Strings of Fate

Strings of Fate

Cam 53- Footsteps and fret

It takes me three nights to be sure. But I am now completely convinced. Every night when I’m walking home from work, Harry is secretly following me, hiding in shadows and behind bushes and buildings whenever I turn around. At first I was concerned, I thought I had somehow picked up another stalker. I was constantly hearing footsteps behind me that paused whenever I did. Occasionally I could catch the sound of rustling bushes or someone else breathing. I was a little afraid that Simon had somehow been released. I even give the police a call during the day to check that he hasn’t been released and that I don’t need to

worry about him. They assure me that he won’t be getting out anytime soon and a super sweet lady promises to give me a call if that should change at any point. I start paying more and more attention to every little detail on my way home trying to figure out what is going on. I feel a little silly about it, what are the actual chances of me picking up a second stalker

in only a couple weeks? I know I’m probably just being paranoid but I can’t help myself. Still, when I start to pay attention it becomes pretty clear that I’m not insane and that it has to be Harry following me. I recognise the pace of his footsteps and on the third night he must have forgotten to turn his phone to silent because I hear his phone ringing and I recognise the sound. I’m elated to find that he’s taken an interest in me again, but I don’t understand why he’s following me in secret. What is he trying to accomplish? Is he planning to just secretly

follow me around for the rest of our lives and never talk to me? Does he really think I don’t

know? He really isn’t that great at being quiet or sneaky and he definitely draws attention. Occasionally he even gets close enough that I start feeling hints of his magic which leaves me feeling lonelier than

ever. If that’s how he’s feeling, why doesn’t he just DO something about it? I’ve made it clear that I want to talk to him, that I’m waiting for him to approach me.

On the fifth night of Harry following me and saying nothing, I decide it’s time to do → something about it. I power walk the whole way home and I can hear Harry’s footsteps

behind me as he rushes to keep up with me. Completely sure that he’s followed me the whole way, I stop on my doorstep and drop myself down to sit on the steps, stubbornly sticking out

my chin and folding my hands into my lap.

“I know you’re out there Harry! I don’t know what you’re doing but since apparently neither of us is willing to leave the other alone, I’m going to sit out here and wait. When you’re ready. to talk, I’d like it if you would come join me, but in the meantime I’m going to talk to you.” I pause a moment to give him a chance to step out from wherever he’s hiding and join me. He chooses to stay

so I continue my one–sided conversation. hidden

04:

Cam 53- Footsteps and fret

“I know I screwed up, and I really do regret it. You’re right that I didn’t trust you and that I had one foot out of this relationship the entire time. I was ready to run and expecting things to end. But I won’t do that anymore. I’ve made up my mind and there’s no one more stubborn than I am. I even convinced my mother to give you a chance when you’re ready to deal with her. My grandmother might take a little more convincing but I’ll have to work on that.” I take a deep breath.

+1

“I’m getting off topic. What I’m trying to say is I’m sorry. I messed up and I can’t undo that.

But I would like to try and move on. I’m going to make more of an effort from now on. I’ve been trying to learn more about your magic and I’ve realised that we probably should have discussed it ages ago. It probably would have made things a lot less confusing for both of us. I should also admit that if I’m completely honest, I’ve been struggling not to just throw myself at you since day one.” I blush red but I push on. This might be the only chance I get to have him hear what I have to say. It’s actually a little easier to get the words out when I can’t see how he’s reacting, although it would be a relief if he could give some indication that he’s actually listening.

“At first I resisted you because I didn’t know you. I thought you were just some strange guy who was determined to pick up the annoying and resistant bartender. Then I got to know you and I just… I couldn’t. I didn’t want to ruin things and I got scared. I really regret that now. I regret telling Cora our relationship was fake too. It wasn’t fake and it never was, I don’t think she even believed it. I was trying to convince myself that it wasn’t a big deal and that I didn’t

care because if I care then it’s going to hurt a lot more when you leave. But it’s too late for

that. I already know that you leaving will devastate me. I already know that I don’t want to give up on us. I also know I don’t really have a choice in how you react.” I sit quietly, hoping for a response but I get nothing. I let out a frustrated groan.

“I don’t know what I’m even doing. I don’t know how to fix this or what to do to get you to forgive me. I’m worried that if things keep going like this I’m going to end up like Simon. Stalking and harassing someone who wants nothing to do with me and refusing to take the hint. So… I guess that’s it. That’s what I have to say. I mean, there is plenty more but I don’t even know if you want to hear it. The most important thing I need you to hear is that I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll leave you alone now. I don’t want to make you hate me, assuming you don’t hate me already. I don’t think I could live like that. So I’m taking it back. I won’t sit here until you are forced to listen. I don’t want to force you to do anything. I’ll go and let

you be.” I get to my feet and brush the back of my pants off. I hesitate at the door and fiddle with my keys. The sound of them clinking together feels incredibly loud.

Bo

sadly and add one last comment.

“And I’ll ask you one last time. What are you going to ask me tonight?” I unlock my door and I’m about to swing it open when footsteps behind me have me whirling around. Harry is standing at the bottom of my steps. He looks exhausted and miserable. He is wearing at hoodie and has it pulled up over his head, like he’s trying to hide himself away. He has his arms wrapped around himself in what I imagine is meant to be a self comforting motion. I stare at him, waiting for him to say something, anything. His arms drop to his sides and he

stares at his feet.

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