Chapter 194
Thea
The shock I experienced when Florentine dropped the bomb of a news to me still lingered into the night. I couldn’t yet believe it, I had a human growing inside of me. I touched my belly from time to time trying to feel it but I couldn’t, instead I just felt a connection to my child with every heartbeat.Property © NôvelDrama.Org.
As promised, Irene didn’t request for me the entire day but I was to resume work the next day. Florentine had expressed her worry over it, that it could be harmful to the child if I stressed myself out. I was new at this and even though I could bear to have my baby hurt I still couldn’t stop working otherwise the truth would be known to Angel and I feared him for what he would do to our child.
It wasn’t likely that he’d believe it belonged to him, I couldn’t risk it. Maybe, when it became difficult to contain the truth I’d have the courage to plead with him to spare it and have a paternity test once it was born.
“I need to be strong for us, and I need you to be strong for me.” I whispered my words with my hands placed on my belly. I was talking to my baby and I hoped it heard me or at least felt the love that blossomed in my heart.
This child gave me a reason to live and to be happy amidst my wrecking situation. It was strange yet fulfilling because I felt I had a companion but what I hated to admit was that I felt Angel’s presence in my life through it.
He was the father after all and tonight I was feeling vulnerable.
I walked outside enjoying the cool air of the night, I couldn’t sleep because of the excitement I felt for my new status. I smiled widely feeling my belly again, I was going to be a mother but I had mixed emotions.
Was I ready to be one? As far as I was concerned I still needed some growing to do mentally to be one. I was formerly a stripper so what did I know about being a mother? I didn’t want to turn out bad, I didn’t want my child to detest me for even a day. I knew as a teenager I detested my mother when she tried to stop me from going wayward. I ran away from home sometimes, had sex as I pleased and began stripping despite the level the good life my mum gave me.
I just wanted to be free and wild and at a point she had to to succumb to me because she didn’t want to lose her only child
Right now, I felt guilty, more guilty than I ever felt because of everything I put my mother through especially sleeping with her husband.
It all made sense now, everything that was happening to me was probably my well deserved Karma because what child treats their mother whom they claimed to love that way?
The fact that I was having my own child was definitely a mockery by the universe because I never saw that happening. I hoped this child had a good life. It mattered more than anything right now to me.
“Hmm… A perfect spot baby.” I said and giggled at my weirdness. I had sighted a short fence which I felt would be nice to sit over and enjoy the night.
I let myself down to it letting my legs dangle in the air, I placed my hands on the grass floor behind it while enjoying the cool breeze that slapped gently across my face.
I closed my eyes shortly and images of Angel and I flooded into my head. I shot my eyes open immediately.
‘No Thea, we shouldn’t go there’
I said to myself, the memories we shared were too intense and blissful to dwell on, it melted my heart and the hate I felt for Angel.
It was quite funny to me now, I said I hated Angel and yes I did for everything he had done to me yet I loved him like crazy that even the hate couldn’t overshadow that.
A tear stung my eyes and spilled through the corners of my eyes which I wiped immediately.
What was this emotions surfacing? Why did I miss him so much tonight? I should only hate him and nothing more but I missed his touch, his scent, the way he smiled at me, the way he looked at me. How he took care of me, how we made love with so much passion.
How he loved me….
“Gosh! Thea, stop it.” I pleaded with myself wiping off the tears that streamed down my eyes. Was this a side effect of the pregnancy? Why did I feel weak to control my emotions tonight? I tried to dwell on the thoughts of my suffering but my desires were fighting hard this time.
“Fine! I love him, I’m still so in love with him!”
I yelled letting the words out because suppressing it was suffocating.
I startled suddenly as the sound of approaching footsteps stole my attention.
Shit! Was someone there all along? I stood up hastily wiping my dress and peering to see the figure of anyone then my heart thud violently as I sighted a figure of a man in white sleeved up shirt and a black pants.
I blinked severally then squinted my eyes to be sure of the image that registered in my eyes.
“Oh my goodness!”
I muttered moving back hoping there was a way to escape from here but unfortunately the only way was to pass by that very man who was no other than Angel, the father of my child.
I sighed heavily almost out of breath, my lips and fingers quivered as I stared at him making his way through the pathway to me.
How do I face him? Did he hear me? Why did I feel so worried that he did? Goodness! How long has he been here?
My head flooded with unanswered questions and my panic grew by each one of them.
I gulped a huge lump as I felt the tip of my fingers going cold. My head felt dizzy, maybe I should jump through the fence but what if I fell on my belly and hurt my child?
Damn it! Just stay still Thea! I yelled within myself and strangely I felt my panic reduce to some extent and for the first time I noticed something different from the way Angel walked. He was approaching slowly but he didn’t have so much coordination in his steps.
I became suspicious untill it dawned on me, those were the steps of someone who was slightly drunk. I felt calmer seeing he was in that state then I could just pass him and hopefully he wouldn’t really care.
I steadied myself as Angel got closer and the air reeked of alcohol. He stopped a few distance from me and raised his head to look at me.
For the first time in a while I felt entrapped in his gaze.
We stood there, opposite each other, just watching.
Today unlike the other day, he didn’t have so much anger and hatred in his eyes for me and his eyes weren’t clear either, they looked drowsy but he seemed to be trying hard to keep them opened.
I bit my lip feeling my heart drumming not in fear or nervousness but in love.
This man standing right here before me, he looked different. Yes, because he looked like the man who was in love with me. The man who cared deeply for me and wouldn’t hurt me.
I was genuinely in love with him in his good and his bad. It was indeed an unbelievable feeling.
“Angel….” I called but it came out as a whisper and I doubt he could hear me, he took more steps closer and I quickly averted his gaze, staring down to the ground and gripping my dress.
I could perceive a faint scent from him which the alcohol tried to subdue and it made me long for his embrace even more.
“Mmm….” He groaned and I was compelled to look back up at him. Even in his drunk state he looked so handsome and hot. His body movement had a sexual appeal to it and I had no idea why.
I looked at his bare chest peeking out from his buttoned down shirt and I felt the urge to touch it.
I raised my fingers to his chest and they shook slightly as overwhelming sensations coursed through my body and deep emotions flooded into my heart.
I withdrew my hands unable to touch him then my eyes trailed to his lips.
I wanted to kiss him.
I shook my head hopping to get rid of the thoughts but it was imprinted in my mind and heart and it took everything within me to decide to leave.
I wondered why he wasn’t saying anything. Did he know I was the one? I took one last picture of his image in my mind and proceeded to leave but his hoarse voice filled the air and his hand grabbed me sending waves of sensations through me.
My eyes bulged in shock and I gasped yet I couldn’t turn to look at him but I felt him turning towards me.
“Where are you going?”