Diary of Fragile Heart (Spin of Loving You Too Long)

This time, Gladwin looked up, anger in his eyes. Eijaz’s insistence on his intentions unsettled him.

Anger, guilt, and the desire to make Flavia happy filled his chest simultaneously. Gladwin realized that everything wouldn’t be easy. It wasn’t about the people around them. He cared little about what was on their minds, as they wouldn’t care about his happiness or sadness. But what was difficult was convincing Flavia herself of his seriousness. Convincing the girl that what Gladwin felt now was love, not pity, as she suspected.

Gladwin stared at Eijaz with a gaze full of determination. Yes, he had made up his mind. He would fight. He would no longer be a cowardly man.

“I will fight for her. I won’t ask you to step back. It hurts my pride when you say that. As if Flavia is an object that you can transfer ownership of. If you truly love Flavia, let’s compete openly.”

Eijaz shook his head and chuckled. “I’m not that foolish, Gladwin. I’m a man who relies more on reason than emotion. My mind controls me more than my feelings do.

“I know and am aware that I can’t beat your presence in her heart. Forcing her to choose between us is not something I want. I’ve seen enough of her pain and hurt because of the irrationality of her love at that time.

“I prefer ‘us’ to make the decision. You step forward or I do. If you step forward, I surrender. If you step back, then step back forever so that she won’t waver. That way, I’ll replace your position in her heart, even though I know it will take time.”

“Don’t confuse her. If you want to step forward, then I hope you can genuinely fight for her. I know no happiness lasts forever. It’s an impossible thing. Even fairy tales have conflicts before ending happily. And I also know that sadness is not always present, as there will always be something beautiful from every sadness felt.

“I just want you to promise that you won’t hurt her directly. Consciously or unconsciously. If you can comply with that condition, I willingly admit defeat and step back.

“But if you can’t promise that, then I hope you step back. Disappear as you have for the past five years. Because truly, at least when you’re not visible to her, she seems to be okay.”

This was the longest sentence Gladwin had ever heard from Eijaz. He looked at the man with an incredulous gaze. His fists clenched to contain his anger.

Yes, Gladwin was angry, or more accurately, he felt jealous of Eijaz. Jealous of the time the man spent getting to know Flavia while he chose to hide in his cowardice.

Would Eijaz really give up that easily? Gladwin gritted his teeth.

“I’ve already said I rely more on the mind than feelings. I consider everything from a logical perspective, not influenced by hormones,” Eijaz stated again.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

As if he could read his thoughts. Was the man a neurologist, right? Did dissecting too many human skulls make him some kind of fortune teller? Or a sorcerer?

“I know this won’t be easy for you both. But if you’re confident that you can handle it, then I believe you will succeed.” What was Eijaz really doing? Encouraging them to fight or supporting them?

Once again, Gladwin fell silent. “I will step forward,” he replied firmly. Eijaz smiled. This was what he hoped for from Gladwin. Even though he loved Flavia, he wasn’t an angel without feelings.

He couldn’t endure loving without being loved in return. He was human, who wanted to receive, not just give. He wasn’t a selfless man, even though what he had done for Flavia so far had been from a sincere heart. But Eijaz knew, there would come a time when he would tire and want Flavia to give the same for him. And actually, seeing Flavia happy was happiness in itself for him. He genuinely hoped for that.

“Thank you. At least because you didn’t give up,” praised Eijaz. The man’s eyes gazed at Gladwin with a smile full of appreciation and sincerity. “And there’s one more thing I need to tell you.” Gladwin once again looked at Eijaz. “I don’t know if you’re aware of this or not, but there’s a rumor circulating here that you’re going to marry Phoebe,” he said.

What is this again? A new trial for him? He had just declared he would fight, and now he faced a new obstacle. “Who spread such cheap gossip?” Gladwin asked, annoyed.

Eijaz shrugged. “I don’t know where the gossip originated. I accidentally overheard some staff talking about your relationship. Although I’m sure it’s not true, I still don’t want Flavia to hear this when she wakes up. Because such things will only make her sink into despair again.”

Gladwin nodded. He would find a solution to that problem. “Anything else?” he asked sarcastically.

Eijaz grinned. “Lastly,” the man said. “Yesterday, I saw Phoebe talking to Flavia, just before we left. And whether it’s just my feeling, but Flavia seemed fine when she left my room and turned pale after talking to Phoebe.” Gladwin looked at Eijaz suspiciously. “She came to me for a medical check-up,” Eijaz answered without being asked.

“In your opinion, what did Phoebe say to Flavia?”

Eijaz shrugged again. “Flavia seemed to be holding back tears, which means Phoebe said something unpleasant for her to hear. Whether you ask Flavia directly when she wakes up, or you choose to ask Phoebe directly. But I think both won’t give honest answers.”

Gladwin nodded. Eijaz was right, Flavia wouldn’t give an honest answer because she wasn’t one to complain. And Phoebe, that woman wouldn’t speak truthfully because she was the type to lie.

Eijaz patted his shoulder, squeezing it gently before deciding to leave. Afterward, Gladwin walked in the opposite direction, heading back to the room where Flavia was. He thanked Eijaz for everything he had said. In his heart, he promised that he would try to make Flavia happy, no matter what. He would ask, even beg if necessary, for Flavia to accept him.

They observed Flavia from outside the glass walls of the High Care Unit (HCU). Flavia still hadn’t awakened, her condition unchanged since coming down from the operating table several hours ago. She remained in her sleeping state, but the monitor display showed that her body’s condition was stable.