Remember Self-Control: Bossy Husband Loves Me Deep to Soul

Proofread by He Li

Gong Siming stares at the glass in his hand. A haze of steaming spreads out, making his eyesight unclear to others; but the glance from the corner of his eyes from time to time focuses on Si Wan who is not far away. The more happily she smiles, the gloomier his sight becomes, and his hand which is holding the glass also turns white gradually.

Si Wan suddenly feels horrified somehow with her flesh creeping and her shoulders trembling. Seeing this, Mu Zhishen quickly takes off his coat and puts it around her, “Feeling cold?”

She shakes her head in embarrassment, “No, it’s just a little…creepy.”

The restaurant is air-conditioned, and Si Wan only wears a sleeveless chiffon dress. So even if she feels cold, it’s normal. Mu Zhishen presses down her hands which are taking off his coat and says in a soft voice, “You can wear it for now and give it back when we leave.”

When Mu Zhishen is gentle to somebody, it is just like the spring breeze fondling one’s face, poised but skillful. In fact, it is very difficult for others to refuse his favor.

Si Wan smiles elegantly, “Boss Mu, you are really gentle, no wonder so many girls are dying for marrying you.”

“Wanwan, I think we are already friends, why are you always calling me Boss Mu.” Mu Zhishen hangs his lips and shakes his head slightly, “My younger school sister, you are really hurtful.”Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

Mu Zhishen and Si Wan once studied in the same university, since then he has been attached to Si Wan.

But at that time, Si Wan only liked Gong Siming. Mu Zhishen knew a lot about Si Wan, but Si Wan had no idea about this.

Possibly she just considered him as one of her pursuers.

Therefore, after refusing his love, she keeps distance with him consciously or unconsciously.

Si Wan smiles a little awkwardly, maintaining her composure; she avoids the topic and jokes: “Is there anything wrong if I call you Boss Mu?”

Mu Zhishen knits his brows and ceases his smile, putting down his glass, and he asks Si Wan seriously, “Wanwan, two years are nearly over, when the day comes, what are you planning to do?”

Si Wan is stunned, raising her head abruptly and asking, “What…what did you say?”

Slightly resting his chin in his hand, Mu Zhishen replies with a casual air, “Wanwan, my attention on you, is far beyond your imagination.

Mu Zhishen looks straightly in her eyes, as if he knows everything about her. Therefore, Si Wan gives up her intention to make up a lie. A bitter smile appears on her face, “Time flies. I have been married to him… for two years.”

Time flies!

At the very beginning, Si Wan accepted the requirement of the grandfather of the Gong Family to marry Gong Siming. At that time, although she liked Gong Siming, he could not be forced by her due to his position.

But because of his poor health, the grandfather strongly urged her to keep her marriage with Gong Simingfor two years. If two years later Gong Siming still doesn’t change his attitude towards Si Wan, she is allowed to leave.

“Wanwan?” Seeing her being stunned, Mu Zhishen calls her softly, with his worried eyesight.

Si Wan turns her head, and the side of her soft face shines in the sun. “When it’s over… I might choose to go abroad. I have been focusing on one specific person for so many years, which makes me almost lost. I want to go abroad to enrich myself.”

She will pick up what she has given up for Gong Siming, one by one after losing him forever.

Mu Zhishen’s eyes turn dimmed, “Wanwan, have you ever considered…me? If I would like to go abroad with you…”

Si Wan shakes her head immediately, “Mu Zhishen, it is meaningless to do this.” Her sight looks mild but firm, “I don’t like you, so you don’t have to sacrifice for me.”

In Si Wan’s life, possibly there is only one Gong Siming who can make her flinch and be swayed by consideration of gain and loss. While in face of others, she is usually as merciless as the autumn wind sweeping away the withered leaves, even when refusing others, she can be decisive and straight, just the same as before.

Seeing her dark eye circles, Mu Zhishen suddenly feels not reconciled, “Wanwan, Gong Siming flirts with so many women every day and insults you mercilessly, why don’t you give up?

Si Wan puts her glass down without saying one word, but in this way she expresses her persistence silently.

Mu Zhishen forces a bitter smile and leans back in disappointment, “Since you love him so much, why don’t you explain to him…Feng Ling’s accident, had nothing to do with you.”

“Mu Zhishen, how can I explain?” Si Wan looks at him with gloomy eyes and opens her mouth, “It was really I who collided into Feng Ling and made her in coma. Gong Siming does hate me, but I don’t blame him for that.”

At that time when her engagement with Gong Siming was announced, Feng Ling immediately made arrangements to meet her, and she originally wanted to explain her appointment with grandfather during their meeting.

But she didn’t expect that on the way to meet Feng Ling, her car could be out of control and collided into Feng Ling straightly.

During the past two years, she has been immersed in the strong guilty emotion, like being trapped in the shackles. Despite her full heart and deep love for Gong Siming, when thinking about Feng Ling, she will only tell herself in the heart, “Si Wan, you don’t deserve his forgiveness and love.”

As Feng Ling is the true love of Gong Siming, she won’t blame Gong Siming for hating her, instead she only feels sad.

Mu Zhishen’s throat chokes for a while, and suddenly he kinds of begins to sympathize her, “Wanwan, actually you …don’t have to live so hard.”

He tries to hold Si Wan’s hands, but is calmly refused by her. Si Wan smiles at him, “Mu Zhishen, I really want to say ‘thank you’ for your help and fondness in so many years. But…everyone knows the truth that love cannot be forced. I can’t offer what you want.”

“It can be regarded as the punishment from God.” Standing up, Si Wan takes a deep breath and exposes a bitter smile, “I am so stubborn that probably I will only love Gong Simingin my whole life, no matter how he treats me. When the day comes, I can leave the Gong Family and never see him again. But here…”

Putting one of her hands on her heart, Si Wan says piously and affectionately, “Is already taken up by Gong Siming, leaving no space for others…”

Raising her glass, Si Wan drinks all of the wine, “Mu Zhishen, I am so sorry.”

The silent atmosphere spreads between the two. Holding the glass in her hand, Si Wan suddenly knows nothing to say to ease the embarrassment despite her eloquence while doing business.

But Mu Zhishen and Si Wan do not know that after Si Wan’s bold declaration of love, a figure in the dark turns stiff at once. He cannot walk out to make trouble any more. After a moment, he just turns around and leaves…

Embarrassment and silence get in everywhere like light, shadow and dust. Si Wan fills the glass with wine again, and then she smiles, “Mu Zhishen, let’s drink.”

She is prepared to drink three glasses of wine in succession, to show her apology.

Standing up abruptly, Mu Zhishen presses her hand down and takes the glass away from her and replies in a relaxed tone, “What are you doing? It is not the first time that you reject me. I am already accustomed to this, Wanwan…

Hiding his affection and heartache silently, he smiles like a flower blossoming in the field, “I will always stand by your side.”

There is a flicker across Si Wan’s eyes, in which the guilt and powerlessness are covered by her downcast eyelashes. She heaves a slight sigh.

“Mu Zhishen, sorry.”