Madrid

Alana

– I understood. He found his brother, you stayed there to sleep, and then you had sex all night, wasn’t that Alana?

As soon as she utters that sentence, I’m speechless, I don’t know what to say, but I have to go on with the lie.

– No mother! I just slept over at his place, and just… Nothing else besides, and…

– Alana, stop lying! It’s written all over your face that you slept together…

I don’t have anything else to say, I just hang my head. My mother starts her endless sermon, with the same speech she’s been talking about the last few days, that Raúl just wanted to take advantage of me, wanted to make himself famous, and blah, blah, blah! Wow! Really? How famous am I? The famous one here is Dani, not me. I feel so sad and empty with this speech of hers, instead of staying by my side, wanting to know if I’m okay, no…

Does she want to see me badly?

I know that every mother cares about her children, wants the best, but mine always exaggerates. She was always too protective, she couldn’t go anywhere, and I always accepted it, but since I decided to meet my father, and I asked her why I couldn’t get close to him, something changed in me, I can no longer accept that she determines mine. life, although, even from a distance, she controlled my steps through my aunt, even so, I managed for three years to live my life without her determining everything.

She goes on with that interminable sermon, and I just listen. Until I put a stop to this discussion, or rather this monologue.

– Mom, why is it so hard to accept that I’m not a child? And that you can’t determine my choices?

– Alana…

– Just listen to me, okay? You taught me a lot, I’m grateful to you for everything you’ve done for me, but it’s time for me to live my life, and make my choices, and you can’t choose and live for me, you just have to support me. What does it cost?

I don’t wait for her to answer me, I face her , turn around and head towards the stairs. I go into my room, lock the door, and throw myself on the bed. I’m tired, my body aching from the night I spent with Raúl, feeling so fragile, and the urge to cry takes over me, I need to talk to someone. I look at my cell phone, and look for my friend’s number.

– Hello, Baby…

– Hi, Lana! Are you all right?

– I need to talk… I’m feeling a little weird…

– What happened?

– Can’t you come over to the house?

– Yes! I can…

– Oh, call Edu too… I need you two here!

As soon as I say that, I say goodbye, and hang up the phone. I head towards the bathroom, I need a shower. My thoughts only take me to the night before, and with each piece of clothing I take off, the image of Raúl taking my clothes off insists on taking up residence in my mind, his kisses all over my body, even in some of the most sensitive spots. leaves you a little disconcerted. I get in the shower and turn on the shower and a feeling of freshness takes over me, I look at my body, and once again the image of Raúl staring at me, touching every part makes me hot.

[…]

The shower was very refreshing, but Raúl doesn’t get out of my head. I’ve already tried to read some book, but I can’t concentrate on anything. I hear a little noise in the distance, I look this way and that, until I remember the phone. I desperately get up.

– Hello?

– Hi baby! It’s all right?

– Now it is. She gave me a huge scolding, but I think she understood…

– I insisted that you let me talk to her!

– Raúl, I needed to talk to her, and clarify things. It wasn’t easy, but I managed… I think!

– Still, I need to talk to your mother the right way, and clarify that I don’t want to play with you, I want something serious. – he says, and automatically, my heart races.

– That’s good to hear, quarterback! – I thought after yesterday you were going to dump me! – I say jokingly, but I know that comes a very seductive answer.

– Dismiss you? Never… After yesterday, I became more in love, and wanting to teach you many things… – He says this, and a false curiosity with the flavor of desire, settles in my head.

– Teach me what?

– How about you come to my place tonight? And then, I will show you what I can teach you… – Oh, my goodness!

I can’t answer it. Someone knocks on the door, and my attention turns to the knocking. I walk towards the door, and when I open it I find my friends.

– Raúl, I’m going to hang up. My friends just got here. I’ll call you later, okay?

– Alright, I’ll wait for your call!

I hang up, and go back to my friends who are lying on my bed, staring at me steadily as if they’re analyzing me. I sit on the bed, I don’t say anything, and they keep looking at me, until Edu decides to break the silence.

– Come on, tell me soon! I don’t have all day…

– Yeah, Alana, let’s go! You called us here, and now we want to know what happened!

– Oh man, how much pressure. I called you guys here, because I’m feeling really weird, and I need to vent…

– You can say! – says Ed.

– It’s just that yesterday, me and Raúl, we…

– Did you have sex? – asks Edu, who then makes an expression of surprise.

– He was. We made love, Edu!

– Okay, now we want details, Alana! says Babi impatiently.

I tell him everything that happened , all the details, and I decide to talk about my disappointment about my first time. After all, I expected it to be different from what it actually was.

– I don’t understand! What were you waiting for, Alana? asks Babi.

– I don’t know, I was hoping it wouldn’t be so painful, and…

– But you said that he started to stimulate you, and that improved the sexual relationship, and you managed to come along with him, didn’t you? – asked EdU.Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.

– Yes but…

– But what? You know what’s the problem? You romanticize too much, it’s not like in books, movies or series. The first time hurts, yes! That’s why it’s important to do it with someone we trust, and who has feeling involved. Well, you can be fated to feel like me, that I lost my virginity to some idiot, it hurt a lot, the guy didn’t know, and in the end I didn’t know what it was like to come! Babi protested.

– Calm down Baby! You don’t have to take your frustrations out on Alana! – said Edu, who then held my hands, and continued his speech. – From what you’ve told us, Raúl did the best he could, he worried about you, tried to give you pleasure, and when he realized something was wrong, he looked for other ways so you wouldn’t feel so much pain. That means he cared about you, and you can be sure the next ones will be wonderful, silly!

Your speech reassures me. I’m a real fool! Edu and Babi are right, Raúl was amazing to me, and I was expecting a performance worthy of fiction, where no one feels pain during and after sexual intercourse. We talked about so many things, and we didn’t notice the time passing.

– Wow, the day went by so fast! I wanted to stay with you a little longer, but I have a date in a few hours, and I need to look good…

-May I know who you will meet? – I ask curiously.

– No, not yet!

– It’s Alana, he’s been full of secrets lately!

– Is it someone famous you’ve been seeing, Edu?

– It’s no use Lana! – Only when the time is right, I’ll tell you who it is… Now, I think I’d better leave, you’re very curious, and you’re going to fill me with questions! He says, and gets out of bed.

I escort them to the door. We say goodbye, and I get that curiosity. Edu was never one to hide who he went out with, so it’s someone known, or too famous to be exposed. I climb the stairs quickly, hoping I won’t find my mom, or Dani, to give me a moral lesson. But unfortunately I meet him at the top of the stairs.

– You mean, now you sleep at his house? – I stare at him so angry, he has no right to have any say in my life.

– And? What’s with you? That I know life is mine!

– You won’t know until he’s done with you. I know Raúl, he’s going to play with you! And when that happens, don’t say I didn’t warn you, and…

Really? He’s already filling me with this habit of wanting me to suffer, and that’s not normal, I don’t have to listen. I just go on my way, and leave him talking to himself. Will my relationship with Raúl not have his support, or my mother’s? I go into my room and lock the door so he doesn’t come in, and come up with the same speech. As soon as I enter the room, I hear my phone ringing, I run towards the bed, and I see his name on the display. A smile forms on my face, and I answer it.

– Hi, quarterback?

– Hi baby! Did you miss me?

– No. I saw you a few hours ago, and you’re already missing me? I say with the intention of playing with him.

– I waited for your call… And nothing! I thought you were missing me! But it’s ok… I’ll call Amália to keep me company, she must be missing me. What do you think? – does he want to play this game? Just remembering this girl, a rage rises!

– You’re not crazy! As soon as I say that, he laughs, and I just hear his laugh. – It’s not funny, Raúl!

– Jokes aside, how about we spend the night together again? – This time without interruptions, so I can provide you with much more pleasure! – He says, and an intense heat takes over me. I don’t know what to answer, I’m confused. I want to go, but at the same time I have a number of factors holding me back, including my mother, my dear brother.

– I don’t think so…

– Why? What happened?

– It’s my mother, I told you that our conversation was not very nice. And then there ‘s Dani, he also came to answer me, and…

– So I have to go to your house to clear all this up, now!

What? No!

He can’t come, it would only get worse, now what?