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When things had been better, both Ray and Marilyn would take turns reading passages out of the book, mimicking voices of the characters to Rachel’s delight. Now it was rare for both parents to be present during reading time. But, Rachel would continue to insist and on some occasions, both Marilyn and Ray would show up and briefly the magic of Rachel’s smile would make the couple’s troubles disappear.
One night, Rachel asked for them both to read to her. When they settled into their chairs, they both noticed a large piece of paper bookmarked a few pages ahead of where they had finished from the night before.
Rachel just smiled and explained that it was a surprise for them.
“Baby, are you feeling all right?” Marilyn asked as she placed her hand on Rachel’s brow. “Ray, she has a fever, maybe we need to take her to the hospital.”
“No, Mommy, I feel okay. I don’t want to go to the hospital! Please, can you just read to me?”
Running a fever wasn’t out of the ordinary for Rachel as she fought off infections and side results from various medications that would counteract in her body. Finally, she persuaded her parents to continue reading to her.
As they read, Rachel began to get less animated and involved in the story. Suddenly, her body began trembling and escalating into full-blown convulsions. Rachel’s eyes rolled back into her head as Ray grabbed her. Marilyn screamed and dropped the book on the floor and was at Ray’s side as they tended to their daughter.
Marilyn fumbled into her pocket for her phone to call 911 for an ambulance. Ray sprinted downstairs to grab all the ice out of the freezer to try to cool down the fever Rachel was suffering from.
It seemed like an eternity for the ambulance to get there. The EMT’s quickly and professionally had Rachel strapped to the gurney and carried her to the ambulance, waiting with lights flashing in the night. All the neighbors were outside drawn to the spectacle as Marilyn and Ray trailed behind the EMT’s as they loaded Rachel in the ambulance. Marilyn scrambled inside the ambulance to stay with her daughter.
Ray ran to his car and fired it up and followed the ambulance as the siren began wailing in the air. He trailed behind the emergency vehicle with his car’s emergency flashers going. Matching speed and running through intersections, Ray wasn’t about to let the ambulance out of his sight for any reason.
They pulled into the emergency drive at the hospital and Ray ignored an orderly’s request that he park the vehicle into a parking lot as he ran behind the gurney. Marilyn’s was crying as she ran alongside the gurney as they went into a hallway and approached a set of double doors. At that point, an RN commanded them to stop and directed them to a waiting room as the gurney disappeared from their sight.
Like sheep they followed the order and sat besides one another as they wordlessly waited to find out what had afflicted their daughter. In a few minutes, hospital security came into the room to remind Ray to move his car. He left and took the car into the parking lot and hurried back to the waiting station.
Again, he sat by Marilyn and waited. They both watched the infinite slow ticking of seconds from the wall clock hoping and despairing for news. The doors swung open and a grim young man in surgical scrubs walked over to them.
No, no, no, no, no Marilyn mentally repeated as a mantra as he continued to approach.
“Mr. And Mrs. Thompson, I’m Dr. Carter, I treated Rachel. I want to let you know what is going on. We got the fever down and she is stable right now. She is going to be transferred to a room shortly. As best we can tell, the leukemia and all her medications have worn out her body to the point her immune system cannot handle the strain. We are getting in touch with your oncologist and all the doctors that are treating Rachel and getting up to date on her medical history. Once that happens, we should be able to form a treatment plan. A nurse will be out directly to escort you to Rachel’s room.”
As he began to leave, Ray dreaded asking the question, but blurted out, “Doctor, is she going to be all right?”
The bone weary ER doctor could only look at him with jaded eyes as he turned again and disappeared to treat the next trauma patient. Ray and Marilyn collapsed back into the chair fully aware of the significance of the doctor’s refusal to say Rachel would be okay.
Rachel lingered for eleven days. Marilyn and Ray stood vigil around the clock in Rachel’s room. They would alternate sleeping on the cot the hospital provided while the other remained awake watching their daughter. The only times they left the room were to go home and shower and change clothes and to eat.
They tended to business over their phones in hushed tones while the other spouse feigned ignorance as they spoke guardedly to John or Karen. The majority of the communications were by text which allowed them an additional modem of privacy. Their families began arriving from all over the country to support them.
They all insisted that Ray and Marilyn take a break and allow them to watch Rachel. They both refused to heed the advice. They remained in the room silently watching their daughter hooked up to IV’s and all other kinds of machines giving readouts. They watched as Rachel struggled to get air in her frail little body despite being intubated.
Day by day, Rachel withered away and secretly Ray and Marilyn began to praying for the suffering to stop. Finally, the team of doctors approached them and advised them that all medical options have been exhausted. It was their opinion that it was time to turn off the machines.
Marilyn and Ray looked at each other and both slowly nodded their heads and then bent down and cried. After signing the forms, the collected family watched and held hands as the machines were slowly turned off and Rachel slumbered into eternity.
Warm golden sunlight filtered into the quiet hospital room interrupted by an occasional sob when Rachel drew her last breath at 6:14 a. m.
The inconsolable grandparents held their children as they mourned the mutual loss. No one took notice that Ray and Marilyn only held each other peremptorily before moving to other relatives. Impromptu plans were made to congregate at Marilyn’s parent’s house to discuss arrangements. Ray’s parents drove Marilyn and Ray home. As Ray entered, he looked at the Christmas lights blazing away in the middle of the day and with finality turned the light switch off.Exclusive © material by Nô(/v)elDrama.Org.
The remainder of the week was a surreal experience as Marilyn and Ray worked out all the arrangements. The obituary; the casket; the cemetery; the minister; the music; the date and time of the visitation and funeral.
Marilyn and Ray sleptwalked for the next couple of days as their house was flooded with food, flowers, plants, wreaths, condolence cards, and visitors. They remained in motion to allow each other space from one another. It was a temporary system that worked up to the visitation.
Once again, Ray’s parents collected them and drove them to the visitation. Once inside, Marilyn and Ray drifted apart and began the awkward process of socializing. Ray couldn’t understand why so many people had the fixation of leading him to the casket to peer down at Rachel.
That wasn’t his daughter. Her smile, her charm, her spark, her soul was elsewhere; all that was here was an empty shell. Still, he suffered through the process. He was seated at one end of the room and Marilyn was seated at the other end when he arrived.
Ray tracked John Tullos as he made his way to Marilyn and she stood up and gave him a long hug. Ray continued to watch as they carried on a private conversation still in each other arms, looking into each other’s eyes. They must have felt his stare because both simultaneously glanced his way and abruptly broke apart.
Ray was curious why they even put on the sham of moving away from each other. After all, he thought, isn’t that the guy she wants to be with. For a moment, John Tullos appeared as though he was going to approach Ray.
You have got to be fucking kidding me, Ray thought. Apparently, John reconsidered that idea and he drifted out of the building. Which left Ray with the eternal question of what he would have done if John had of approached him. It was an academic exercise split evenly along the lines of accepting his condolences versus hauling off and kicking the dogshit out of him.
When they got home that night, Marilyn and Ray automatically went to their separate bedrooms. Just one more day to participate in this sham and then Marilyn will declare her independence, Ray sadly thought as he undressed for bed.
Marilyn was pacing in her bedroom weighing whether or not to knock on Ray’s door and try one last time to talk to him and try to make him understand what she was going through. By the time she decided to knock, she stepped out and noticed the light was already out in Ray’s bedroom. She went back to her room and closed the door.
The funeral service was packed from all the friends and acquaintances of Marilyn and Ray. The minister gave a heartfelt talk and the music set the proper tone. The casket was surrounded by rows after rows of flowers. Then it was time for the final viewing as the mourners filed past the family.
Then came time for the family to view Rachel for the last time. Marilyn’s knees weakened as she approached the ornate casket. Oh God, they are going to close that box and bury my little girl! No parents should ever have to go and bury their child, she thought. As she faltered, her father grabbed her arm and Ray on the other side grabbed her to prevent her from collapsing.
Looking at his sad stoic face, she gathered the rest of her courage and said her final farewell to her baby. Then she was outside and escorted to the limo that would drive her and Ray to the graveside service. The final words and prayers were spoken. The pallbearers placed their boutonniere on the casket and filed past.