KISS ME
“W.. hat .. are… you doing here?” I ask, after acknowledging that my dream has swivelled into reality. I dart my eyes around the room and realize that the window curtain has been moved to the sides, and the windows are open. There is a little sunlight today, maybe marking the end of winter.
Before answering my question, Andy grins, and I take the shot to glare at him. Doesn’t he look abnormally raw and straight-faced for such an early morning? No eye bags, no logs, no gloomy face, and no signs of somnolence. My! Handsomeness comes with its outstanding package of windfalls, I suppose. Damn!
“What were you dreaming about? I knocked, I called, but you did not hear. I thought you might have developed a fever overnight, only to walk in on you…”
Murmuring your name in my stupid dream? Shit! He freaking heard me! What the…
“Snoring!” He attempts to lie, but the devilish smirk on his face deludes him. Even his four-year-old daughter can tell he is prevaricating. I am sceptical that he is about to blow up with laughter.
Heck! I really must have made a complete dummy of myself with my stupid dream. I mean, for Andy, to have this smirk? My! My! My! Can the ground do me a favour and swallow me for a minute? This is too much stigma for an early morning like this one. Jeez!
“Did… you hear anything? Well, aside from the snoring?” I ask, embarrassment written all over my face.
He clears his throat and lies again.
“No, nothing. Apart from snoring, of course.” This jerk is in no doubt making fun of me and I feel like killing him. Even the way he says the word “snoring” is dubious. If I wasn’t his maid, I would have pleated myself under this duvet to hide the chagrin. “Anyways, I came to wake you up. I cancelled our today’s meals order because you are doing the cooking. I bought all the ingredients you wrote down and did a little shopping at the supermarket. We are also expecting some guests at one.”
Now that got me super fascinated. I will be damn cooking! I pluck my phone from under the pillow to check the time and, holly cow! What the heck!
“Shit! Guests at one? It’s freaking nine!” I hurl the duvet away and slide from the bed, put my sandals on and I stand. “I have not even made breakfast for goodness sake!” I mumble in a hurry to get my lazy ass to work.
I commence my short journey to the bathroom to ease myself.
One. Two. Three steps, double shit! No, make it triple.
Triple shiieet!!!
What on devil’s freaking name am I doing, sauntering in front of Andy with my night dress that drapes bearing nothing of my body apart from my, well, you what!? Holy crap!
I turn with lightning speed to grab the duvet from the bed to at least cover myself. This embarrassment is too much!
Before I reach my bed, mahatma Gadhi in form of Andy racks tall in front of me, his hands in his pockets. I take a step back, a cold shiver running down my spine. I swallow hard as I feel the hairs on my body raise.
If I start walking back, I will hit the wall with my back, and because I can’t walk past the tall and mighty Andy, I strut on the spot, hands crossed on my chest.
I have nothing inside this nonsense of a dress, so you can infer just how shameful I am feeling standing like this in front of my boss, and in a room. I feel completely naked.
“I am sorry.” I manage to mumble at last as I bow my head down. I wish the ground can open up and swallow me at least until Andy leaves this room. This shit of a morning is a hell one! This is so…
“What were you thinking, Tania?” Andy whispers with a shaky voice, eyeing me with a look that’s… full of what, huh?
I must admit, I love how dark and cold his orbs are right now. The glow of a hungry beast. The look that is making my dear in front of this beast tremble. I got lost in his eyes for a moment, but his fingers trailing up on my bare thighs brought me back to my senses.
I hold his wrist.
“No, Andy!” I let go of his hand, and tightly hold on to the helms of my dress on both sides. He discerns my gesticulation, and his hand plunge from my thigh. It’s becoming way too hot in here, creating a very compelling mood. Or maybe it’s his pheromones that I am feeding on due to this closure. “Sorry, okay? I.. I.. wasn’t thinking.” I steal a glance at him, only to discover his eyes prowling on my chest. Huh! Why wouldn’t he be fixed there? I don’t have a bra, so I understand damn well how the sight up there looks. I can’t even make the slip of trying to substantiate it. Not when I can sense something peeping at him under the thin layer of this filthy shit of a dress. I don’t think I am recouping from this self-humiliation any time soon.
Like in a fantasy, I contemplate him lifting his hands to my face, and I close my eyes to shut out the alluring imagination. But again, like a dream, I feel hands rest on my neck.
He delineates his fingers on the sides of my neck, making me shudder, but I still hold on to my dress with the little energy left in me. He strokes me down the neck and halts at its base, working his magic.
I feel him leaning in, moving his lips up to my neck and giving me a very hot and moist kiss that sets my body ablaze, and my brain asunder. I am lost in this fire, glued in it by a magical spark that doesn’t allow me to even move. The scent of his pheromones is dominating, weakening my bones, almost bringing me down on my knees.
I have never felt this way before. Never have I experienced this. I never thought something this robust and tempting exists. I never visualized myself squirming like this just because of a man. But he is making everything feasible without any struggles. The desire, this longing… this magic is seductively alluring, but I have to stop this insanity before things get out of control. That is if they are still under control.
This is all candy and beautiful. It’s desirable and irresistible. But it’s wrong… it’s wrong.
“Andy,” I whimper, and he raises his head from my neck where he was buried working his magic. He looks directly into my so dangerously weak eyes without saying a word, scanning through them one at a time. His breathing is unsteady, and his eyes hold this icy sexy demeanour that speaks nothing but volumes of pure temptation. I blink twice before speaking. “Can we please stop this, please?” I ask, feeling a tinge of disappointment in my heart. They say that the heart can never be wrong, but I don’t trust mine when it comes to Andy. Especially not now.
“Okay!” He enunciates after a decade of pure staring, perhaps waiting for me to change my mind and give in to the sin he is offering. I painfully blink, convincing myself that this is for the best. “Is that what you want?” He implores, cupping my face, scanning for the sincerity of my response.
My body, mind, and soul, are all beseeching me to say no. To admit that I yearn for him to go on kissing me. Touching me like this. But I decide against them all and nod my head, and they all scream at me for disappointing them, and for lying to myself.
Andy nods his head too, meaning he respects my decision, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs.
“I am sorry for that. But next time, don’t tempt me like this again.” He finishes, and I sense a tinge of disappointment in him too. He starts to walk away.
My heart is heavy, and my mind is messed up. I am itching for one thing, one thing that I am sure will bring back my mind together and solace my heart. I know it’s not right, but just this once, I will hearken to my heart. I will not be able to concentrate the whole day, and I don’t want to zone out in front of Andy and his guests. So just this once, I choose to be selfish.
“Andy?” I call when he is about to reach the closed door.
“Yes.” He answers and turns, taking a few strides towards me, and I lock the remaining gap and stand in front of the handsome Andy. I look at him, marvelling at what he will reckon of what I am about to ask.
I open my mouth to speak, but no word comes out. I close my mouth. I can’t do this. I can’t. “What is it, Ania?” He pleads, really alarmed, and he moves closer so that our faces are just a few inches apart, feeding me his pheromones again. Does he know what he is doing to me??? I shut my eyes and look down, but he put his index finger under my chin and forces me to look up, which I do albeit with closed eyes. “Look at me, Ania.” I open my eyes, obeying his authoritatively sweet voice. “What is it? You can ask me anything at all.”
If I don’t do this, I will not have peace the whole day. Besides, he yearns for the same thing. Ooh well, I am oblivious about the depth of his desire and if it has limits, but I trust my instincts that he won’t take this too far. I muster my courage and whisper my plea albeit with a shaky voice.
“One kiss,” I say, and he raises one eyebrow, stunned and perplexed at my utterances. “Can we ….” he raises his head up and down in a slow nod, soliciting me to finish, and that fills my bag of confidence. “Can we kiss and pretend it never happened?” For seconds, he doesn’t utter a word. He just gawks at me like he did not assimilate what I meant, or like he did not hear me at all. Maybe he…
“You sure you want that? You want me to kiss you?” He finally speaks, and I nod my head undoubtedly, which acted like a go signal to him.
In a single swift, I am pinned by Andy’s body against the wall at my bedside, as he hungrily chews my lips, his hands pressing mine above my head. We kiss, taking small breaks to breathe, and then resuming our heated kissing session until we are both satisfied.
As we culminate the kiss, I am not only breathless, but I have also utilized all the energy in me to kiss Andy to a point that I now can not stand properly on my feet, but Andy is a gentleman enough to let me rest on his comfortable chest for a while.
Feeling his throbbing heart is a gratifying feeling that he relished the kiss as I did, and the soothing motion of his hands up and down my back is mellowing.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.
When he is convinced I am steady enough, he plants a kiss on my hair and starts pulling away, opting to crack a joke.
“I don’t mind holding you or kissing you the whole day, but we have guests to cook for.” That made me blush like hell, but I nod my head with a smile, feeling like a bucket of energy has been poured into me. “Are you okay now? Was that good enough?”
Huh! Good? It was satisfyingly incredible!
“Yes. Thank you. And .. sorry, that was so selfish of me.” I mumble.
“Come on!” He pecks me on the lips. “You knew I needed it.” He gives me another peck on the lips again. “I honestly needed it.” We stare at each other, smiling like idiots. Are we really doing this? Behaving like two adolescent dumbheads in love? “Well then. Get ready and meet me in the kitchen.”
Before he walks away, I lean in and peck his lips too.
“Okay.”
With that, Andy walks away, after winking at me before leaving my room. I am left feeling so calm. So raw. So re-energized.