Fracture loyalties
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Adrian’s POV
‘I really hope I made the right decision,’ I thought to myself, pacing the length of my room. Claire had a way of making me bend to her will, no matter how hard I tried to resist. Since the last time I gave in to her, she’s had me wrapped around her finger, and I hated how weak I felt because of it.
It had been weeks since I last had sex. I kept telling myself I could hold out, that I had more control than this, but the moment she pressed herself against me, whispering those promises in my ear, I crumbled. Lord knows I needed release. My body screamed for it, and despite my better judgment, I couldn’t resist Claire. She knew my weaknesses and exploited them masterfully.
Among all the women I’d been with, Claire was at the top of the list. Her wildness in bed was unmatched, and yet, it wasn’t enough. There was always something lacking. Satisfaction, yes, but not fulfillment. Not the kind of fulfillment I had felt that one night with Lena-the night that haunted me ever since. Lena was different. She wasn’t wild like Claire, but there was something unexplainably right about her touch, something that made me feel whole. Yet, that memory was now tainted by betrayal and deceit.
But with Claire, there was always something off after our encounters. Sure, there was ecstasy, but it faded quickly, leaving me with an emptiness I couldn’t shake off. And still, I had foolishly given Claire permission to proceed with her plans, and now I was regretting every bit of it.
“Why are you worrying yourself?” Ian’s voice pierced my thoughts.
I ignored him.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g
“Oh, now you’re going to act like I don’t exist? That’s mature.” Ian sneered.
“Leave me alone, Ian. I’m not in the mood for your lectures right now,” I grumbled.
“You idiot. After getting laid by the best female wolf you’ve ever had, you’re regretting it. I don’t get you.”
“I know you’re a part of me, but I’d appreciate it if you stayed out of my personal business, Ian. Stay away.” I snapped, trying to suppress the irritation in my voice.
Ian chuckled darkly. “We both know that isn’t possible.”
His laughter grated on my nerves. He loved mocking me, taunting me. But I knew what he was after. He wanted control, and he thrived in chaos.
“Your job, Ian, is to help me win battles, not to meddle in my day-to-day decisions. You’re supposed to protect me, to ensure that nothing happens to me,” I said, my voice shaking with frustration.
“Protect you?” Ian’s voice dripped with amusement. “I am the one inside you, Adrian. I own this body just as much as you do. Stop pretending you’re in charge when you clearly aren’t. The reason people respect and fear you is because of me. I’ve helped you win every battle. Without me, you’d be nothing.”
The tension inside me swelled. Ian’s words stung because there was truth in them. But it didn’t mean I had to like it.
“You’re right,” I muttered through gritted teeth. “But I’d appreciate it if you’d stop barging into my thoughts all the time. Let me think for myself.”
“Barging into your thoughts?” Ian said, his voice laced with mock surprise. “I am your thoughts, Adrian. Without me, you’re weak.”
I felt his presence fade after that, silence filling my mind. Relief washed over me, but it was short-lived. I called out to Ian, but there was no answer. Panic started to creep in when I realized I couldn’t feel him at all.
The last time this happened was during a war. Ian had gone silent for weeks, leaving me vulnerable. We had almost lost that war. It was only when we were on the brink of death that Ian returned, and in a fit of fury, helped me decimate the enemy. It had been weeks of torment without him, and I feared the same thing was happening again.
“My lord!” My beta’s voice jolted me out of my spiral of thoughts.
I turned to him, realizing he had been standing there for a while. “Yes, what is it?”
“I’m sorry to disturb you, my lord, but Lena has asked to see you.”
“Lena?” I said, my stomach twisting at the mention of her name. “What does she want?”
“She didn’t say, my lord. She only asked to see you.”
I sighed heavily. “Is she alright?”
“Yes, she seemed fine. She didn’t indicate any urgency.”
“And you didn’t think to ask her what this was about?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“My apologies, my lord. I will go back and ask her.”
“No,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “There’s no need. I won’t be seeing her.”
“Very well, my lord,” my beta said before excusing himself.
As soon as he left, guilt gnawed at my insides. I couldn’t bring myself to face Lena. Not after what I’d done. I had condemned her to Claire’s manipulations, and now her fate was tied to Claire’s whims. I had promised Lena protection once, but I had failed her, and now my conscience wouldn’t leave me alone.
As the thoughts swirled in my mind, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had made a terrible mistake. I knew Claire too well. She was ruthless, and once she set her sights on something, there was no stopping her.
The more I thought about Lena, the more the guilt began to fester. Despite everything, despite the betrayal, I couldn’t help but feel responsible for her. I had let Claire play her games, and now Lena was caught in the middle. I tried to convince myself that it was too late to fix anything, but the weight of my decisions was too heavy to ignore.
Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my head, causing me to stumble. Ian. I called out to him again, but there was nothing but silence. Fear gripped me as I remembered how vulnerable I had felt the last time he went off the grid.
“Not again,” I muttered under my breath. I couldn’t afford to lose control now, not when so much was at stake.