Encounter

Aleia( Aged 10)

Years had passed, but still, there were no signs of daddy. He broke his promise to us. Mommy said that he was just so busy, maybe he could not visit us anymore. Though, I knew he was supporting us financially.

Granny died due to a heart attack two years ago, leaving mommy and me on the island since mommy is her only daughter. Since Granny died, mom was so silent and lonely. She was in deep thought most of the time. During those times, I sat with her to make her feel that she was not alone. I’m with her.

Though, she tried to hide it away from me, it still reflected in her eyes. I also noticed that she was weaker than before. She even went to the doctor for checkups, but still, she did not tell me.

Until one day, I have read her hospital record. I did not understand what it meant. The terms were profound, but my attention was caught by one word that gave me goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach. It ignited my biggest fear. And that is losing mom.

I happened to read the word, cancer. The moment I read it, I felt bank and empty. I was not absorbing it, and I wouldn’t believe either. Is mom really sick? I immediately read the name on top to make sure if it was her’s. And tears rolled in my eyes. It says ‘Camilla Grymes.” That’s mom. Mom is sick. For real?

I saw mom sitting on the balcony watching the sunset. And I was watching her; I could not stop myself from crying. All this time, she tried to keep it from me. I wonder if Granny knew about it. All this time, she has been fighting for her life, and dad was not with her. How could he turn his back on her during the most challenging times? She needed someone stronger than her to help her fight.

“Baby,” mom said while looking at my direction. I pressed my lips to suppress a cry, but tears just kept on rolling. I strolled to her. Mom smiled and tapped her lap, just like in the old times. I knew she wanted me to sit in there. But can I still do that? She is sick. She has cancer that I could not specify. Instead of sitting in her lap, I just stood there watching her. She held my hand and pulled me for a hug. “Why are you crying?” she asked.

I automatically let go of the hug so I could see her. “Mom, you are sick, and you did not even bother to tell me.” Mom could not even say a word. For a couple of seconds, she remained blank. She was staring at me as if telling me how did I know it. And I was reading her correctly.

“How did you know?” she said and looked away. She deeply sighed and then looked at me.” Don’t worry, baby. Mommy would be okay.”

I sat on the chair in front of her. “But, mom, you have cancer. I saw it in your hospital record.” Mom’s eyes widened at my sudden outburst. Then, she started crying softly. I automatically ran to her and hugged her from behind. I buried my face on her neck, and there I cried too. I don’t want to accept it. I can’t imagine life without her. She is the only one I have. “Is it still curable, mom? You will still get better, right?” I said, trying to convince myself. Mom nodded.

“Of course, baby. I will. I still want to be with you. I still want to see you grow as a lovely lady, graduate from school, have a boyfriend, and fall in love”, she said, smiling but with tears in her eyes. And we ended up crying together.

But what happened the next few days is opposite to what mom said. I saw her suffer from her illness. She gets weaker as time goes by. It was Aunt Cristy who took care of her. Aunt Cristy is mom’s cousin on the mother’s side. She lived in the nearby town, and when she heard about my mom being sick, she came to us and offered to take care of her.

I sometimes skipped class to take care of mom. I told her our teacher was absent or I had finished my exam early. I always find alibis so that she won’t be mad. But the truth was I skipped and cut classes to go home early. We went to the beach to watch the sun fades away. I didn’t know why she loved it.

“Mom, why do you love watching the sunset,” I asked while we were sitting near the shore. Other tourists were with us too. But they were all busy doing their things.

“It’s because it symbolizes something,” mom said. I felt the curiosity and faced her” Sunset symbolizes a task being completed. The sun was out the whole day to give us warmth”, she said, looking at the sunset. I saw something inside her. She was at peace and was thinking of her own life while giving meaning to it. I looked away to hide my tears. Is she leaving me behind? Alone?. She sighed and continued. “After a mission accomplished, the sun will set to prepare for another tomorrow. It’s the moon’s turn to do it’s job. “Baby,” mom called me to turn to look at her. I wiped my tears.

“Mom, I’m listening. But why do I feel that you were talking about your life? Are you going to leave me?”

She reached for my hand and gripped it so tight.” Nothing is certain in this world, Ale. I don’t know how to explain this to you,” she said and then traced my face with her hand. I held his hand and brought it to my cheeks.” but you must be strong no matter what. Ale, you are still very young, and leaving you is my last option.” Mom paused for a minute and started to cry. Her tears flowed in her pale face.

“Then, don’t, mom. Tell them you are not going yet. You promised me that you will get better, mom.” I cried as I jumped to hug her. So tight that just a thought without her made me scared.

But I’m not losing hope. Mom is still here; who knows, she can beat it and survive the battle.

“Ale, do you still think about your dad?” I froze. Because honestly, I thought about him since I discovered that mom was sick. I was mad because he was not here with him to give him courage. “Please don’t be mad at him, baby. No matter what happens, he is still your father. Don’t blame him for everything.”

All of a sudden, I looked at mom. I can still see that he loves dad just the same. Even if he abandoned us and maybe forgot about us. I was hoping that dad would be here to take care of her.

“Mom, do you still love him?” She was speechless, and that alone answered my question.

She smiled sadly.”I never stopped. Loving does not always mean holding on and chasing them. Sometimes, we need to let go to make them happy.”I was a bit confused, so it means that dad was not happy with mom.” Ale, you are just ten. Don’t overthink. The right time will come for you to know what it means.”

“When would that be, mom?”This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.

“When you fall in love deeply with someone. That you will still choose to love him even if it hurts.” I furrowed my eyebrows because that was confusing for me.

Is there such a kind of love?