Finding Forgiveness

“Don’t be blunt with me,” I snapped. “Dealing, trafficking, buying, selling, using? or whatever!”

“It is racist to assume that because I go to Mexico, I must be involved with drugs. It is a beautiful country with thousands of lovely people,” he replied calmly.

“I’m sure it is but how do you know these lovely people in Mexico?” I asked.

“Oh, I work for them,” he replied.

“And what is their line of work?”

“Drug dealing.”

“For fuck’s sake,” I mumbled. “Could you not have just said that to start with? And why the fuck are you involved in drugs?” I asked. “You have a job. Gamma of the Stella pack! You get paid loads!”

“Relax…”

“Relax? I am in the car with a drug dealer and we are on our way to Mexico to pick up drugs-”

“Ella,” he interrupted loudly. “It is part of my job as Gamma. There is a gang of criminals in Mexico. Werewolf drug dealers, if you like, that are a threat to the pack. Leo sent me to get friendly with them, find shit out and report back to him.”

“So you’re an undercover agent?” I asked letting out a deep breath.

“If that makes you feel better about it,” he replied. “And I don’t deal their drugs. I just bring them over the border like a trafficker. They pay me a lot which of course benefits the pack and they tell me all sorts of stuff that also benefits the pack.”

“How is a gang of drug dealers a threat to the pack?” I asked.

“Leo doesn’t want you involved in this. I’m not supposed to tell you,” he replied.

“Yet here we are on our way to Mexico.”

He groaned.

“Fine. I’m dead meat anyway. Sure this cartel sells drugs but their main business is biological warfare. They grow weed, mix it with wolfsbane with the power to knock a grown wolf unconscious for days and sell it to whoever will buy pretty much. Sometimes it’s a direct attack, sometimes they sell it as a weapon for someone else to use. My job is to keep it well away from the pack, in particular, Leo’s army, and out of the hands of any of his enemies.”

“So they’re using weed laced with wolfsbane as a way of disarming packs?” I asked.

“Leaving them vulnerable to attack so that they can easily take every penny of money from them,” Luca replied.

“Oh…”

“These criminals are organised and clever. They plan which pack to take down when and get me to send the wolfsbane weed to dealer’s nearby accordingly,” he replied.

“These people sound dangerous,” I stated. “What happens if they find out who you really are?”

“One of two things. They either back off because they don’t want to get on the wrong side of Alpha Leonardo Loren or… they kill me. Let’s hope we never found out.”

“Luca,” I said.Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

“Yes.”

“This isn’t exactly how I imagined going to grieve my brother was going to be.”

“I only have to pick up the stuff, give it to who I need to give it to and then we can go wherever in the world you want,” he said simplistically.

“Paris!” I exclaimed. “Let’s go to Paris!”

“Paris it is,” he replied. “And if anyone asks, I’m an Italian rogue living in America and my name is Romano De’Meritchi and you are um… my cousin and your name is… Eleonora De’Meritchi.”

“Eleonora De’Meritchi… got it,” I repeated just before my phone started ringing. “Leo’s calling. Why would he be calling?”

“Are you going to answer it?” Luca asked looking down at the screen of my phone which showed the picture of us I had attached to his contact. It was taken by Mateo on new years eve last year. Leo had an arm around my shoulder and I was hugging him tightly. A lot of champagne was drunk that night but I remember it crystal clear. How happy we were.

“It might be important,” I replied shaking the memory out of my head and swiping across. “Hello?”

“Mommy, where are you?” A little voice said from down the line.

“Oh, sweetie. Why do you have Daddy’s phone?” I asked my eldest son.

“He said that you’ve gone away but not where or why,” Cato replied his voice sounding tearful

“I’m going to Paris with Luca, Bambino. There’s no need to worry, I’m okay,” I replied.

“But why?”

“Do you remember yesterday that I said that when you are a big boy and old enough to understand I’d tell you everything?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said tearfully. “But I am a big boy. I’m the oldest.”

“I know, I know,” I replied. “But you’re still my little baby. I’ll be back before you know it and I’ll be sure to bring you and your siblings some nice french candy, okay?”

“Okay,” he said instantly sounding happier. “And some smelly cheese.”

“Urgh, smelly cheese,” I joked. “If you want smelly cheese, go and get some of Daddy’s socks out the dirty laundry.”

He giggled in his cute, childlike voice.

“Is Luca with you now?” he asked.

“He sure is,” I said. “Say hi, he can hear you.”

“Hi Luca!” he squealed.

“Hey, Cato,” Luca replied.

“Okay, baby,” I said. “My phone’s low on battery so I’ve gotta go but I’ll see you soon and I’ll call again tomorrow.”

“Bye Mommy,” he said before hanging up.

“If you wanna go home, we can go straight back after I get the shipment,” Luca suggested.

“No. It will be better for him and his siblings in the long run if I have the time I need to get over Connor, forgive Leo and move on. Cato noticed that something was wrong between us within minutes of getting home and I can’t have the fact that their mother can barely look at their father impact their happiness,” I replied. “Besides, I’ve promised them candy from Paris now and he won’t forget that. Believe me.”

“Okay,” he said. “So the plan is to grieve Connor, forgive Leo, go home and everything will be okay. What if it isn’t? What if you can’t forgive him?”

“Can we cross that hurdle when we get to it please?” I asked.

“Sure.”

Before long, it was getting late. The sky was growing darker again and the streaks of fiery red that had stretched out over the landscape as the sunset were beginning to fade again. I was exhausted just from sitting in a vegetive state and Luca had been driving since 2 am.