Hatred With Benefits

S E V E N T Y - S E V E N

EVA.

"Baby. " The voice echoes around me and a groan leave my lips as I turn my head to the side, only for

it to come again. "Eva. " My chest drops and I slowly open my eyes to see him hovering over me with a

smile on his face.

"Hey, babe. " He grins at me, lifting his hand to my face to tuck a strand of my hair away and I shake

my head, struggling to believe the sight of him. "You're here. How can you be here?"

"I'm here for you, baby. " He whispers, leaning forward to brush his lips against my temple and the

familiar shudder rushes through my body. A breath of relief leaves my lips as I speak, "You're here.

You're really here. You're here with me. "

"That's right, Eva; I'll always be here with you. " He responds and a small smile graces my lips as I

raise my hand and let it cover his. "I can feel you. You're here. "

"I'm here. " He repeats, and I hum. "Kiss me. "

"You need to go back to sleep, baby. " He says instead and I shake my head, "No, I don't want to. I

want you to kiss me. I want to taste your lips. Kiss me, Emerson. "

Once again, he disagrees. "No, Eva. You need to go back to sleep. I want you to close your eyes and

have your rest. "

"But I want you to—" he interrupts me, "Shh, baby. Close your eyes. "

"No, I can't. I can't do that. " I stammer and he says, "You need to close your eyes, baby. "

"I can't, " I choke on my words. "I— I can't. Please, don't make me close them. Don't make me look

away. You'll leave. You'll leave me again if I close them; please don't make me do that. "

"You want me to stay?" He asks and I nod my head twice. "I do. Please stay with me. Don't leave. Don't

make me close my eyes. Stay right by my side as you've always done. Don't make me go through that

again; it hurts. It hurts so much. "

"I'm not leaving you, baby. I just need you to close your eyes. "

"No. No, please. " A whimper leaves my lips as tears burn my eyes and he says, "Close your eyes,

Eva. "

"No, please. " I insist, turning my head sideways to prove my opposition to the words. "I don't want to.

Please. I—"

"Eva! Eva, open your eyes!"

"No, I need to keep them—"

"Goddamn it! Eva, open your eyes!" The voice is different. It isn't soothing like his. It doesn't bring relief,

and it doesn't lessen the pain. This voice isn't Emerson's.

Emerson is..." Emerson? Emerson, please. "

"What's wrong with her?" There's another voice. Loud and alarmed.

"I don't know. I woke up to her like this, and she isn't opening her eyes. "

Open my eyes? No, I don't want to keep them closed. I can't lose—

"Eva. Baby, open your eyes. Eva, please. " No. No, please, don't ask me to–

"Eva!" I jump out of bed, darkness covering my vision before it starts to fade and the first sight I'm

welcomed with is Aliya holding onto my hand with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Eva, oh God!" She calls out when her eyes meet mine and wrap an arm around my neck, bringing me

into her chest. "You got me so scared. I thought something was—" the rest of her words come out as

short pants as she pulls back and cups my face in her hands, wiping the skin with her thumb before

she presses my head against her chest again. "I'm so glad you're fine. You got me so worried. "

I raise my head from her shoulder and stare ahead of us to see my mom standing in front of the bed

with tears in her eyes and dad by my side.

Emerson. He wasn't here. He was never here. It was all a fucking dream; one that'll never make it to

reality?

Aliya withdraws from the hug with concern masking her expression. "Are you okay?"

"Baby, I— oh my God. " Mom rushes to my side, proceeding to grab my hand and I jerk my hand away

from the burn of her touch, to hold onto Aliya.

Silence swims around me before her voice comes again. "Eva, I—"

"Please, leave. " My voice sounds foreign to my ears as the words leave my mouth and there's another

silence.

"Princess, we're just worried about you. You can't keep us away from—" I interrupt his words and lift my

head to where Dad stands. "You too. The both of you. I want you to leave. "

"Eva, please—" mom tries again and I snap my head to her side. "Don't make something far terrible

happen before you give into my request, mom. I want you out of my room. Leave, please. "

Her tears don't stop and she swipes her hand across her cheek as she rises to her feet, "Okay. We'll

leave if you want us to, but we'll be back. Please take care of her for me, Aliya. "

I don't hear Aliya's response as they both walk out of the room, leaving me with her and she turns back

to me when their frames disappear out of sight.

"Are you okay?" She asks and I shake my head. "He was here. "

"He?" She raises a brow and I nod. "Emerson. He was here. He was in my dream; he was tormenting

me. Giving me the familiarity of his touch; false hope; false relief; false happiness. Why? Why would he

do that to me? How could he make it hurt like that?"

"I'm so sorry, babe. " She mumbles, wrapping her arms around me and I shut my eyes as my head falls

against her shoulder and my arms reach around her. "Why'd he do that? It hurts so much, Aliya. It hurts

so fucking much. I don't like it hurting like this; I feel like I'm going fucking insane. "

"Shhh, Eva. You'll be fine. I promise you. I'll stay right here with you, and you'll be fine. " She assures

me as she gives gentle pats on my back, but that doesn't stop my tears from falling, nor does it stop the

burn in my heart.

Darkness.

I've lived in this place once. I've thrived in it once to the point where I almost lost myself. Until he came

along. I thought he was here to bring me completely out of the darkness but I was wrong because he

was here to gather the little pieces of me that managed to escape back into the darkness. And I let him

succeed. And now I'm back here in the darkness. It's inside me, it's looming around me and this time;

I'm afraid I don't have it in me to fight.

I have let my guard down and Emerson Ford broke me in a way I never thought he could do.

Aliya pulls away from me, and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear before she slowly lowers me

onto the bed. She pulls the blanket to my chest and when she starts to move away, I grab her wrist.

She turns back to me and loosens my grip to take my hand in hers.

"You should head back to school. " I tell her and she shakes her head. "No, I'll stay right here with you.

"

"Aliya. Don't let me make a stop in your life. " I say and she smiles, raising her hand to brush my hair.

When she drops it, she says, "You already did the minute I brought you here. You should know I'd

never go without you, Evie so if you want me to go back to school, then you have to be fine soon for

the both of us. You have to be strong and get up again, babe. We all need you too. "

"We?" I question the word and she nods. "Me and your parents. "

"Don't mention them. " I hiss and she says, "I know you're mad at them, Eva but they're also hurting

and I'm sure they've realized their mistake by now. You're all they have, Eva so don't take that away

from them. "

"He left. He said he would never but he did. " I mumble and she grips my hand tighter. "I know, but

you'll be fine without him. "

"What if I don't want to?"

"You have to. You have to be for everyone, Eva. I know it's hard, but you'll have to try. " Try to be fine

without Emerson Ford? Why does that just sound so exhausting and out of reach? Why does it sound

like it'll take everything from me for me to be?

EMERSON.

"Emerson?" I jump and let out a breath when I turn around to see Elias standing by the kitchen

entrance with furrowed brows. "It's you. "

"What are you doing?" He asks as he strides inside and I drop my head, backing against the counter. "I

don't know. I honestly don't know. "

"Why aren't you sleeping?" He asks again and I swipe my palm down my sweaty face before I whisper,

"I couldn't. "

"You don't look so good either. " He notes as his eyes move down my body and I let out a chuckle, "I

bet I don't. " How stupid of me to think I could leave her back there to come here and spend the night

without her peacefully.

"What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?" Elias asks and I lift my gaze to him. When I give a small

bob of my head, he moves closer to me and I start to speak, "She was there, and it didn't feel good. "

"Eva?" He questions and I hum softly before I continue. "Am I stupid, Elias?"

"Why do you think so?" He asks next to me and I take a breath before I open my mouth again. "Eva.

She always has trouble sleeping without me, and I know that. Yet I left. "

"You didn't think about that before you left?" Elias says and I respond with, "I did. But I thought she

would be fine with the note and the explanation. She has trouble sleeping whenever she's scared so I Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.

thought if she understands me, then she wouldn't be scared, but now I'm here and I just had a fucking

scary dream and I—" I take another breath. "I can't help but think I made an extremely stupid decision.

"

"You're worried about her. "

"Damn right I am. " I whisper, and a sigh leaves his lips. "I don't know what to say other than you've

already made your decision, Emerson and you'll have to deal with its consequences. There's no turning

back now that you're here, and the both of you will have to endure the suffering that comes with it if you

want to make it to the end. "

"I'm just so fucking worried. What if something happens? What if she—"

"Do you want to call her to check in then?" He asks and I'm quick to shake my head. "No, that'll only

worsen things; not make them any better. "

"Then you'll have to live through this, little brother. " He tells me, pressing a hand on my arm and I

sniffle before I nod and turn around to grab the photocard on the counter.

When I meet Eli's eyes, I smile and wave it in the air, "It's her picture. I thought I'd need it and I wasn't

wrong. "

"She's beautiful. " He comments and I hum, my eyes moving across the picture. She's on the couch

with her knees pulled to her chest and her hair falling by the sides, a smile gracing the face that rests

on the knees. "She is. " I agree before I toss it back into my pocket.

"Come here. " He says, opening his arms for me and when I don't move, he chuckles and proceeds to

say, "Come on, Emerson. I can tell you need it. I know I just told you to endure it all, but you can take

this for now. " I pace closer to him and move into his arms, wrapping my arms tightly around his

shoulders and my eyes shut at the embrace of my brother with the tears finally rolling down my cheeks.

"There you have it. It's all right to cry. It's alright to not want to hold back when the bottle is full. " A sob

tears from my lips and when Elias starts to give small rubs to my back, it turns into two. And from two, it

turns into three. Till I no longer care and let everything out; every single one I've been holding back

since I arrived here.

"You'll be fine, kiddo. It'll be fine. " He whispers into the air and I tighten my hold, the image of her in my

head only bringing more tears to my eyes.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. " I mumble, repeating the words because I know they're deserved.

"Be strong!" Eli gives one last rub to my back before he pulls back with a soft smile on his face. "Much

better?" Not anytime soon.

"Thank you. " I smile at him and he gives a minor punch to my chest then another tiny slap to my face.

"Be a man. "

"I can't tell if you're intentionally hitting me, or trying to help. " I say and he laughs. "Why not do both

when I can?"

I shake my head before I turn my head, staring into space and there's silence around us with the only

sound being the fast and loud beats of my own heart before Elias's voice takes over. "Think you can

get some sleep now?"

"I don't think I'll be getting any sleep anytime soon. " I respond and he takes a while before he speaks

again, "Want to blab more about the pretty girl to me?"

I drop my gaze to his. "No, I don't. I mean, you should get back to sleep. You need it for tomorrow. "

He throws a hand over my shoulder and yanks me to his side. "Come on now, brother. I know you're

dying to tell me more about the girl, so go off. I think I have a bit of time before you bore me to death. "

"Elias. " I call and he slaps my chest before he pulls me along in the direction of the living room.