Chapter 217
217
Xade's povNôvelDrama.Org owns © this.
The doctor's words echoed in my mind, ringing like trumpets in every damn corner as I pace just outside her room. I don't recall how long I have been here, just waiting and waiting. But I do know I have worried both my parents and Xaden, as well as his mate, Kaylee.
"You're going to run a hole in the floor if you keep this up," Xaden lifted his head to look at me anxiously. He had been running his fingers through his hair for the longest. I wasn't the only one on edge.
However, I was the only one pacing and looking crazed.
Then let me run it!" I snapped, snarling as I shot him daggers of irritation. Pacing was the only thing that seemed to help. making me not have that burning urge to open that door and step into the room.
It was bad enough I could hear her heartbeat through the monitor they had her hooked up to. Guilt was quickly eating away at my insides and I don't think I'd be able to erase it.
I ran a hand through my hair, cutting away through the tangles from previously tugging at it in frustration. My wolf was restless, pacing just beneath my skin, tingling to the very surface.
Things should not have been like this. I should have protected her. I was supposed to protect her. This was my fate, my entire existence was for her. She was my existence. My entire.
And now my entire existence was lying on a bed, fighting for her life.
Life was cruel.
I kept pacing, every step sinking the frustration I felt into the building just as the guilt gnawed at my body with every breath I swallowed in. Every moment, every single gust of the moment seemed like it was some kind of countdown to doom.
And the guilt pressed down harder.
"Xade," it was Kaylee's voice and it seem to find a way to crack through the hurricane of my thoughts, pulling my attention to her for a second. "Please calm down
I should be surprised that Kaylee who wasn't much of a talker cared enough to tell me to calm down. However, in the moment her words were like a ticking bomb that she unfortunately ticked off.
Her words grind against my nerves, setting me on edge.
I didn't need to calm down. I needed to do something. Anything that would get the love of my life out of that damn bed and in my arms, healthy and safe.
"I don't need to calm down Kaylee!" snapped, my voice way harsher than 1 intended, yet, it was way too late to take it back. And in the moment, I was not sure! wanted to. I was clearly not thinking right.
"Hey man," Xaden growled, his voice holding threat as his eyes shifted. I stood my ground but I respected my brother enough that he was only protecting his mate.
"Watch how you speak to her he wamed.
I was also not stupid enough to not know that if he really wanted to, Xaden could take me down. He was after all the alpha's first son. My older brother.
I clenched my hands into fists, trying to push my anger down. I knew it wasn't their fault, not his, not Kaylee's, not my parents, not anyone's except for me. I was the root cause of this and if anyone needed to be hashed out like this, it would be me.
I was the one who failed to protect her and as I listen to her rising heartbeat, knew that every beat and labored breath was a reminder of that failure. I failed her.
It was no one but me.