Saving Grace

Joshua stood at the scrub sink and began scrubbing his hands with a scrub brush, all the way to his elbow. He had been in and out of the operating room for the past three days. His eyes were bulging out of their sockets and his neck was longer. He barely ate and he simply resorted to soft drinks and snacks instead to fill his belly. He thought about Grace, he wondered how she was doing. He smiled to himself and was eager about seeing her. He then heard a cough and he instantly turned his head sideways.

With a bright smile, he greeted Helen, “Hello Doctor.”

“Why are you smiling after three long days in the operation room?” Helen wondered while turning on the tap and then began scrubbing her hands clean.

“I enjoyed operating on my patients.” Joshua joked.

“That’s a lie. I can see it through your eyes.” Helen retorted.

“It’s a secret. ” Joshua simply responded.

“You know how much I hate secrets. Spill it. ” Helen tried to persuade as she turned off the tap.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

Joshua placed his wet hands into his pocket and sighed before replying, “Then it won’t be a secret. I have to go now. Catch you later. ”

Before he could walk away, Helen grabbed his arm and he glared at her.

“You haven’t eaten anything sensible in days, get something to eat before doing anything. I am scared for your health. ” Helen argued.

“Why don’t you go rest? Your eye bags are very visible. It doesn’t look good on you, thank you for your concern. ” Joshua flashed a smile at her.

“Thank you, Joshua.” Helen replied with a smile.

“You are welcome.” Joshua stretched out and yawned. He walked faster and quicker. He longed deeply to see Grace and he was glad that he was finally seeing her after three days.

As he reached the last hallway that led towards Grace’s room. He then realized that he was still dressed in his scrubs. He then contemplated within himself on whether to change or just let it be. With a quick nod of his head, he strode towards her room.

He opened it without knocking and his heart fluttered when he set his eyes on Grace. She was deeply immersed in a magazine, her pretty eyes fixed on what she was reading. Her skin was radiant and she looked more beautiful.

He cleared his throat and Grace looked up from the magazine and gave off a shy smile.

“Hello Babe!” Joshua greeted, sitting down on the bed.

“Babe?” Grace tried to hold back a laugh.

“Do you prefer baby doll or princess then?” Joshua winked.

“I prefer none. Just call me Grace.” She replied with a smile.

“That’s too bad because I have a lot of sexy names for you.” Joshua laughed.

“It seems you are in a great mood. How was your day?” Grace asked warmly.

“My day was very good, it was better than the past two days. I operated on five patients and they were really critical.” Joshua stated with a smile.

“Wow, you did well.” Grace gave him a thumbs up.

“Two patients died on the operating table.” Joshua suddenly stated with a frown.

“That’s bad. That’s really sad.” Grace muttered with a sigh.

“But how come you are taking it so well?” Grace enquired.

“Well, there were numerous times I operated on patients and they died on the operating table, I cried and begged for them to come back because I already promised their families that I’ll do my best. Then I realized that I actually did my best. I have learnt to take it, the way it is.” Joshua responded sadly.

To lighten up the mood, Joshua changed the topic, “Did you know that Namjachingu is a Korean word that when translated to english means boyfriend?”

“W–What?” Grace nearly choked on her saliva.

“Yeah.” Joshua nodded.

“I made a mistake. I meant to say Oppa.” Grace widened her smile.

“And what does that mean?” Joshua placed his left hand on his chin.

“It means elder brother, well it means brother actually.” Grace shook her head slightly.

“I refuse to be called by that name. ” Joshua retorted dramatically.

He then watched as Grace suddenly broke into a big laugh.

“It seems that you are enjoying our date.” Joshua threw her a playful wink.

“Date? You never asked me out on a date with you.” Grace looked at him with a confused expression.

“It’s old school to ask. We aren’t teenagers, we’re adults.” Joshua spelt out.

“But it’s romantic to ask. Women like that” Grace then winked at him.

Joshua sighed and gritted his teeth.

“I find it embarrassing to ask but would you go out on a date with me?” Joshua asked with an outstretched arm.

“Yes, I would love to go out on a date with you.” Grace answered, placing her hand on his palm.

“But where exactly are we going to for our date?” Grace inquired excitedly.

Joshua chuckled before replying, “We are actually staying here for our date. I would be here till 7pm.”

“Really? You would stay here till 7pm? Grace wanted to confirm his statement.

“Yes.” Joshua nodded.

“But I want to know everything about you, I want to know who you are, Grace.” Joshua finalized, urging her with a smile.

********

Grace exhaled deeply and looked at Joshua. She searched his eyes and saw compassion. She missed him for the past three days and from his eyes, she could see how stressed he was. But he still wanted to talk, he still wanted to know more about her.

“Well, you know my name already. My father died when I was thirteen. I have a mum and a younger sibling, her name is Sarah.” Grace began and gulped.

Joshua gave her signals with his eyes, begging her to continue.

“Well, I enjoyed running with my father from when I was five and I wished to be an althete. The thrill I feel when the wind makes contact with my face is overwhelming and wonderful. Althetes like Usain Bolt, Allyson Felix, Justin Gatlin really motivated me emotionally. I really wanted to be an althete even though my mother disapproved of it. So I left home.”

“I met Tom, who was a trainer and I decided to work with him. He trained me on my weaknesses and I fell in love with him.” Grace swallowed her saliva and stopped talking.

“I am not jealous, he’s your ex so I am not really bothered.” Joshua laughed which gave Grace the willingness to continue.

“But what I realize now is that Tom never really pushed me to my limit, after every run or jog. He was simply content with it. But what if he was right? What if I was just chasing a childish dream?” Grace shot Joshua a glance.

“Well, from what I have heard from you. I think you would have made a great athlete with your strong determination.” Joshua answered.

“Really?” Grace smiled.

“Yeah.” Joshua affirmed.

“Thank you!” The smile on her face grew wider.

“Then tell me about yourself.” Grace asked him.

“You want me to talk about myself?” Joshua wanted to confirm.

“Yes.” Grace nodded.

“Then be prepared to cry.” Joshua stated with a straight face.

“What?” Grace’s face fell.

“You are going to cry when I talk about myself because to be honest, it was simply hell on earth.” Joshua frowned and bent his head.

“Okay.” Grace muttered.

“Where do I start from? My name is Joshua Rogers and I am so good-looking.” Joshua winked but noticed that Grace wasn’t laughing.

“I was twelve when my parents died. I ran home from school and saw an ambulance and some pretty cool police cars. The house looked like it was set on fire. I thought someone broke into the house until I saw my parents being wheeled out, I could barely recognize them.” Joshua began.

“Why couldn’t you recognize them?” Grace asked, lifting her neck.

“They were burnt, nearly to ashes.” Joshua replied, tearing his gaze away from Grace.

“So they died from a fire accident?” Grace pressed further.

“Yeah.” Joshua sniffed.

“I am so sorry about that.” Grace placed her hand on his and Joshua turned and looked at her with tear stricken eyes.

“That’s when I decided to be a doctor. ” Joshua wiped the tears that escaped from his eyes.

Grace felt emotions rush into her veins as she watched the walls that held Joshua collapse.

Impulsively, Grace leaned forward and pressed her dry lips to his. The start of the soft touch sent a strong feeling of warmth spiraling through her system. Her eyes closed fearlessly, but the closure didn’t let her see darkness, it instead created colours of fondness. Her tense nerves soon began to relax, her troubles, her pain began to melt away and the surroundings began to disappear leaving only her and Joshua. This felt true. This felt good. This felt right.

His lips felt so gentle so warm, she felt her hand begin to slide up his chest and encircle his neck, as the kiss began to grow heavy. His cold lips brushed against hers as he tugged her closer. She pressed her hand against his sculpted chest, relishing the firm, hard muscle. Nestling closer, she listened for his heartbeat. It was there, that thunderous, rapid pounding that made her giggle with amusement.

Her frozen breath mingled with his as they stared at each other, both, a little unsteady. Desire and hunger glowed in his amber eyes while he held her against him. She drew her tongue over his teeth and swallowed his groan of pleasure as they slid closer to each other, no visible gap between them. A kiss like this was a beginning, a promise of much more to come.

“Sally.” Joshua whispered slowly.

Grace broke away from the kiss, shocked by the name he said and she slapped him across the face instantly.

“What was that for?” Joshua cried while holding his cheek.

“Who’s Sally? You mentioned Sally when we kissed.” Grace spat with rage engulfing her.

“I can’t tell you.” Joshua sighed.

“She’s your girlfriend? Are you using me as your side chick?” Grace rambled on and on. She felt used and cheap all of a sudden and his silence wasn’t helping either.

“I can’t tell you.” Joshua repeated, his voice a little louder.

“I thought you were different, I wanted to give you a chance but now I see that men are all the same. You are all idiots and birdbrains.” Grace yelled at him.

It felt like minutes as Joshua simply rotated his head and rubbed his left palm against the other.

“You don’t want to talk, I–” Grace began but was interrupted.

“Sally was my wife. ” he confessed and looked at the floor.

Grace was stunned. He was married. How did she not notice? He looked vibrant and single from the way he talked and flirted with her.

“You are divorced?” Grace asked.

“No, she’s dead.” Joshua whispered.

“I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Grace replied, placing a hand on her forehead.

“I was married with a daughter.” Joshua began.

Grace’s face fell on realizing that he had a child.

“Her name was Leah, she was so beautiful and bubbly. She’s also dead.” Joshua blurted out.

“Oh!” was all Grace could say.

“Sally wanted to travel with Leah to Florida. I…. told her that Leah was too young, she just clocked two for goodness’s sake. But Sally was stubborn and there was really nothing I could do about it. I was on a night shift in the hospital when ambulances started blaring from the hospital parking space. I was chatting with my colleagues when patients were brought into the emergency unit. I wondered what was going on and decided to go to the reception room. I looked at the news on the TV and it stated that a bomb explosion happened at Florida and many lives were claimed.” Joshua started, his voice breaking.

“My heart felt heavy for the victims, Grace. Then…” he blinked back the stinging tears. He’d gone past all the tears but he could never get over them. “Then…then, two nurses came rushing towards me wheeling in two stretchers covered with a white cloth. I didn’t think it’d be her until one hand fell out. Christ, her nail polish. It had been Sally’s favorite. I told them to stop…I opened the white cloth covering the patient and I felt my heart stop beating, then I walked over to the next patient. The patient looked so small from the outline of the cloth and it sparked a sense of fear into my head. The moment I opened it, I felt my entire world crashing beneath me. Leah…my baby, she.. was lying there, looking so lifeless. She still had the bracelet I got her for her one year old birthday. Leah never got to go to kingarten. ” he pinched the corners of his eyes. “I hate myself for letting them go. If they didn’t, they’d never have gotten killed in a bomb explosion.”

“Ever since then, it felt hard for me to treat a patient. I nearly killed a patient who needed a minor surgery due to lack of concentration. I was dismissed for a month. But it didn’t make me feel better. Everyday, I woke up to see the other side of my bed empty. My daughter’s room was silent and lifeless. I was a doctor but I didn’t even have the chance to save my family.” Joshua finally concluded.

“I don’t know what to say. You have lost so much.” Grace muttered with a sigh.

“Then now, you should realize that you really haven’t lost so much, Grace. You are alive and you should be grateful for that.” Joshua told her, his face still straight and without emotion.

“But I can’t walk.” Grace chuckled bitterly.

“Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect.” Joshua shook his head slightly,”We are the same, Grace. We are both injured by circumstances in our lives.”

“It’s okay, Joshua. Let it go.” Grace assured. She could see his shoulders trembling for support and his eyes were wet with tears.

And at that moment, Joshua wrapped his arms around Grace and placed his head in the crook of her neck and began sobbing like a child. The tears that refused to rush down for the last eight months finally gushed down like a river. Grace felt glad that he told her everything about himself. She patted him gently on the back and muttered words of encouragement into his ear.

********

Helen leaned against the door and shut her eyes briefly. She found out Joshua’s location from a nurse and decided to check up on him. She was disappointed that he went to see a patient, the patient that called him an asshole. She knew instantly that Joshua liked Grace.

She then peeped into the room and her eyes widened in shock. Joshua was crying on Grace’s neck.

She tore her gaze away from the scenario and then leaned against the wall. Her eyes were already bringing out water and she wiped them quickly as they came. She couldn’t believe it. Joshua was ready to move on but it wasn’t her that he wanted. She had waited months, planned on how to capture his heart but still Joshua didn’t like her.

What did Joshua see in Grace that he couldn’t see in her? She had been best friends with him for almost twelve years. But he had only known Grace for two weeks and he already liked her.

Helen bit her bottom lip and forced herself not to cry aloud. She tangled her fingers into her hair and closed her eyes. This wasn’t what she expected. Grace couldn’t walk but Joshua still liked her regardless of that.

With a sharp exhale, Helen turned on her heels and began walking, she walked in slow motion. It was as if the world was non existent to her. Nothing mattered to her except Joshua and he was now stripped away from her.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she reached for it quickly. With a quick glance at the caller ID, she slid the accept button.

“I need you, I need sex now!” Helen whispered into the phone.