I Am The Luna

All i see is the look in her eyes as she raised the gun and shot me.

I’ve lost her.

She will never forgive me, and why should she?

I brought this on myself….

The same thoughts circle my mind, slamming me with the brutal truth of what I have done. Spinning, screaming, and shouting as they whirl around my head; and

there’s nothing I can do but accept it.

I was close to death after she shot me, but Gerard refused to let me die, although

both Gaultier and Zade didn’t mind if I did.

All I remember was Gerard saying he would not let me die and if anything

happened, they would all suffer the consequences.

I now stare out at the moon through the skylight. Night has fallen, but it’s just another painful day gone. Another day that I am haunted by the memories of the Alpha Queen shooting me without any hesitation.

I deserved that.

There was a moment she was shocked… but it was just a secondary reaction. She didn’t turn back as she left the room, but I shouldn’t be expecting anything, anyway.

When the one who pushed her to this was none other than me.

How many times have I betrayed her trust? Far too many times.

I know that… but then why do I sit here thinking of her day and night? With every day that passed I realised that, that I don’t think I could live without her. Which

doesn’t matter anyway, this isn’t about me….

The guilt of every fucking stupid decision I’ve made, the regret of every fucking time. I’ve caused her pain, claws at me. Ripping me apart with guilt and regret from the

inside.

She deserves so much fucking better. Yet I know that she loved me, and I destroyed…

her faith in me repeatedly. I can feel my wolf’s agony inside of me, his anguish at the fact I do not have her nearby.

I don’t deserve her, not anymore… she was too good for me from the start… and

although I thought I did good, all I did was fucking hurt her.

I’ll never forget the way her lavender eyes were full of pain.

My head drops as I feel the stinging in my eyes as my vision blurs.

Why did I always fuck up even when all I want is the best for those I love?

“What is going on?!” Gaultier’s distant snarl makes me look towards the doors.

Something must have happened…

I stand up, silently making my way to the door and open it. They’re probably

watching me in this room, anyway.

I try to be careful, but I also know they will never fully trust me, regardless.

Gaultier slams his fist into the wall as Zade growls at him.

“Calm the fuck down. Welet…” he trails off when he sees me.

“We can’t what?” I ask, walking over to them, and shoving my hands into the pockets

of my pants.

“You don’t need to fucking know. Aren’t you meant to be resting?” he says.

sarcastically.

“I’m healed,” I reply coldly, although due to the poison in the bullet, I am still not

fully recovered, but I am getting there.

“Good, so fuck off.” Gaultier snarls.

“Alright, I’ll just go ask Gerard what the fuck is going on,” I shoot back coldly, about

to turn away when Zade grabs my forearm. Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.

“Hey… listen, this doesn’t involve you,” Zade warns.

“Or it does. Don’t you think it’s strangely fucking coincidental that now of all fucking times they figured out the cameras?” He spits, now looking at me accusingly.

I don’t react, cocking a brow. “Cameras? What are we talking about?”

Sc, they understood the message. Excellent. This will help them get a step ahead instead of being spied on all the damn time.

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