Conquered by the Mafia Boss

The answer sits in my head. It’s right there, but it sounds so insane that I’m afraid to look into Jack’s puzzled eyes and tell him what I want from him.

If you don’t ask him, you’ll never know.

I force myself to pull back, and his breath warms my lips. I open my mouth.

“I want a baby.”

Jesus Christ.

My face is scorching hot, as though there’s a wall of fire in front of me.

“Excuse me?”

“I want us to have a kid.”

“What the fuck?” he says, between a laugh and a legitimate question.

“I know it sounds crazy-”

“-Yeah,” he says, eyes widening. “It does.”

I grab his shirt, twisting it in my hands. “I need this, Jack.”

He backs away from me, his eyebrows somewhere in his hair. “You’re serious? You want a kid with me?”

“Yeah, I do.”

He turns away from me, deep dimples carving into his mouth. “Why?”

That’s a good fucking question.

I take a step forward, hands clenched at my sides. “I know this: I’ll never be accepted by the family until I’m pregnant with your kid.”

“Jesus Christ!” Jack turns his back on me.

My cheeks burn, this time with rage. I’m furious that he won’t take me seriously. I lunge for his arm and force him to turn around. He looks surprised by the desperation on my face.

“It’s your cousin, isn’t it? You’re jealous that she has a baby, and now you want one.”

Look, I won’t deny that there was a sting of jealousy when I saw how happy they were together, and that sweet baby. I want that, too. This isn’t about chasing my dreams-I’m convinced the only way I’ll be accepted is if I have children with him.

“Well, yeah, but-no! That’s not it!”

He avoids my gaze, shaking his head. “Forget it, Beatrice.”

I grab his shoulders and give them a little shake. “What happens to me if something happens to you?”

The question turns in his head and he wrinkles his nose. “What?”

“If you die, what happens to me?”

His eyebrows narrow. “I’m not going to die.”

“It could happen.”

“Vaffanculo! I could trip and break my fucking neck, who gives a shit?”

“I have nowhere to go.”

That seems to break through to Jack. He relents, heaving a great sigh. “Johnny would take care of you. He’d give you an allowance.”

“You hate Johnny. Do you really think he’s going to give a damn about my life the moment you’re gone?”

Discomfort makes Jack restless. He pushes himself off the wall and glares at me. “He would.”

But he sounds so unsure.

“They all hate me. The moment you’re gone, they’ll hurt me. I know it.”

His frosty voice blows over me. “I’m not doing this.”

The chilly tone seems to cement the fact that I’m surrounded by people who don’t give a damn about me. Maya’s unreachable and her husband wants her to have nothing to do with me. If he’s gone, I’ll be thrown to the wolves.

Club whore.

Their vicious voices reverberate in my head, and my eyes burn as I realize how reluctant Jack was to enter into this arrangement at all. My thoughts race and I reach out for him as I collapse to the floor.

Those guys you overheard will probably be the first to slit your throat.

I’m a club whore. A biker bitch. I’ll never be anything more, and if the alliance collapses, I’ll be the first to go. Why keep someone alive who can run to the police and tell them that she was coerced into marrying one of their members, in order to avoid testifying against the alibi in court? I’d be disposed of the moment I was no longer needed. The mob wouldn’t give a shit about the biker wife made from a sham marriage.

Huge sobs wrack from my chest as I kneel on the floor, the weight of everything crushing me down. I hate crying like this-hate feeling out of control.

“They have no respect for me! They won’t care about throwing me away!”

Strong hands grip my arms, lifting me up, but I sink back down. Jack lowers to my level and my tears run over his hands as he cups my cheeks. I can’t bear to look at him.

“Of course they do. You’re my wife.”

My voice lifts to the ceiling, hysterical. “You didn’t hear them! They said one dead biker wasn’t enough-they called me a cunt!”

Jack’s face turns ashen. “What? When was this?”All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

“When I was at the bar with Maya. I don’t t-think they knew I was sitting right there.”

He stands up slowly and steps away from me, all fatigue gone from his movements. I’m surprised at the violence with which he rips open the closet door to grab his jacket, shrugging it on.

“Where are you going?”