Flashbacks

Chapter 2: Trigger

The tension in the room was overwhelming. He was looking at me with his dark brown eyes like a

predator about to attack his prey, eyeing me from top to bottom then back up again. He knew he had

full control of the situation.

My hands were tied behind my back, causing me to feel even more hopeless. Still, my eyes begged

him to spare me.

“You like being a slut for daddy, don’t you?” he asked, slapping me harshly across my face. I didn’t

reply. I didn’t like him calling me slut.

My whole life, I thought he was a nice family friend. Not some sick twisted person.

I wanted to call out for help, but who would I call? I didn’t have anybody. He was the one person I

thought I could trust, but he used my trust to get to me and force me to do the things he wanted.

“Answer me, slut,” he said, slapping me harder this time.

I winced and let out a gasp at how evil he sounded, but then I quickly bit my lip. I didn’t want to make

any noise for him.

“You’re such a sick person,” I spit out. “I’ll fucking make sure people know who you really are.”

He began booming with laughter at my remark before he took out his leather rope. “You think people

are gonna believe you? You’re a slut. You asked for this. Besides, you won’t be able to tell anyone if I

kill you,” he said bitterly, laughing at the last part. “Since you wanted to be so bold, I’m gonna punish

you.”

With that, he raised the hand with the rope then slowly brought it down to my face. At least it seemed

time slowed down. And, as expected, the rope began to make contact with my skin.

-

I jolted out of my sleep, letting out a scream in vain. I immediately began looking around my room,

afraid that he would be standing next to me. He wasn’t, thankfully. But I didn’t feel any better.

I was practically drenched in sweat, my skin felt sticky. I began taking deep breaths. It was just a

dream, I tried telling myself. But it wasn’t just a dream. It was reality.

Once I realized I wasn’t exactly calming myself down, I scurried on out of bed and ran into my

bathroom. I opened the water to the tub and filled it with cold water as I took out my razor from under

the sink. I put it near the tub before I began undressing myself.

Naked, I closed the water since the tub was full. I began getting in the tub, starting with my right foot. I

couldn’t help but gasp when my skin made contact with the freezing cold water. When I managed to put

my whole body in the tub, my heart was racing. I was freezing and my teeth were ever-so-lightly

chattering.

I picked up my razor from near the tub and began slitting my wrists. In total, I drew six lines with the

razor. The cuts weren’t deep enough to permanently harm me, but deep enough so I could feel the

pain.

It felt good. Too good. But that’s how I learned to cope over the years. I probably had hundreds of cuts

around my body by now.

I ended up staying in the tub for a while, as I was lost in my thoughts. I didn’t know how long I stayed

there but I knew I stayed long enough for the blood on my arm to dry up.

I stepped out of the tub and then drained out the dirty water before I went to the shower and took a

quick shower. I scrubbed and scrubbed as hard as I could so I could feel clean again, but I still felt his

dirty hands on me. My skin began burning from the scrubbing and I ended up bleeding but that didn’t

make me stop.

After another 20 minutes of scrubbing, I got out the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I

brushed my teeth before I went back inside my room and put on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

Not once did I look at myself in the mirror.

In my room, I took a box from under my bed. The box was well hidden so it took me a moment to find it.

Once I found it, I counted the money in the box and noticed that I had almost 100,000. I still needed to

sell myself a couple more times before I’d be able to permanently leave.

I put the money back in the box and locked it before I returned it to its spot. I walked over to my desk

and saw the white card Dan had given me with his phone number. I disregarded it and instead opened

my laptop and started writing.

I don’t think I’ll ever give my characters a happy ending, since I don’t believe in them. All the shows I

watched and books I read when I was younger always had happy endings, but reality isn’t all rainbows

and sparkles.

Life is a rollercoaster. You never know what you’re gonna bump into, or if you’re going to fall off before

the ride is finished.

After a couple minutes passed, I checked how many words I wrote on the doc and felt satisfied with the

1,203. I closed my laptop then grabbed Dan’s number off of my desk and went to the kitchen so I could

make something to eat.

I felt disappointed when I realized that I forgot to go grocery shopping so the fridge was empty. I then

thought about inviting Dan to get breakfast with me. I didn’t know him like that, but he wouldn’t mind,

would he? It’d be nice to have some company…

Making up my mind, I quickly grabbed my phone and called him before I could change my mind. It took

him only three rings to answer, which surprised me because I half expected him to not answer and

ghost me.

“Hello, Dan’s speaking here. Who’s this?” he asked from the other end of the call.

“Uh, this is Linda,” I quietly answered.

He chuckled. “Hey, Linda. Using the fake name, are we?”

I nodded before I realized he couldn’t see me nod. “Yeah…”

The line went quiet for a few seconds before Dan spoke up.

“What’s up?”

“Do you want to grab breakfast with me?” I asked. “If you’re not busy, of course.”

“Yeah, of course. I’m hungry since I haven’t had lunch yet, so why not,” he replied, confusing me. Was

it afternoon already?

“Oh, yeah, my bad. I meant lunch. I’ll send you the address to the place. Bye,” I quickly said as I hung

up the phone. I sent him a text message with the address of the cafe. He replied fairly quickly, saying

he would be there in five. I didn’t know what to say so I sent him a smiling emoji instead.

I didn’t really feel like picking out a decent outfit to look nice, even though I was the one who asked him

out, so I put on some black leggings and an oversized hoodie.

I grabbed my things before I left and made my way to Alivs Cafe, the cafe I sent Dan. Inside the cafe, I

noticed that Dan was already seated at a table.

“Sorry I’m late,” I apologized, sliding into the seat in front of him.

He looked up from his phone and at me. “You’re good. I just came early.”

I couldn’t help but notice that he dressed nicely, despite the clothes being casual clothes. The jeans fit

him perfectly and the shirt he wore showed off his muscles.

“You look…good,” I complimented him.

“Thank you,” he replied with a smile. “I dunno if I could say the same for you though,” he joked, but he

wasn’t wrong. I looked like a mess.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “You look tired. And why are you wearing a hoodie when it’s hot out?”

“Let me breath for a moment,” I cut him off, chuckling.

“Sorry,” he replied sheepishly.

“It’s okay…What are you gonna order?” I asked.

“Hm, I think I want the double burger with a side of fries and a coke. Maybe also a burrito,” he

answered. “And you?”

“I want a chicken wrap…and a cheese burger, and fries, and a burrito, and soda,” I concluded.

His mouth dropped open. “I didn’t realize you ate so much,” he commented, probably by accident.

Immediately, I felt a bit self-conscious. Did he think I was fat?

“Wait - I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just, you look so small and skinny, I didn’t realize you - goddamn it,

nevermind. Sorry,” he rambled on. It was clear he was frustrated because he was tripping over his

words, which was fairly cute.

Not wanting him to feel bad, I laughed it off. “I don’t like starving myself. Besides, I run so that’s

probably why,” I told him.

He nodded and we began talking for a bit before a waiter came to take our orders. We gave them our

orders and then waited for the food to come.

“How’re you holding up since yesterday?” asked Dan.

I looked up from the table and at him. “Anything to get me by, right?” I replied, averting my eyes away

from his.

“Do you mind me asking why you started…doing what you’re doing?” he asked.

I was surprised by his question to say the least. “Um…I started at the age of 17 because I was kicked

out by my parents when I told them something that happened,” I replied slowly.

Dan nodded his head. “Sorry to hear that. What’s the something that happened though?” he asked.

I swallowed my spit. I knew he didn’t mean any harm but how did he think it was okay to ask someone

you just met about their personal life? Wasn’t that a bit weird?

“Look, I hope I’m not being rude or anything but I really don’t want to talk about it. It brings up bad

memories that I’d rather not remember,” I told him.

Dan’s eyes widened. “Sorry,” he quickly apologized.

I shrugged. “It’s okay?” Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

We sat in awkward silence for a few minutes until our food came. Once it came, I decided to talk to him

to try to ease up the awkward silence.

“So…anything new happen?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve actually been trying to contact my ex-girlfriend. There’s a big miscommunication

between us and I love her, so I can’t give up just yet. My boss and I also talked about why he’s been so

stressed. Turns out it’s because he found out he had a kid - who is now all grown up,” Dan said.

I made an “ohhh” sound. “You and your boss must be a little close. But he misses all of his child’s life

and he expects his kid to just let him in?”

“I don’t think you understand…He just found out that he has a child a few days away. The mother

popped in and told him. He was angry, obviously, because he wasn’t able to meet his child or anything.

All he got was a name,” Dan explained.

I nodded my head understandingly. “Is his child a female or male or?”

“Female, from what he told me.”

“What’s her name then?” I asked.

“He didn’t tell me,” answered Dan.

I sighed. “I hope everything goes well for your boss then,” I said with a small smile.

Dan smiled back. “Yeah, me, too.”

We kept on talking while eating our food. We talked about our past life, but nothing too serious. We

pretty much talked for a couple hours until we realized that we should leave and go back home.

Dan offered to drive me home but I declined his offer because I lived in the poor part of the city and I

didn’t want him to judge me.

As I walked home, I felt a little paranoid that someone was watching me, but I shrugged it off and

thought that it was all in my head. Once I got to my place, I began cleaning the rooms. I ended up

falling asleep at around 4 in the morning because I ended up texting Dan for a bit and after we texted, I

began thinking about him.

Lunch was fun. I think I made a friend.