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Chapter 31

“Love yourself, Like the clouds love rain, love yourself like the moon loves the sky. Or just find the version of how you love people and then shower that same love upon yourself because you are a person too.”

…..

[Jacqueline’s POV:]

As I opened my eyes and looked around the white walls of the room made me feel depressed, I found three other girls sleeping on the beds that were placed corresponding to mine with white sheets covering up to their chin. I wasn’t sure how long I must have been sleeping here. There seems to be very little light coming from outside. While the room was illuminated by the bluish fluorescent light. The windows were covered with thick heavy blue curtains.

‘Why am I here?’

It suddenly dawned on me that I had blacked out when Jaan was talking to me, or rather when he was hara**ing me.

“That stupid jerk.” I clenched my hands and wiggled them from the side but immediately felt a shock as something sharp pricked my skin and I hissed. Something that felt like a needle.

‘Needle?’ I looked towards my side noticing the cannula in my hand. The needle almost was on the verge of bending when I loosened it.

swallowing hard I allowed myself to accept, I was in the medical room. But who would have brought me here?

‘Jaan?’

My subconscious voice scoffed at me, and I immediately found the idea ridiculous. It was impossible.

‘Even if I was dying, and he got the antidote he will never help me.’

A 40-year-old woman in a white lab coat entered through the door, the sunlight pouring from behind her silhouette.

With few steps, she was inside the room and glanced at every bed. Her big-black eyes stopped at my form.

She smiles.

I smile back.

“Hey. How are you feeling kid?”

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“Eh?”

Very Gently she pops down on the stool nearest to my bed. Her brown curls flowing with the wind.

“I asked you how are you feeling now?”

“I am fine. Thank you.”

“Hmm. Let’s see.”

She said as she drew out a small notebook from the pocket of her coat.

Hesitatingly I ask in a small voice.

“Why am I getting an infusion?”

Flipping through the pages, she stops at one. Her eyes looking up at me again.

“You are malnourished, it seems you might not have eaten anything from yesterday. Also, your body is dehydrated and all the result of that is you fainted two hours ago in the school playground.”

‘It makes sense, I haven’t eaten anything in dinner, I forgot about lunch though.’

She gave me some time to absorb her words as if I didn’t know about them.

‘Or maybe she just wants you to realize what you are doing with your health.’ My brain taunted me and I exhaled.

“I forgot to eat dinner last night. Miss.?”

“Mrs. Natasha.”

I nod at her.

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“Mrs. Natasha it must have been because of it.”

She sighs heavily, her eyes filling with pity as she scanned me from head to toe. And I felt as if a camera lens was scanning me.

“Look Beta(Kid).” She says smiling.

“Indeed your condition might have worsened because of skipping last night’s meal. But the effect your body is showing is not the outcome of not eating a day or few days. You are severely malnourished, which means you are not eating properly for years.”

I look down at my phone, feeling the tears welling in my eyes.

She sighs again.

“Look at me, Jacqueline.”

Biting my lip, I control my emotions and take a deep breath. Locking my gaze on her wrinkled but beautiful face.

She looks at me seriously for some time pausing.

“Is it because you are fat? Are you starving yourself because you want to get lean?”

The air suddenly feels heavy. How does she know? No one knows that! But how can she understand that?

I look away noticing the color of the door. It was brown woody, with a golden handle it was a blend of shade from light brown to darker brown.

“Jacqueline Honey. Please look at yourself. Can you see if not eating had done you any good honey? Life is too short to hurt your body to fit those beauty standards set by people. You are beautiful.”

My eyes shot up to hers once again. She finds me beautiful.

‘Hah. Is she blind?’

She narrows her eyes, that we’re br****** with sympathy.

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“It’s not like that Mrs. Natasha.”

She steps forward towards me, pointing her hand to my wrist. I could see her little facial hair and smell her perfume. It was earthly and nothing fancy.

“Stop lying honey, The scar on your wrist is screaming you are having suicidal tendencies.”

I froze, not daring to breathe. A gnawing feeling to scratch my wrist rose in me. My eyes itching to check the scar she was talking about. But I refused to do that. Checking it will only mean admitting it. The emptiness hollowed out my feelings and I matched her stare.

“I. Yet My tongue seemed to be beaten up to speak anything other than a single letter.

I knew I have torn my flesh with my knife and had counted calories so much that my flesh could align with the stranger’s mind, but listening to it from the tongue of a person I just met. Hurts. It hurts.

Subduing my emotions, I tried to stand up When she spoke again. Her tone seemed too soft as if she was aware of what I was going through.

“I can help you, Jacqueline.”

‘Could she? Huh. No one can help me, people are cruel vicious creatures. They will just laugh at me.’

Trying to keep the pride that was left within me, I straightened my back and cleared my clouded brows.

“Thank you for taking care of me Mrs. Natasha. I need to go now.” Surprisingly my words didn’t waver while my tone seemed to feel like I was restricting myself from being rude.

‘One thing I hated most in people was their superficial pity. Even if I die, I will never like it.’

With the certainty of tides, I turn around wanting to leave the room when she spoke again. Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

“I wasn’t pitying you, Jacqueline. I want to help because I have been through that, I know how it feels.”

My steps paused, my shoulders fell together with tears. And I knew if I didn’t leave the room right that second I would have a breakdown in front of her.

I didn’t stop, while I heard her steady footsteps towards me. The door opens with a thump and I found myself gazing at the boy with grat**ude.