as he talked to his first love. In my hand, I was holding a bunch of roses.

“I want you to meet her.” Rupert turned to look at me. I was not sure if he’s grinning or what. But when he stood next to me and held my hand tightly, I couldn’t help but smile. “She’s Meredith Kaye Santiago, the woman I will marry and will spend the rest of my life with. Isn’t she beautiful? She’s also an inspiring woman and she’s a fighter. I’m actually proud of her. I love her so much , Ava. ”

My mouth dropped open at what Rupert was saying. When he raised my hand and pointed at the ring on my finger as if showing it off to his first love made me feel giddy and really happy. “I bought her a ring and then asked her if she would like to marry me. I was never so sure not until that day I bought the ring.” Rupert kissed the back of my hand and then wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Ava, I could not love any other woman the same way I loved you, that’s for sure. But another thing that I know is that,” Rupert pulled me closer and then kissed my temple, “I love Meredith more than I loved you. Thank you for being part of my life. But this is me saying my final goodbye, Ava. From now on, my life is reserved for the woman I will marry.”

“Rupert …”

“We’re still friends, aren’t we? Can I make a request from you? Consider this request as your wedding gift.”

I bit my bottom lip when Rupert heaved a deep sigh and then he looked at the bright blue sky above us. “Please, help my wife to win against her cancer. I-I still want to be with her longer. Please … Take care of her from there. I don’t know what will happen to me if I lose her.”

My arms wrapped around Rupert’s waist. I buried my face on his chest. Hearing someone saying he wanted you to live longer- was soothing and painful at the same time.

“I’ll fight, Rupert. I’ll try to win again,” I said before I looked up at the sky too. It was so bright and blue. When will my life become calm and peaceful like this sky?

***

“Mavia! What do you like to say to Mommy?”

My eyes widened in shock when Rupert put our daughter on-the-spot. I slapped his arm for what he did.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

Mavia Nanna Santos, our twelve-year-old daughter, was stunned for a while before she took the microphone that Rupert gave her. Mavia was wearing a beautiful pink silk dress reaching her knees. She has a flower crown on her head and a small flower corsage on her right wrist. Her long hair reaching her waist was in soft curls.

I smiled when I felt her looking at me. Rupert and I held hands as we looked at our daughter who was in the first row of seats.

“You don’t have to say a word if you don’t like, Mavia,” I said because I knew how shy my daughter was. I gave Rupert a deadly glare before pinching his side for what he did. “Stop forcing her,” I scolded him.

“I didn’t force her to speak today at the reception,” Rupert said before he kissed my cheek. Our guests laughed. “Mavia asked me for this favor. She volunteered.”

I looked at my husband in disbelief. He’s no longer wearing his piercing since he entered medical school. The shiny thing on his face was gone but I no longer need that to recognize him. I just knew everything about him- because I knew him by heart. I bet he looked dashing in this all-white tuxedo he wore for our church wedding.

“Mavia wanted to speak in front of these people?” I looked around at everyone- whose gazes were all at my daughter.

Today is my church wedding. And right now, approximately, there were almost a hundred people at this wedding reception. Mavia was never comfortable in front of a crowd. So I looked at her with so much worry.

Rupert caressed my back to calm me. He then whispered, “Our daughter seems quiet and timid but she loves you so much,” Then he wrapped his arm around my waist. He even adjusted the hem of my dress for this reception when I almost stepped on it. We both looked at our daughter who was standing there, holding the microphone, and heaving deep sighs.

Rupert kissed my temple before he whispered again, “I think Mavia is going to have a panic attack. I shouldn’t have consented in her favor.”

“You know that Mavia fears attention and-”

I was lost for words when Mavia finally opened her lips and said the first four words that really warmed my heart.

“I love you mom.” She was holding the microphone tightly as she kept herself standing.

For five years since Rupert and I adopted Mavia- this was the first time she said those words.

Rupert’s grip tightened around my waist. My eyes dimmed with tears. I was so happy and thankful that I was able to still become a mother after all the things I went through.

“I love you, Dad,” Mavia continued before she reached for something on the table in front of her. It was a paper- No. Probably a letter.

I leaned my head on Rupert’s shoulder and together we listened to Mavia’s message. I know it took a lot of effort and energy from her to stand in front of these people and give us a message.

“I-I love you two. Thank you for considering me like I am your biological child. Thank you for keeping me away from all the sadness and difficulties. Thank you for protecting me and loving me.” Mavia folded the paper and I thought she was done with her speech but- “At first, I didn’t want to get adopted because I thought you would be like the last couple who adopted me. I was afraid I’d be hurt again. I was afraid I was not the child you dreamed of having.”

No, Mavia. You saved me from drowning in my depression and my loneliness. If I hadn’t met her five years ago – maybe even if I had recovered from my cancer, I still wouldn’t be happy. I felt so incomplete back then. I removed my breasts and it’s difficult for me to get pregnant because of the cancer treatment I underwent and the mastectomy.

Not until Rupert brought me to an orphanage. He said we could adopt. It was a hard decision. Part of me felt guilty for not being a capable wife to give Rupert a child. But he assured me and that’s why we ended up at the Sweet Smile Orphanage where we found Mavia- a seven-year-old girl who was so shy- and aloof. She experienced slavery and abuse from her previous adoptive parents.

And when I saw her that day- I just knew.

” Hi. What’s your name?”

“I don’t want to be adopted. I-I want to grow old here.”

I smiled at that little memory that flashed in my head. It has been exactly five years since I recovered from cancer. And it was also five years since Rupert and I became Mavia’s parents.

“I don’t know if you regret that you adopted me then,” she chuckled and the whole crowd laughed as well, “but I don’t regret that I bet on you and got adopted by the two of you. You are my dream parents. Thank you for continuing showering with love; for loving Loki and I like we are your own children.”

My gaze went to the ten-year-old boy sitting beside Mavia’s seat. Loki was another adopted child. Rupert took him to me after he was left by his own mother in the hospital where Rupert was working as a resident doctor.

We both decided to adopt him as well. Unlike Mavia, Loki was the extroverted one. He was always playful and full of energy.

“I love you too, Mom and Dad! The food here at your reception are all delicious!” My boy giggled.

“Oh gosh, Loki! Stop ruining everything!”

The whole reception hall burst into laughter when my two children got into an argument. Well, Loki always knows how to crack Mavia’s always composed self. Because of his playful quirks, the frown on her sister’s face disappears.

“Our children are beautiful,” Rupert said, which made me look at him.

I smiled before I leaned forward and kissed his chin. “You raised them well, Dr. Santos.”

“No. You are the best mother for taking care of them so well, Mrs. Santos.”

I smiled. I wrapped my arms around his waist. I lost track of the guests watching us. I kissed him on the lips. “How about as a wife? Do I meet your expectations?”

He swallowed before he pulled my body closer to him. “You’re the best wife. So, I won’t let you rest later on our honeymoon.”

“Get a room guys!”

I turned to one who shouted. No other than my dear best friend, Bailey.

That’s when I realized that the microphone was near Rupert’s mouth and the crowd heard what he said.

“Rupert Santos!” I slapped him on the shoulder out of embarrassment.

He hugged me before bringing the microphone back to him. “My wife and I are really going on a honeymoon, Bailey, because we just got married!” Rupert said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“There are kids, Rupert!” I scolded him.

“Of course. Forgive me, my wife.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Crazy for You.”