41. I like you too
“Keep them coming, Henry,” I say to the bartender after I drink my fifth shot tonight
“No, don’t give her another one,” Amber says, collecting my sixth shot tonight from my hand.
Amber and I are at the club
“Why” I whine like a child
“Because that is not what you need right now.”
“How do you know what I need?”
“I know what you need because I am your best friend. Getting drunk is not going to solve your problem. Talking will”
“I tried, he refused to tell me what’s wrong” Another week has passed, and Jason’s behavior is still the same.
“Try harder. I don’t know how I let you talk me into allowing you to come to the club tonight,” Amber says, shaking her head.
“I don’t know, too,” I say, smiling. I pick up my phone to check why Alex is not here yet. I called him to meet me here. I don’t know why I called him, but I felt like doing something Jason wouldn’t like. Maybe he will decide to tell me what’s wrong when he finds out I am talking to Alex again.
I take my eyes away from my phone once I hear Evan’s voice.
“I am sorry I am late, baby,” Evan says, pecking Amber’s cheeks.
“It is fine. How was work?” Amber asks.
As I watch Amber’s full attention on Evan, I use this opportunity to sneak a drink from henry. I drink it as quickly as possible. I want to get drunk tonight, and Amber won’t let me. I intentionally asked Evan to join us tonight, so he will keep Amber occupied while I get drunk.
After I don’t know how many drinks by now, I feel the need to dance and shake my ass. I walk to the dance floor and shake my body to the music. While I am dancing, I see Alex or someone who I think is Alex. I can’t be really sure right now with all the drinks I have had. I still wave the person over while shouting Alex’s name over the loud music. I know he can’t hear me, but I don’t care and keep calling his name.
“Hi Eleanor,” Alex says once he is in front of me.
“Hello, Alex. You finally made it,” I shout back over the loud music. I am even surprised we can hear each other. I am mostly reading his lips, though.
“Yes, I was not sure if I should come since you are with Jason. I didn’t…………….” I stop him from talking by placing my hands on his lips.
“No, talking. Dance with me,” I say, pulling his hands to dance with me. He does not move his body, so I turn around and try to use my ass to make him move his body with mine. I know men like it when women grind on them.
“Eleanor, I don’t think this is a good idea. I am sure you and Jason must be fighting, and you think it’s best to make him jealous, but I am sorry I can’t help you do…..” Alex says, next to my ears, but he does not finish talking. I turn around to see why and find Alex on the ground with a bloody nose and a fuming Jason above him.
“Alex,” I say, rushing to him on the floor but get stopped midway.
“Come with me,” Jason says, grabbing my hand before I can reach Alex.
“No, I don’t want to go anywhere with you,” I say, forcefully removing my hand from his hold.
“I didn’t ask you, come with me,” He says and is about to pull my hand again, but I run away from him, or so I think I did. My feet leave the ground, and I find myself seeing everything upside down.
“Put me down,” I say, hitting Jason’s back as he walks us out of the club
“I am already pissed off with you, so I advise you don’t make me madder,” He says, and I stop hitting his back.
He walks us outside and throws me into his backseat. He walks over to the driver’s side and gets in. I lay down comfortably as he drives us to wherever he is taking us to. My eyes start to feel difficult to keep open. I try to force them to stay open, but I stop fighting it and close them after a while.
I open my eyes and immediately close them once I feel a shooting pain in my head. Oh my God, I should really quit drinking. I remove my feet from under the covers and drop my legs to the floor. I open my eyes again, and I am about to stand up when I notice something. Where the hell am I? I am in a room that definitely is not mine. I feel like I have been in this room before, but I can’t remember who’s room this is. I also notice I am not wearing my dress from last night. Where is my dress?
“Good, you are finally awake,” A familiar voice says from behind me. I quickly turn around to confirm if I heard right.
“Jason,” I say, surprised to see him. “Where am I?”
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“Why am I in your house, and where is my dress?”
“You don’t remember.”
“Remember what?” I ask, confused
“There is a spare toothbrush under the sink. Come downstairs once you are done freshening up,” He says and walks out of the room.
As I walk to the bathroom, I try to remember the events of last night. All I remember is drinking. Anything other than that, I don’t recall.
I walk downstairs after I finish brushing my teeth and washing my face. I walk into the kitchen to find Jason cooking over the stove. I can’t believe he can cook. I would have never guessed he could. I walk inside and take my seat on one of the kitchen stools. My ass burns a little as it gets in contact with the wood of the kitchen stool. I am still wearing the shirt I am guessing Jason wore for me. I wonder where my dress is and why I am in his shirt. I know it’s his because it smells like him.
“Where is my dress?”
“In the trash.”
“In the trash,” I say, wide-eyed. “Please tell me you are joking.”
“No, you vomited on it, so I threw it away.”
“How can you throw away someone’s dress because they vomited on it? You can wash it.”
“It smelt too horrible to seem washable to me at the moment.”
“No dress stained with vomit is not washable. What do you expect me to wear home now?”
“Someone is getting you something to wear home. Here, eat,” He says, placing a plate of eggs in front of me. He also puts a cup of coffee beside it.
“Thank you for the food, and next time, don’t throw my dress away.”
“Did you just say next time? The punch I gave to Alex is not enough to tell you there should not be a next time.”
“You punched Alex,” I ask, surprised. I really have to remember what happened last night.
“You truly don’t remember what happened last night. How drunk were you, and why did you even let yourself get so drunk.”
“I don’t remember. I don’t remember. It’s none of your business.”
“It’s none of my business to know why my girlfriend got herself so drunk she can’t remember me punching another guy because she rubbed her ass on him,” Jason yells.
I look at him, and I can see he is angry. As I stare at him, the events of last night start to flood my mind. I remember when Alex arrived and how I tried to dance with him. I remember Jason punching him and carrying me outside.
“I didn’t know I was your girlfriend. I know I am your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend but not your girlfriend.”
If things were different between us, I would have been doing backflips in my head after hearing him call me his girlfriend, but I can’t. I don’t even feel like he meant it when he said it to me. He hasn’t made me feel like his girlfriend in weeks.
“What are you talking about?” He asks, confused
“I know you want to break up with me.”
“Where the hell did you get that idea from?”
“You haven’t touched me since the night I told you I wasn’t ready.”
“How does that make you believe I want to break up with you?”
“You haven’t touched me, so I will get bored of being with you and end things with you. I know what you are trying to do” I don’t look up at him as I tell him. It hurts me to say these things to him because if I am right, we will have to break up, and I really like him. He does not say anything, but I hear his footsteps moving towards me.
“Eleanor, look at me,” Jason says, placing his hands on my face. He makes me lock eyes with him. “I don’t want to break up with you.”
“Then why haven’t you touched me in weeks.”
“The night you told me you were not ready and didn’t know when you would be took me by surprise. I have dreamt of how I would sleep with you, and hearing that night that it might not happen anytime soon was not easy for me to take in………….”
I cut him off. “Of course, it was not easy for you to take in. You only wanted me for my body, and I told you I could not give it to you. I can’t believe I actually believed you wanted me for me and not for my body. I was so foolish to believe that you could change” It’s one thing to suspect something, and it’s another to confirm it. I feel tears threatening to fall the more I realize I was played.
“No, Eleanor, that is not what I am trying to say.”
“Then what are you trying to say,” I ask. I try my best to not allow the tears to fall. I can’t let him know that I have fallen for him. He can’t find out that he just wanting my body hurts me.
“As I was saying, it was a lot to take in. I have never been celibate since I started having sex, and the one woman I wanted to fuck more than anyone in the world was telling me no. I had to think about it and, in the process of thinking. I had to stop touching you.”
“You are still saying the same thing. You just wanted me for my body, and you had to think about if you should continue to wait till I give myself up or if you should find someone else to fuck” I say, as the tears escape my eyes. It hurts so much to hear him admit it again.
“No, Eleanor, that is not what I had to think about. Why do you keep thinking I just want you for your body?”
“Because Jason, you are a man whore. You use women for their bodies and dump them once you are done. You can’t blame me for thinking that’s why you want to be with me,”
“You are right, I don’t date, and once I have slept with you, I dump you. But Eleanor, you are not like those women. You are different. You mean so much more to me”
“If I mean so much to you, then why did you withdraw from me the moment I said I could not have sex with you. What did you have to think about?”
“I withdrew from you because I wanted to see how it would be without you. I really like you, Eleanor but been in a relationship and not having sex is not easy for someone like me. I had to think about if I could do it and not cheat on you. I had to think about if I should break up with you even though I liked you because I did not want to hurt you by cheating on you since you won’t have sex with me. I even tried to see if I could hold myself from just kissing you and if I could, maybe I could keep my penis in my pants till you were ready. Been celibate is not easy, Eleanor. You won’t understand because you have never had sex. It’s not something everyone can do in a relationship.”
“What did you decide in the end?” I say, hoping he decided to be with me. Hearing him explain everything made me understand that he does like me. As he said, I have not had sex before, so I don’t know what’s it like to stop having it. I am so happy it’s not because he just wants my body. He was just finding it hard to be celibate.
“I realized that I am a fool to even think I can live without you. I know it will be hard to be celibate while I am with you but living a life without you seems harder. You mean so much to me, and right now, I could not see my life without you in it. I am sorry for being distant.”
“It’s fine as long as you want to be with me.”
“Only a fool won’t want to be with you. You are every man’s dream. I really like you, Eleanor.”
“I like you too, Jason,” I say, and he captures my lips in a kiss. It’s been so long since we kissed. I have missed his lips. I don’t even want to ever stop kissing him. I really like Jason, and I am so happy we worked things out. I would have been heartbroken if we didn’t. Thank God that’s not what happened.