#1 Chapter 46
Then it’s my turn to lean in closer to whisper in his ear. “Do it again.”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.
It starts off like a small spark. Yellow bursts of light flinging out into space, only to disappear almost immediately. Over and over again, until it catches. Just one little flame, fairly easy to snuff out.
That’s what I’ve got. A little flame. It quietly warms my chest as I watch him get ready for his work. There’s no denying that I’ve got it pretty bad for him. I don’t know where it came from, but all of a sudden, I’m attached. Pinpricks of fear spread over my skin as I think about his work and the kind of trouble he might get himself into.
I like him, and I don’t know what to do about it.
His gaze meets mine through his bathroom mirror as he notices my stare. “What is it?”
My face flushes as though he can tell what I’m thinking by watching my eyes, and I shrug. He hesitates for a moment and continues shaving.
“I’m going to my place to pick up a few things.”
He bends his face into the sink and washes it before drying it off with a fresh towel. The light switches off and bathes him in darkness.
“And what if that shit stain is waiting for you there?”
Gentle hands cradle my face as he walks to the bed. Sometimes it hurts to see the indifference in his eyes. He rarely ever comes to life, except when he’s thrusting between my legs.
“Well, we’re engaged. He can’t touch me.”
“Yeah, except there’s the problem of the fucking baby. Anyway, that reminds me.”
He pulls something out of his pocket. A small black box. My heart thumps hard against my chest, even though I know it’s just for show. Even though it’s not really for me.
Tony takes my hand as he opens the box, revealing a beautiful white gold ring with a princess-cut diamond. He takes it out of its snug confinement and slowly slides it on my ring finger.
“Like it?”
Like it? “It’s-it’s beautiful. Where did you get it?”
He smiles at me. “Don’t worry about it.”
Probably stolen, then.
It dazzles in the light, all the diamond-cut shards in the band sparkling as I turn it to catch the beams.
“Is it weird that I’m much more excited about this than I should be?”
“It’s just a ring, Elena.”
The frost in his voice dampens my happiness, and I feel myself slam hard into the ground. Back to reality.
He doesn’t want to get married. Stop this right now.
Then he stoops down slightly and kisses the top of my head. “I’m glad you like it.”
Ready for work, he heads to the front door and I follow him. He gives me a nervous smile as he glances at the ring on my finger.
“See you later, I guess.”
The fabric of his jacket feels abrasive in my hands, but I pull him toward me anyway. I smell his aftershave on his slightly damp cheeks and I turn my head, crushing my lips against his. He smiles against mine, laughing at some joke in his head, and I slide the palm of my hand down his slacks, anchoring over his cock. He groans.
“Do all broads get wet over a diamond ring, or is that just a stereotype?”
I don’t know what it is.
“It’s you. You make me this way.”
A grin lightens his face as he gently takes my hand away from his cock. “Stop getting me turned-on before I have to leave.”
“It’s your fault for giving me this right before leaving.”
His eyes twinkle with mischief. “Hell, you’re right. I should at least get a thank-you blowjob.”
“When you come back,” I promise.
“Fuck.” He eyes my mouth with a carnal look that he somehow stuffs down.
I take his chin, my insides fluttering as I give him a soft kiss. His eyes stay closed when I pull away, and when they open I think I can see something flicker inside them.
“Bye, Tony.”
My words seem to snap him into action, and he mechanically leans forward, kissing my cheek. He lingers a little bit too long, but he still turns away to leave.
And a wild happiness lifts me up into the sky as though wings decided to sprout from my shoulders. I dress for the cold and make my way to my apartment, stuck in that contented fog. God, I’m becoming one of those people. Those blissfully unaware people walking down the street that I used to want to strangle, because the happiness that everyone seemed to have always escaped me.
It was always: hide, be quiet, keep your head down, and hope for calmer waters.
I unlock the door to my apartment, my spirit falling as I see the mess all over the floors. There wasn’t any time to come back after Rafael destroyed the place. For a moment my arms wrap around my body and a chill runs through me as though there’s an open window somewhere.
You shouldn’t have come here.
My limbs freeze even though my heart hammers against my chest. The horrific thought hisses in my ear in a harsh whisper.
Leave. Now.
I watch myself take a step toward the door. My hand reaches for the doorknob. I turn it. It’s locked. I must have locked it without even thinking. Then it takes me an eon to unlock it, the brass locks moving in slow motion. Footsteps echo hollowly in my heart. They’re hard and fast. A pressure squeezing down on my shoulder amps up the terror, and my voice lifts to the ceiling. Another hand clamps down hard over my mouth, cutting off the scream.
No. Oh God, no.
“You keep coming back here,” the dark voice says. “It’s almost as if you want me back.”
He pulls me into his body, his achingly familiar contours jutting into me. Then he takes his hand away from my mouth as something cold bites into my neck.
“Make a sound, and I’ll spill your dirty Vittorio blood all over the floor.”
That seething undertone in his voice makes my blood harden into ice. That deadly calm terrifies me more than anything. It means that he has nothing to lose and he’s not afraid to slit my throat.