I know The Devil

~ They say it’ll get better

It’s a lie

It doesn’t get better.

You just get used to it.

On Tuesday, Law took me to the cinema.

On Wednesday, he came to pick me up from home to school and reminded me he love me.

On Thursday, he ignored me at homeroom, went back to sitting in the third row, and didn’t take my calls later that night when I thought maybe he was having a bad day or something hence his attitude.

On Friday, I was tagged on Instagram to a picture on our school’s what’s hot? Website. It was that of Titiana and Law Tyler at Todos Santo bay. They were kissing.

I was getting a full cover of what being popular at Evans high school entails, which involves thousands of messages. Few were genuine and concerned about how I was doing, some punctuated with fakeness and I could imagine their pitched laughter while they typed their obvious lies and the rest, well just everybody reminding me that I was a fool for believing Law Tyler had feelings for me.

Besides that, I’d just discovered a lie. A lie of the century because although they call it heartbreak and it all takes place inside the body. Calm and brutal. As my first tear, fall on top of my phone which was still displaying the zoomed picture that proved that the guy wearing the grey unbuttoned shirt was really Law, I heard my heart cracking and just as Rob had told me, it didn’t break. It shattered into tiny pieces of shards that all had Law Tyler etched in them.

I was ten minutes late for school. I dashed into the homeroom aware of every eyes that were on me, conscious of every high-pitched laughter knowing that the possibility they were laughing at me was very high.

Gloria hugged me after we were done with history class, I bet even she could see that breathing was becoming a chore for me and Blaine, who was in a Non-exclusive relationship with Jason came to remind me that men were scums last period to break.

I was back to the Janitor’s closet at break time, my chest heaving, my eyes bloodshot, my heart bleeding. Brain warned me, it was meant to be a recipe for disaster when you believe the words of a boy who was too good to be true. It was a game to him, just like his PS video games and I was the control button yet heart had fooled me and hormones had egged her on.

“So here is where all the cool kids hang out now, huh?” It was Troy, in between his finger was an unlit stick of cigarette and I immediately tried to hide any evidence that I had been crying in here hence cleaning my tear-streaked face aware that he was looking for a secret hideout to smoke since smoking was not allowed on school premises.

I looked away like I didn’t hear his sarcastic question even as I hugged myself watching him lit his blunt and in fascination noticing how the little trail of smoke and smell that I absolutely abhorred looked and smelt better.

“You know this was bound to happen, Prudence. Don’t tell me you didn’t consider even for once that this could unfold right in front of you. This is no chick flick and in real life when a popular bad boy is seen hanging around with the school’s nobody it is a disaster waiting to happen.”

“You know I liked you better when you were just Troy the kid with a great smile, nice hair and who waved at me across the hallways because I sat next to Law Tyler.”

He casually sat next to me on the table and I scooted to the side putting much-needed distance between us while eying the stick of death hanging from his lips with disdain and disgust.Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.

“Firstly, I didn’t say hi to you because you were sitting next to Law Tyler but because it was like… You were not and then you were.” He gave me a confused look like he was the one at a loss of what was going on, while I stared back at him with my eyes I bet mirrored the worry I felt for him.

I was too weak emotionally and physically to deal with a classmate that decided today was a day to exhibit a tendency of craziness.

“We saw you across the hallways with your hoodie and for a while, you were just faceless, like another girl amongst others blending into the background.” I rolled my eyes. Like we weren’t both saying the same time. Law was the one who stole my band till he had them all, removed my hoodie from my face till I got tired of putting them up and held my hand telling the world he was with me. Law.

“Law didn’t make you noticed. It was different. You weren’t seen at all. Before Law, though it is creepy, I didn’t know what your eyes colour look like, your high cheekbones are a surprise to me and you had black hair? Shocker. You were invisible but not in an unpopular understandable way but we couldn’t see you creepy type of way but now we do.”

I hit his cigarette that was hanging in between his fingers and ignored the glare he shot me.

“You know you reduce your lifespan whenever you take a drag of such unhealthy things.”

“Many things reduce our lifespan. Heartbreak, our parents, expectations even life itself so who gives a shit if the cigarette is contributing its quota?” He gave me a self-assured smirk, “Besides I’m so sure cigarette won’t be what kills me, my mom’s next nose job which might be worst than the first would do the job.”

I wanted to smile. God, knew how desperately I wanted to hear my laughter ring in the room but it was almost like I have forgotten how.

Instead, I settle for a wince at the end of the day that tempted me to cry even more.

“Jeez! You’re a mess.” Troy commented after regarding my face with a grimace for a while.

“And you my pretty boy have an attitude problem. Who is so rude to a girl that is having a difficult day already?”

“A guy that wants to be your friend?” He supplied.

I stared at him for a while, “The last time someone told me that you amongst the whole population of the school saw how that ended.”

“Your friend not swap spit with you but if you want to make out when you are sad, I’m down for being used.”

I shake my head horrified that I was amused at his sick sense of humour and I was even entertaining his questions and asking mine. I should be leaving the room aware that my abode of silence and tranquillity has been breached yet again.

“I should be the one holding that stick and puffing out smoke from all the holes in my body and not you Mr my father don’t know what to do with money and my mom models for Victoria’s secrets.”

He eyed his cigarette that was lying now on the floor and sighed, “I guess it is only fair I throw myself a pity party since we are bonding.”

“We aren’t___”

“You know being born out of wedlock is tougher than everyone thinks. Being me, apart from the looks is a pain and struggle. My maternal family members hates my father who sadly, I have a striking resemblance to hence an inheritance of the hatred ensues. My mom view me as someone who had violently clutched her youth, made her miss out on all the fun parties while she was heavy for me and made her miss out on most opportunities because she was busy raising me. A lousy job she did, by the way, so there you have it. I’m the reason why my mom’s unaging drugs aren’t working, her surgeries are coming off wrong and possibly why there is climate change.” He shrugged like it was no big deal that his mother hates him.

“How about your real dad and his family?”

He chuckled lightly, “Apart from the bullshit images he takes with me from time to time for appearances sake, the man wishes he can close his eyes and just wish me away. Regardless of how impossible it is he does try his best and acts like I don’t exist anyway besides if I’m being fair, a teenage son who you suddenly reappear into his life after fifteen years and discover he has a foul mouth, a sour attitude and a way too sarcastic soul could be a handful. My sperm donor of a father’s parents are really religious hence I’m just a symbol of sin. A remembrance that their son once disgraced them with a woman who uses shells to barely cover her nudity on magazines.”

I shrugged, “Well fuck them all.”

He sighs, “Trust me I have been acing the fuck you path for the past seven years and regardless of how hard it is to admit some times I just wished my family is normal you know.” He eyes me, “No offence to your dressing and all but this is not a cliche movie where I wish I wore oil-stained clothes like yours and hand-me-downs because the baby boy treatment and cash that comes from being rich is really dope and all__”

And there it was. My first decent, real laughter produced by a boy who was strange as fuck, broken and sounded detached from life but you know what they say about two broken souls who fit at that moment like a missing jigsaw puzzle pieces. We found each other and laughed so hard, at life, ourselves and all the things that had broken us.