Married to the mafia boss Series

CHAPTER SIX

Mimi

I can’t get him out of my head.

The last time I saw tears fall from Salvatore’s eyes was during that whole time of Frankie’s death.

From when we got word that it happened to the funeral.

This morning was the only other time I’d seen him look so distressed.

Distressed and enraged.

I’ve been worried since then about what he was going to do. I didn’t know if he was going to go after Gabe since he didn’t exactly promise he wouldn’t. He just said nothing and left.

It didn’t feel like the past whenever I’d ask him not to do a thing and he’d listen. It didn’t feel like that at all, but then… what did I expect?

I shuffle against the sofa as Gina comes out of the kitchen with a plate of sandwiches and a cup of hot chocolate.

She came over when I called her. I felt bad to take her away from her work during the middle of the day, but she insisted on coming.

“Please eat this, Mimi,” she says and sits opposite me.

“I can’t…” I shake my head. I haven’t eaten all day and it’s now going on six.

I’ve lost my appetite along with my will to do anything.

“Mimi, you’re not helping anybody by not eating. Don’t you have work later?”

“I do.”

“You gonna go?”

I nod. “Yeah there’s no point staying in and sulking. It would be foolish to do that. I don’t want this issue to affect me. It’s old news.”

“It’s not about it being old news Mimi. And fucking hell, it’s not even old news. We’re talking about last year. It was a big thing that happened to you and it affected you quite badly. You could have died Mimi.”

I’ve never thought of that part. The pain of losing my baby was so much that I never thought about how injured I was. You tend to forget your own pain when there’s a greater loss. What made it worse was me covering the bruises on my face from the accident with concealer and going back to the club pretending I’d had a cold.

That was shock and like I’d fucking lost my mind because I don’t know why I did that.

“I’m gonna say what I said last year again, although you won’t like me saying it… I think it may help you to speak to someone.”

I frown. “Like a therapist?”

“Yes, like a therapist.”

“No, God. Fuck… I don’t want a therapist. I don’t want to share my worries and shit. That would actually make me feel worse.” It would. Dad made me see a therapist after mom died and I hated it. I get why Gina wants me to see one, because what happened to me was quite bad but I just can’t. What I need is time and space to figure things out. “I know what I want and what I need.”

She shuffles and sits forward. “Mimi, I’m worried about you.”

“I know. I just feel like shit. I feel like shit for hurting him. He just deserved to know the truth.”

I wasn’t going to say anything. Last night was amazing and I almost believed I could do it. I almost believed I could be his doll.

Then I woke up in his arms this morning and fear hit me a hundredfold. The amazing night we shared just brought me so much closer to him than I could have imagined and the fear of that closeness struck me down like lightning.

My damn mind was all over the place and I realized I had to tell him what happened to me. My secret. The secret about my baby girl I never got to have.

It was a girl. I was having a girl.

This time last year I was pregnant with her. In one month’s time it will be a year. I would never have imagined that I’d be sitting here on my sofa without her.

The week before I lost her I saw her on the ultrasound and was told how healthy she was. Everything was perfect and I got one of those pictures. It was the second one but the imaging was better. Prior to that I had the scan where they can tell the baby’s gender.

I was going to raise her on my own. I never planned to suddenly pop up with the news to Gabe and expect him to take care of me. At that point I knew he didn’t love me and it was clear we were just screwing around. No way was I going to kid myself into thinking that he would suddenly love me because I was pregnant.

“Mimi…” Gina says and taps my shoulder. I look to her.

“I just feel awful, Gina. Part of me didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to cause any trouble and not between them as brothers. But I had to tell him why I couldn’t be with him.”

I’m a coward that wants to retreat and run away. That’s what I felt like when the fear struck me in his arms.

Like a coward, but damn, right now I’d rather be the coward than put myself through what I went through last year ever again. Like I said to Salvatore it would be worse with him.

“I get it. I understand. What do you think he’ll do?”

“I begged him not to say anything to Gabe. He shouldn’t … or rather he

wouldn’t normally but nothing like this has ever happened before.” I grimace.

Her shoulders slump and she sighs. “I can’t say I blame him Mimi. I get that Gabe is this changed person and he is, but there was no justice for you while he was being an asshole.”

“I know. It’s taken me a long time to get to this point where I can look Gabe in the eye and feel normal, like I don’t hate him. I don’t and I want him to be happy. This thing with me now isn’t his problem. It’s just shit that’s caught up with me.”

“Look, I think you got shoved in a corner with your back against the wall with Salvatore’s offer. Suddenly the safety net of fooling around was gone and it made you look at reality. It made you face the problems you were shoving to the back of your mind. They’ve resurfaced because you didn’t deal with them. That’s what I think.”

She isn’t wrong. That’s exactly what happened. Last year when it all went down, I ran to Salvatore and he comforted me like the friend he always was. Then we became something more and it was nice and now that I got the chance to take the final step I couldn’t do it.

“I need to focus on myself right now. I want to get everything underway with the restaurant and take it from there.” That’s what I need. Something like that will help fix me because it’s an accomplishment.

She nods understanding. “Okay. I will be there to help set up.”

“Really Gina, you’d do that?” I know how busy she can be most days.

“Of course. You know I will be there.”

I give her a quick hug. “Thanks. Thanks so much. Having you there will be great.” It would be.

I’m about to sign the contract on a lease for the most amazing building. It’s the kind of building that was perfect in every way.

It’s in the heart of the city so I’m right there in the center of the action where all the people are. This time I’m not setting up to back out and push it to the back of the shelf so I made sure I found the perfect setting for the dreamlike restaurant I have in mind. Because it was previously a bistro, it has everything I need and just needs to be decorated to my liking.

The best part is I have the money I need to lease the property and set everything up.

“You’ll be okay. I have faith in you.” She nods.

I appreciate hearing her say that. “Thanks, I guess now’s the time for me to have faith in myself.”

It would just be easier if I didn’t feel like this.

I stopped by the property before going into work.

I just wanted to remind myself of the goal. The dream.

I’d made contact last month to apply for the lease. The owner of the building was very particular and as far as I knew had a bunch of applications for the place.

They selected me and I was practically ready to go.Content © NôvelDrama.Org.

Not many people know. I was kind of hoping to do it and make it a surprise. More of a surprise for myself and how far I’ve come.

Salvatore knew.

It was mainly him and Gina that knew about it.

Salvatore has also seen the building.

I stand outside it now just imagining it all. It feels right. it feels like mine. Like the dream of doing what I longed for.

I hold on to that thought as I make my way to the club.

Jenna doesn’t say anything to me tonight. Good. I’m not in the mood to be nice or fake it.

Besides I’m sure that she can tell from the way I’m dressed that I won’t be dolled up for anybody tonight. Tonight I’m in a little skater dress that looks like something I’d wear to the park, very casual. When I’m working I wear dresses.

I head straight to the dressing rooms and get into my usual routine, checking all the staff are here and that all the areas for sex have what they need. Mainly condoms.

It was only after I did all that that I braved checking the lounge to see if Salvatore was here.

He wasn’t and not anywhere he usually is when he’s here.

Hours pass and I don’t see him. It’s been well over a year since he gave the club a miss. Even when he’s been busy at Giordanos Inc. he still comes by. I guess that was just to see me.

“Yo Mimi,” comes Nick’s voice when I walk out to the downstairs foyer. He looks like he’s leaving.

“Hey,” I smile at him.

“I’m on my way out. So, you’re in charge, boss lady. You’re the only Giordano on the premises,” he cajoles and I find myself smiling.

“Nicky,” I still call him that, everyone used to when we were kids. “You keep forgetting I’m a Cipriani.”

“Whateva, you’re as good as a Giordano to me so you’re the main attraction tonight.”

The guys have this thing about one of them always being onsite. They’re as much of an attraction as the club. So him telling me that is a massive compliment.

I just wished I could feel better to receive it.

“Isn’t Salvatore coming?” I ask. It’s a foolish question since it’s close to nine and if he was coming he would have already been here.

Nick laughs. “You’d know more than me on that front. Relax. I’m sure your boy is just making himself look pretty for you.”

I smile a smile I don’t feel. “Yeah, must be that.”

“I gotta go. My kid wants me home. He says I make better waffles than my girl.”

“Nicky… you are so sweet going home to make waffles,” I beam and his eyes sparkle with a smile.

“Yeah, well don’t let nobody hear you say that or they’ll make the mistake of thinking I’ve gone soft. Catch you later.”

“Night.”

“Stay out of trouble,” he smiles and I widen my eyes at him in complete surprise because if anyone still needs to stay out of trouble it’s him. Of course in true Nick style my reaction is completely lost on that guy as he walks away exuding that badass vibe they all have.

Maybe he’s right. Stay out of trouble. Had I even homed in on common sense a while back trouble would never have come for me.

It wouldn’t come for me now with this conflict in my soul.

I watched Nick go and knew as the frosted glass doors with the gold Dark Odyssey logo swung closed that no one else would be coming tonight.

Salvatore wouldn’t be coming.

And because I know what these guys are like I wonder whose bed he might be in tonight.

Tonight is the first in a long time that I wouldn’t know.

I wouldn’t be there next to him as a friend or otherwise.