Chapter 36
I woke up with a heavy feeling in my chest. Despite the late hour I had crashed into my bed and the ridiculous amounts of alcohol I had consumed, I woke up relatively early, a sudden wave of dread washing away all remnants of sleep. Diana of course was sleeping peacefully, knocked out cold with a bottle still clutched in her hands. I smiled to myself at her sleeping form, remembering how surprised I was last night by her brash and crude nature. The older you get, the less f***s you give.
I slipped on a white robe over my nightgown, quietly tiptoeing out the room. I wanted some quiet time to reflect. Noticing people milling about the gardens, I turned around and headed towards the library.
As I expected, it was empty and quiet, the smell of old pages and worn leather oddly comforting.
I slumped onto a nearby sofa, leaning back to close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose, feeling a pressure begin to form at the back of my eyelids.
I heard quiet footsteps tentatively step into the large room, probably in awe over the rows of towering bookcases that I was too distracted to appreciate.
I didn't open my eyes and hoped they would go away or avoid me, wanting to wallow in my misery before I'd have to put my mask back on.
I had no such luck.
If anything, it was the one person I had hoped to avoid for another day that carefully approached me. His footsteps halted abruptly and not detecting any further movements from him, I opened my eyes to meet his gaze. "Aurelius," I acknowledged in a clipped tone.
"Artemis," he breathed. For a second he looked conflicted, glancing unsurely at the empty loveseat opposite me. I just stared at him, waiting for his next move since I wasn't in any mood to engage him.
He eventually took the seat, carefully watching my reaction as if I'd snap at him for approaching me.
I scoffed. I wasn't him.
A beat or two of silence passed between us before he cleared his throat. "Artemis, I know this might not mean much and it isn't enough, but I'm sorry," his cerulean eyes were dark and swimming with remorse as they darted between mine. "You're right," I mused. "It isn't enough."
He winced but carried on.
"What I did to you was wrong on so many levels. I was caught up in my own head that I didn't realise what I was doing," he sighed. "I let my fear control me like a coward,"
"That's it Aurelius," his eyes snapped back up to mine. "It wasn't just me that was rotting in those cells, there were other people in there, wrongfully punished," I scowled.
He gaped at me, probably surprised at the direction I took the conversation but I continued.
"Everyone that I freed from your prisons was undeserving of the harsh and cruel treatment inflicted on them, under your commands," I snarled, thinking back to the days where I had snuck into the cells to give food and drink to everyone who had all been left to
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He had the audacity to wince and look down ashamed, falling silent once again while I put my cool and indifferent mask back on.
"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I will do everything in my power to show you I am no longer the man you ran away from," I eyed him warily, surprised by the conviction in his voice.
"Does this sudden change in attitude have anything to do with my new position?" I asked, raising a brow. Being mated to a spirit wolf would undoubtedly bring more power and strength to Aurelius and his pack. As the only unmarked spirit wolf, I had received plenty of propositions from very eager alphas yesterday.
"What? No!" He yelled defensively. "Do you really think I'd stoop so low?" He countered.
"I don't know what to think Aurelius. You didn't leave a particularly good impression on me," I hissed. He quietened at that and leaned back in his seat, deep in thought.
"You want to come back to the pack. Why?" He asked quietly.
"Because I have a duty to them as the rightful Luna. I'm not going to abandon my responsibilities just because you have driven me away," I stated. He sighed once again, the bags under his eyes and the scruff on his face making him look so much older all of a sudden.
"Is that the only reason you're coming back?"He questioned with a small voice.
"Well yes," I replied, furrowing my brow. I could see he was about to say something and I didn't have the energy to discuss these matters right now so I spoke again. "I don't want to discuss details right now, I have another ceremony to attend tonight," I sighed, rubbing my temples.
"Another ceremony? There's wasn't anything else on the itinerary," he murmured to himself.
"It's a private event. Just the Elders and spirit wolves as well as their mates," I let the last words trail off, suddenly conflicted as I realised what my words would mean. I glanced at Aurelius and noticed he was stiff in his seat, but his eyes were curious. "What's the ceremony for?" He asked cautiously.
"Diana, the wolf that I took over from, is retiring," I swallowed thickly. "She's being summoned by the moon goddess," It took a moment but eventually, realisation dawned on his face as he finally understood what I meant. He looked hesitant and unsure, probably trying to ask the obvious question.
"I'm not going to stop you from joining the ceremony. As my mate, you have every right to attend," I swallowed.
I had to remain diplomatic so I pushed away my warring emotions to do what was expected of me.
The hurt and and scorned part of me wanted to ban him from ever intruding on such an intimate ceremony where I would be vulnerable under such emotional duress.
The other part of me, albeit small, wanted him to stand beside me and offer me some comfort and the strength to let the old woman go.
I decided to leave the ball in his court, it was his choice to show up or not. I did my part on informing him so I would not be responsible over his actions.
Gosh, being responsible and rational was downright exhausting.
"What time will it be?" I snapped out of my thoughts to answer him.
"It starts just before midnight. Dress code is causal black. It's in the gardens," He nodded thoughtfully at my words. It was the end of our conversation since I wasn't willing to speak anymore with the new tension headache I was sporting.
"Artemis," I looked up at the sound of my name, giving him a questioning look. "Please don't hurt Apollo or Genevieve for my mistakes," my confused face must have prompted him to continue explaining what he meant.
"You have every right to be upset with me, but Apollo and Gen didn't do anything wrong. They miss you and they want to talk to you," I let out a breath I hadn't known I had been holding, admittedly a little surprised at his words.
He was defending his friends which was rather honourable of him.
I shook off my thoughts and answered. "Of course, I already know that," I murmured. He seemed pleased with my answer, nodding to himself before getting up.
"I'll see you later Artemis," he promised before quietly departing, leaving me alone with my thoughts.