I Am The Luna

Jai’s.

A flare of pain rushes through me and I’m about to rush over and snatch it from his hand when he speaks.

“This is him, isn’t it? The man I killed.”

My eyes flash, pain and guilt coursing through me. “Yeah, it is. Forgotten what he looks like?” I ask coldly, snatching the picture from him, my heart thundering.

“I killed many in that battle. They were but a number… I never remember the faces of those I kill, anyway. They end up all looking the same…

“Yeah, a killer with no remorse,” I say bitterly, feeling angrier at myself than at him. He killed Jai and I’m here watching movies and offering him coffee. I gaze down at Jai’s face, my heart breaking.

I’m so sorry….

“He didn’t love you enough.”

His words gut me and it feels as if I have been slapped across my face.

“He didn’t, or he would have been right here with you.”

“Because you killed him!” I snarl, closing the gap between us and pushing him with everything I have. He staggers back a little, but he’s still as emotionless and unbothered as always. “You clearly don’t care! You’re just a murderer!”

“Sure… I knew you were pretty clueless when it came to war and battle, but I didn’t realise you’re so uneducated on the matter. Deaths happen… just the way you all blew up hundreds of men who had no choice but to join in… I don’t see you and your people being called killers for that, right?”

“You attacked us! We defended!” I scream, feeling my blood boil.

“Yeah, sure. But believe me or not, he didn’t love you enough or he would have been here.”

“He died protecting someone! He’s a hero, and he’s selfless. He didn’t bother about himself! Unlike you, he put others first!” I spit.

“As I said, his duty and conscience were more important than you… that was proved when he willingly sacrificed himself for a man who had no one anyway,”

“Hugh has Zaia!” I snarl.

“Yeah… and she has her man, her kids and her dad now. Lucky her. Who do you have?”

Each sentence is hitting me like a punch in the stomach.

“I have my friends and family, too.” I snarl.

He now advances on me, his good eye glimmering. Content provided by NôvelDrama.Org.

“He may have saved Toussaint, but he left you to suffer, alone.”

“He didn’t… he…” my eyes blur with tears, the pain of losing Jai always remained but I can’t deny that he’s saying the things that deep down in my moments of darkest grief have gnawed at me. “When I was in a coma, he looked after me. He

me.”

didn’t have to, but he did!”

His hand wraps around my throat, but I’m not afraid of him as i glare at him with rage and hurt. Why is he so calm?

How can he even think like that? The pain inside of me is almost crippling.

“Yeah, because deep down the guilt of cheating on you remained,” he whispers almost mockingly before he scoffs. “Think whatever you want, but the truth is, if a man can’t put you before the world, then he is nothing more than a hero who didn’t deserve love.”

“Exactly, he’s a hero! That’s something you will never be!” I hiss, glaring up at him. “Jai would have died for me.”

“You’re right, I’ll never be like him, cus I wouldn’t want to be… like you said, he’d die for you. The thing is, Little Mate, what good am I to you dead?” 2

“You don’t-”

“I’ll show myself out,” he whispers before he lets go of me and leaves.

My heart is pounding as I stand there, hearing the patio door shut as I close my eyes. My emotions are an inferno within me.

I drop onto the floor, looking at the picture of Jai. His brilliant blue eyes gaze back at me until my tears blur them away.

I loved you Jai… but how is it that something inside of me is pulling me towards your killer?

Life is hard.

Death is harder.

But love? Love is the hardest.

VALERIE.