One More Chance

~~~I remember the days when you're here with me. Those laughters and tears we shared for years. Mem'ries that we had for so long, it's me and you. Now you're gone away, you left me all alone. Go on, do what you want, but please don't leave me you'll break my heart.

Hey, what should I do, babe I'm missing you? Please don't disappear these are the words that you should hear~~~

-Rockstar-

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I don't know how long I have been crying silently on the terrace until I felt a soft pair of arm embraced me from behind and I don't have to ask who it was. I know it's Jack.

She didn't speak, nor uttered a single word. She just tightened her hug as I started to cry again.

"Haist... when do you plan to stop crying?" She asked after a few minutes hugging me from behind. "My hands are getting numb, you know."novelbin

I couldn't help but chuckled as I wiped my tears.

"Finally!" She exclaimed, getting the other chair and sat down across my seat.

I looked at her, trying to smile but it turned out into sobs.

"Sam..." She took my hand that was resting on top of the table.

"Aren't you going to ask me what happened?" I asked her sniffing, but to my surprise, she shook her head.

"Nope, I don't have to because, judging from the amount of tears you shed and just by looking how miserable you are right now, I guess I already knew what happened."

I wiped my cheeks, pouting and fell into silence.

"So, what are your plans now?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Honestly, I'm confused and scared at the same time."

"You're confused---well, I kinda get it, but scared? What are you scared of?"

"Have you ever loved two people at the same time? Have you ever had to choose which of them you love more and leave the other? What if you make a wrong choice and in the end, you'll realize that the one you truly love is the one you didn't choose? Will you go back to the one you left or be forced to be happy with the person you chose?"

"Whoa!" She exclaimed in shock, repeatedly blinking her eyes. "I'm not sure what to say but---my answer to your first question is no. I haven't fallen in love yet, what more for two people at the same time---jeez!"

"Jack, I'm serious! I'm having a hard time deciding."

She stared at me but then chuckled after a while.

"Fine." She sighed. "But let me ask you first, what are you really afraid of, that you'll make a wrong choice? Decision? Why, does the feelings you have for them the same? If no, then why are you having a hard time?"

I don't know how long I fell into silence.

"You know what, I think you're no longer confused. Do you know what to call on what you feel right now? Guilty. You're being guilty of the situation and not confused, especially that you had to let go of David because of the feelings you still have for Luke." "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm guilty and it's so hard to bear. I feel guilty so I'm having a hard time choosing and because I feel like what Luke did to me in the past, I'm doing it now to David."

"Hey, you're not like Luke and it's a different story!"

"No, it is, Jack. I never really moved on and I feel like I just used David to forget him. And you're right when you told me that I'm just being drawn away by the things that David was giving me, those things that Luke hadn't given me back then."

"If that so, then what stopping you from following your heart's desire?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Maybe I'm not yet ready."

"Well, if I happened to be in that situation, I think I won't choose either one of them."

"Huh? But why?" I frowned as I got confused by what she said.

"Hmm... I won't choose either one of them because this time, I would choose myself."

My frown got deeper as I lost for words. It seemed that I understand what she said but I don't.

"What I mean to say is that I will choose myself. This time, it's me first who I'll give a chance and priority and not him, not them, not other people but for myself. Do you get it?"

I shook my head, biting my bottom lip.

"Haist!" She huffed, rolling her eyes.

"If you choose David, you're not going to be fair and true to yourself because you know that your heart truly desires is Luke, but if you choose Luke, you will continue being guilty because you let go of the man who treated you like a queen and loved you more than himself. Plus, if you choose Luke, you can't be sure if the past won't bother you any more, especially that you haven't moved on and haven't forgiven him for what he did and not to mention, you can't even sure if the love you have is sweeter the second time around."

She shrugged, staring at me as she waited for my reaction, but I gave none.

"So since you're confused about your feelings and not sure of your decision, why don't you give yourself time? Time to think... time to

velvet

decide... time to choose... time to be free

for a

a while... and time to be yourself again. Because it's

been

a

long since you think of yourself and not other people. It's also been a long time since you smiled carefreely like a child without

thinking 'men' in your life."

She underlined the word men that made me smile and think of the point she was emphasizing.

I sighed and stared at her with a genuine smile. I somehow realized she has a point. Well, she always has, it's just that I'm always being stubborn. Why don't I give myself this time a chance, a chance to decide and move on? Maybe there's nothing wrong if I put myself first.

"So?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

But I returned her question.

"So, what do I do now?"

"Huh?" Her jaws suddenly dropped. "Haha... that's what I was asking you earlier, how dare you returned that question to me?"

"Jack...?"

"Hmmp!" She huffed playfully, but then took my hands when she turned serious. "I know a place... a certain place for someone like you. It's a place where you can find peace and happiness." But my eyebrows knitted as I looked at her.

"Oh, peace and happiness? Is that heaven---ouch!" I haven't even finished my question when she slapped my arm.

"Silly! What the hell are you thinking? Of course, it's not heaven because I won't let you die in depression!"

And I couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction. It's such a great relief having a best friend like her whom I can share and trust everything in my life.

"Then what kind of place is that?"

"Hmm... it's a secret for now. You'll find out when we get there and I would also like to introduce you to someone who I promise would be a great help to you."

I frowned.

"So, what you waiting for---let's go!" She was about to get up, but I grabbed her arm.

"Wait, what about my therapy session?"

"Oh, tsk. tsk. don't worry about it. The doctor didn't say you can't miss the therapy session, did he? Because I couldn't remember, besides, the therapist is on a day off, so no one would help you today." "Uhuh... and who told you that the therapist is on a day off? I know their day off is every Saturday and Sunday only and if ever, there would be a reliever if they have an emergency."

"Haist! Who do you believe more, the therapist or me, your best friend?"

"Of course---"

"Besides, why do you have a lot of questions? Are you going with me or not?"

"Tss! The impatient Jackeline Augustine!"

"What? What are you waiting for---Christmas eve? New year's eve---"

"Fine!" I interrupted her, rolling my eyes.

I heard her laughing even when I turned around the electric wheelchair.