Chapter 266
Thea
I had just told Florentine that I didn’t have the courage to talk about the child I lost and then I heard Angel behind us. The fear that gripped me knowing that I had to talk about my pain and not just it but letting Angel know that he would have been a father. I knew this would hurt him and after everything that had happened I was scared to know how much it would.
At least I got a chance to be with our child but he never got the chance to, what could be more painful?
I really couldn’t catch my breath with the shock I had just experienced from almost being caught, so when Florentine had wanted to leave me there with him I had to escape one way or the other by feigning annoyance when what I truly felt was relieve.
I knew I had exposed one truth, which was the fact that he still owned my heart without even trying, I knew knowing this would change a lot for Angel and maybe me. What if he never let go?
A loud knock startled me, taking me away from my thought. I turn towards my door where another loud knock resounds.
My heart skips a beat, I just felt it in my soul that it was Angel at my door. I wished he’d let me be, I didn’t want to talk about my feelings for him today.
“Thea open the door!” He yelled from outside and I was shaken from his tone. Why was he sounding so determined like he’d break it if I didn’t? This was all fault, I shouldn’t have blabbed my mouth outside where anyone could hear me. Unfortunately that person was Angel. “Thea, open the damn door!” He yelled again.
“Go away!” I yell back clutching my dress while feeling nervous. I move towards the door to pay more attention if he decides to leave.
“We need to talk Thea.” He says in a rather low tone. I place my hand over the door leaning closely to it.
“I don’t want to.” I say, biting down on my lips. I whispered a prayer for him to leave and it seemed like that prayer was answered because silence enveloped the place like he had gone. I find myself getting teary again. These days I cry so much like it were part of my daily routine.
I chuckle wiping off my tear and relaxing my back on the door.
“Stop being silly Thea, stop crying.” I said wiping more tears from my eyes. I sit down on the floor while resting my back on the door. I still couldn’t control my tears so I burst out into more.
Things could have been better and none of us would have to go through the pains we went through or currently going through. If only Angel had believed me….
I sniff back my tears realizing that Angel really did leave but I needed to be sure so I held the door knob getting ready to open the door.
“Angel?” I call but it’s silent outside. “Are you there?” I ask and receive nothing. I decide to open the door as last a confirmation that he wasn’t there so I did.
First, it was a shocking silence as I looked at the figure before me. It was Angel staring right into my eyes. I gasped, sighed and blinked nervously. I found my body trembling and the blood from my face drained.
He was still here, he never left….
Getting a grip of myself I try to close the door as quickly as I could but Angel was quicker and stronger. He held the door back from shutting and I struggle to push it close.
“A-Angel go away p-please.” I break out in tears.
“Thea stop it and let me speak with you.” I shake my head in refusal but then I noticed he had one hand on the door. My fingers grew weak instantly realizing that he could easily have his way in if he tried more. He was only trying to give me a chance to let him on on my accord.
Seeing that my grip was now weak on the door, Angel seized the opportunity to push it further giving him access into my room. I shuffle into my room while he steps in and shuts the door behind him. His eyes never left mine as he began to walk towards me.
“Why are doing this?” I ask in a teary voice but realized something different. Knowing that I was still in love with him was probably the greatest news for him but instead he looked devastated and I noticed his eyes, they were red and wet like he had cried before coming here. Why was he looking miserable. Something wasn’t right.
“Why do you look like that?”
“Is there something I need to know Thea?”
I am speechless as I look at him trying to figure out what he meant by that. He clearly heard me back there.
“Do I need to say it again?”
“I need to hear it from you.” He insist and I chuckle sadly. Did he know how difficult things had been for me. If he had a conscience he wouldn’t be asking me to admit to it again.
“You heard it back there.” I said as if to remind him but he nods and tucks in his lips which I try to ignore because it brought tickles to my heart.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He said and I’m left confused. Why was he dragging the whole thing? I already admitted to my feelings back there for him!
“Tell you what exactly?” I yell breathing heavily. I blink to stop tears from spilling again but as always I fail as the tears fell on their own accord. I wipe off my tears but then a deeper sadness clouds Angel’s expression. Was it guilt for the way he treated me? I watch him pry his lips slowly to say something but he kept on gulping hard as if the words were difficult for him to say.
“Is it true… is it true that….”
“That what?” I say flaring my hands in the air. He couldn’t utter the word and I wondered why. “That I’m still in love with you after everything?” I yell and to my surprise tears began spilling his eyes. He weeps silently but I don’t stop.
“… That my heart beats for you even when I hate it and try to stop it. That I can get over you no matter how hard I try Angel?” I say feeling annoyed at myself because deep down I knew he was going to get away with hurting me because I was stupid in love. With everyday that I spent close to this man I couldn’t find the courage for revenge. My own tears start streaming down my face.
“You think it’s easy being me? Because it’s easy being you. Do what you do and still manage to hold my heart captive.” I say but he still remains silent getting me frustrated.
“There you go, isn’t that why you are here? To hear me confess this much?”
He’s driving me insane with his silence but then he takes a step further to me and I get nervous all over again.
“And what’s the second thing you are hiding from me?” He said and I blink severally feeling confused. I laugh silently. What sort of puzzle was he playing?
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“What is the reason you hate me so much Thea?” He says raising his voice. I bite down on my lip knowing the reason I did but I chose to pretend. Like I said, I didn’t have the courage to talk about our child.
“Isn’t it obvious? Don’t act a fool.” I scold hoping he’d think of something else, maybe the fact that he slept with Natalia. That was a second major reason I hated him after my child. Those two hurt more than the beating and starvation I faced.
“Why didn’t you tell me Thea? Why didn’t you shove it to my face?”
“Shove what?” I yell.
“That you were carrying my child!” Angel yelled pointing an angry finger at me. I blink and gulp while hearing the sound of my saliva as it moved. It was like everything went faint and I could feel and hear things within me. Like now, the sound of my thudding heart.
I am struck with shock, like everything I had been running from came pouncing on me. I clutch my dress tightly paying more attention to the misery on Angel’s face. So this was why he looked that way.
“H-how did you know that?” I stutter. He gasps dipping his head then raises it back to face me. I could see how much he struggled with the truth.
“Florentine mentioned… Why did you hid it from me Thea?” He cried and I soaked in my own tears as well. The pain of loosing our baby tore me to this day. “Why did you let me punish you till you lost our child?”
“You weren’t supposed to know that.” I whisper.
“Now I do?” He says and Turns away from me. He had his palm wiping his face and then he trailed his finger into his hair releasing his frustration.
Guilt washed over me because I felt responsible. If only I had listened to Florentine and told him but I was afraid that he wouldn’t believe me.
I let him have his moment, he was hurting badly. I didn’t know how much this would break him. Angel turns back to me and I avoid his gaze quickly.
“It happened the day of the party, you were supposed to take pills once we got back. It was then. Why didn’t you let me know?” He continued.
“Would you have believed me? Would you?” I finally speak raising my voice at him.
“You should have spoken to me first!”
“I was afraid okay!” I cried. ” I was scared that you’d hurt our baby. You accused Carl of being my lover didn’t you? How was I to know you would believe it was yours?”
“I would never have hurt an innocent child!”
“Oh Really?” I laugh in mockery. “You hurt it’s mother whom you claimed to love. You didn’t trust me even when I begged.” I said to tickle his memory in case he had forgotten how I begged but he never listened. This talk was hurting me more than I imagined. I felt my heart being rippled all over again. The wounds I was hoping to heal were being opened up.
Angel nods. “I guess I was truly a monster. Go ahead, blame me, hit me, yell at me! I deserve your hate.” I bit my lips hard as I had the Taste of tears on my tongue.
“Tell me I didn’t deserve to be a father, maybe that’s why we lost it. It’s all because of me!” Angel cried pointing the accusatory finger on himself.
“Would it bring our baby back? Would it? You could rewind time and not ask me to come to your room that day, not invite Lola over and kiss her!”
“I didn’t kiss Lola.” He denied it when I saw it with my own eyes. The audacity to lie to my face. I scoff in disbelieve.
“I saw you.”
“That’s the point, you misunderstood me just like I did with you.”
“You’re lying.”
“I admit I had sex with Natalia but I didn’t kiss Lola.” He said and I sigh feeling messed up in the head. “… And everytime I did it with Natalia I always thought about you because I couldn’t get you out of my head.”
“Stop! Stop calling her name. Don’t fucking say her name again!” I cry bitterly. He really came here to puncture my wounds. “Do you even realize how that hurt me? And now you’re saying you didn’t kiss Lola. Why can’t you admit to that if you admit to sleeping with your whore?”Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.
“Thea… I swear to you I didn’t kiss Lola. She kissed me.” He said and I blinked as I looked at it from this point of view. I remembered that day vividly. How their lips were locked and how he pushed her away the moment we he saw me.
I even thought about it, why did he need to push Lola away if his intentions were to hurt me with it? Things were beginning to add up now. What if I truly misunderstood the situation just like he did with me.
Misunderstandings were a big thing because it cost us our love and trust.
“Wait, what are you saying?” I ask to be sure of what he was saying.
“She came into my room even when I had instructed she remained waiting for me. She had come to see me that day but I already asked Florentine to get you to my room before I knew of her arrival.” Angel said and I almost lost my balance. If this were true then another misunderstanding caused us a great lose. If I had known I wouldn’t have felt so heartbroken and had that breakdown which led to the lose of our child.
“I pushed her away because I didn’t want to kiss her but you didn’t believe me either.” I shake my head in tears, Knowing this could have been avoided.
“It doesn’t matter who kissed who. It was my fault anyway. I didn’t deserve such a precious gift from you Thea and I’m really sorry that you had to fall in love with a man like me.” He said and before I could utter a word he had his back against me and was heading towards the door.
“Angel….” I muttered. He refused to answer and shut the door behind him. I wanted to stay back in my room but I felt disturbed so I went after him. He was already some distance away from me. “Angel!” I called seeing he wasn’t going to his room or office but he was heading to the road leading outside the mansion. “Angel where are you going?” I asked but he wouldn’t say a thing. I stood there while I watched him leave then I heard Florentine’s voice from behind me.
“Thea, what happened.” She asked showing concern. I shake my head unable to speak so she holds me in her arms consoling me. Soon, we heard the sound of engines coming to life. I pull away from her embrace and move towards the entrance while she followed. There I stood and watched as Angel drove out.
“Florentine….” I call turning to her. ” I’m scared of Angel driving in this condition.” I air my worry and the same concern reflects in her eyes which scares me even more.