Mafia Desire (Erotica)

Now Ben was ready to begin his hunt. The current avenues for finding a wife proved to be unappealing to him. He was still quiet and shy so he found the bar scene to be too intense. The women he met there were immediately drawn to his looks and style and more often than not he found himself being taken home for a night of wild sex but none of them really clicked emotionally. He hadn’t had much experience with sex but he learned how to please women as they weren’t afraid to tell the big man what they wanted. Some, quite frankly, frightened him. Especially the morning after.

He learned that he didn’t truly know fear until he’d experienced online dating. While he’d researched carefully and presented himself and his goals as honestly as possible in his profile, he must have chosen the wrong dating sites as he found his level of honesty was unique. Once more most of the women who contacted him did so for his surface qualities and none of the women he eventually met were a good match for his life plan. Most showed no interest in starting a family unless you counted the woman whose husband showed up with her kids at the restaurant where Ben met her face to face. The experience almost made him destroy his computer.

Pam finally resorted to setting him up with a few of her coworkers from her studio but again the chemistry wasn’t there. Two indicated they would gladly take him to bed again if he was interested. Word got out and a few other women at her office asked Pam to set them up with Ben and she began to feel like a pimp. She swore off matchmaking.

Finally he went back to his yearbook and tried to reconnect with some of the girls he’d been friendly with in high school. Most had gotten married or moved away but the girl he’d secretly had a crush on, Wendy Harrison, was living at home with her ill mother and worked as a checkout clerk at one of the big chain grocery stores. He asked her out on a few dates and discovered she was as sweet as she’d been back in high school. She’d put on a little weight but her smile was just as breathtaking as he remembered, her giggle was infectious, and her eyes twinkled when she was really happy. Over the course of the dates they had Ben learned that she’d seen her own dreams die when her mother had a stroke and needed her to move in as caretaker. She had also planned on having a large family. Ben had finally found his dream woman! On their fifth date he asked her to marry him. He promised to take care of her mother so she wouldn’t be abandoning her. She’d leapt into his arms and said yes!

The wedding was small and he brought her to his home and got her mother settled in. Three months later her mother passed in her sleep. It hit Wendy pretty hard but Ben was there for her and they got through it. It was a tough time but Ben felt their love was stronger for it. Afterwards Wendy said she was ready to start their family so she went off her birth control pills and they began to try. Ben was so happy. Months passed, then a year, followed by a second and nothing.Original content from NôvelDrama.Org.

During that time they went out on double dates with Nedin and Pam until Pam discovered she was pregnant. Then Wendy found excuses why she couldn’t make it. She went back to school to get a degree in business administration. Ben was delighted that she was finding something to make her happy as he was starting to see the twinkle in her eyes less and less. He surprised her with flowers and gifts and sometimes he’d book them a couple’s weekend away and they would just relax in spas, eat good food, and drink wine. The sex was good. Really good. But no baby.

In desperation Ben and Wendy finally went to see a fertility doctor. Ben supplied his sample and Wendy underwent her own series of tests. A couple of weeks later they were sitting in the doctor’s office when they were given the bad news. Ben’s sperm count was low but Wendy was sterile. She was not going to be able to have children. Ever. Wendy was destroyed by the news. She fell into a deep depression and again, Ben was by her side, telling her he loved her and he considered himself blessed. Nothing he could say seemed to be able to break the self-torment she was putting herself through.

Then one morning Ben found her up and dressed and ready for the day. He was delighted until he saw the bitter smile she gave him on her way to class. Something had broken and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to fix it.

She threw herself into her studies and their home life became just a little colder. When he’d hold her at night and whisper how much he loved her she’d murmur she loved him too but he felt the wall going up. She was holding something back. He had tried to get her to attend marriage counselling with him and offered to pay for psychiatric counselling if she wanted it but she’d fly into a rage when he suggested it so he’d given up on that avenue. They stumbled along this way for four years as there were periods when she was almost back to her old self then she’d slip away again.

Then it was almost time for Wendy’s graduation. Ben planned a celebration for her; a trip for two to Hawaii as it coincided with their seventh wedding anniversary. He hoped the dramatic change of scenery would bring her out of the shell she was erecting around her heart.