Awake At Dawn: epilogue
“IS THAT NOT the most attractive thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life?”
I leaned against the countertop in our apartment, salivating as I watched Noah stride across the living room with Delilah strapped to his chest in the baby carrier. Cradling the back of her head with his palm, he bounced slightly while brushing his lips over her head and the wisps of tiny, gingery curls.
“Mmm,” Juniper replied, and I jerked out of my trance to look over and find Juni salivating over someone else.
My brother.
Gross.
Julian stood by the huge windows overlooking Boston, saying something to Noah about football. I could only hear snippets of what they were talking about from across the apartment, but I also wasn’t really trying to pay attention. All my attention went to my daughter and how the man I loved couldn’t stop doting on her. The man who was her father in every sense of the word except for legally, and even that was in the process. We were just waiting for the paperwork to be finalized.
I loved watching them. I could do it all day, every day. Noah was going to spoil her just as much as he spoiled me, and while that might be a problem in the future, I’d been soaking in the bliss of it lately.
Loving Noah London was such a blessing; having him in my life had changed it in ways I couldn’t even comprehend. He was the perfect partner, and I loved him so incredibly much.
I loved her so much, too.
God, I couldn’t even put into words how much I adored her, how much my life revolved around her, how difficult it was to tear my eyes away from her. Even though it meant I was exhausted half the time.
Okay, all the time.
My brother’s face lit up as he stuck his finger out for Delilah to wrap her little hand around. Crouching to her eye level, he murmured something to her, and my heart swelled.
Meanwhile, I glanced to find Juniper with her mouth hanging open, seconds away from drooling. I tapped her chin, and she jerked to attention, blushing furiously.
“Sorry, it’s just—”
“You ready, Em?”
Noah turned toward us, flashing a crooked grin that made me wonder what, exactly, he had up his sleeves for today.
It was our first date since Delilah had been born and the first time that both of us would be away from her. I’d gone out for quick errands, but Noah always stayed behind. Or vice versa.
So no, I wasn’t exactly ready.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready to leave her, even for a few hours. But I’d just breastfed her, it was only midafternoon, and Julian and Juniper would take care of her. Everything would be okay. For a couple of hours.
So I nodded. Tentatively. Slowly.
Noah chuckled, clearly reading my mind.
“She’ll be just fine, Gems,” Julian soothed before putting his hands out to take her from Noah. “Here.”
Noah looked my brother up and down wordlessly.
“Oh, come on. Not you, too,” Julian said with a roll of his eyes. Then, he crouched back down to kiss Delilah’s head. “Baby girl wants to hang out with Uncle Julian tonight, doesn’t she?”
Delilah smiled cheekily, betraying both Noah and me. It should annoy me—like it clearly annoyed Noah—but something about it did put me at ease. I was lucky to have a brother who I knew would, without a doubt, never let anything happen to his niece. Between the two men in front of me, my poor girl would have one hell of a time trying to date when she grew up.
“It was really nice of you two to come over so we could go out,” I said, wanting to break the tension between my boyfriend and brother. Usually, it was my brother looking at my boyfriend like he wanted to strangle him, so while this was a bit of a turnaround, Noah and I had plans.
“Of course!” Juniper chimed in as Noah relented and slid Delilah out of the carrier, handing her to Julian.
Winnie, sensing that her new best friend was on the move, ran over to Julian, dancing happily around his heels at the chance to say hi to Delilah. She waited impatiently as Noah and Julian transferred the carrier to Julian so he could tuck Delilah against his chest instead.
“It’ll be good practice for us,” Julian said with a smile and a wink at Juniper, and I stilled.
“Wait, are you…” Slowly, I looked between Jules and Juni. Both of them beamed at me. Julian’s grin was unrestrained, ridiculously happy, and overbearing. Meanwhile, Juniper tried to hide her grin behind a half-hearted glare at Julian.
“I thought we weren’t going to say anything tonight,” she muttered.
“Sorry, Juni baby,” Julian said, looking entirely not sorry. He walked toward us, sidling up beside his wife and smoothing his hand over her stomach in the same way Noah used to do to me all the time.
Juniper didn’t really look upset that the news had been spilled as she sank into Julian’s embrace, and my lips stretched into a wide, nearly painful smile.
“Oh my God!” I squealed, clapping my hands together excitedly. “Oh, I’m so happy for you guys. And Delilah will have a cousin—”
“Cousins,” Julian cut in immediately, and Noah laughed as he strode over, wrapping his own arms around my waist.
“Already planning for the next one?” He chuckled as his lips brushed my cheek. A shiver ran through me at his touch, as simple as it was.
Julian shook his head. “No, not exactly…”
He grinned again, his hand still splayed possessively over Juniper’s stomach. Juniper smiled back at him and then up at me, and when I saw the slight nerves running through her expression, I realized—
“You’re having twins?”
Both of them nodded enthusiastically, and I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. Noah gripped Julian on the shoulder, wishing him congratulations and muttering that he really would need the practice. I hugged Juniper—once, twice, and a third time—before Noah eventually dragged me out the door. But not before giving a million kisses to Delilah and promising her we’d be back in just a short bit.
“It’ll be okay,” Noah said as we got into the elevator. I wasn’t sure if he’d noticed how tears welled along my lashes or if he just knew, but I sighed and leaned into his touch as he wrapped himself around me.
“It’s just—” I wiped at my lash line, trying not to smudge my makeup. I hadn’t put makeup on in weeks. I didn’t want to mess it up in the first five minutes of our date. “It’s just a lot. A lot of emotions.”
“I know, angel,” Noah whispered, his voice the gentle, reassuring caress I needed right now.
“But I’m so happy,” I said, even though it sounded like I was holding back tears. “I’m so happy, Noah. For them. For us. I don’t want you to think—”
“I know that, too,” he replied, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
He knew. He always knew.
“I’m hoping I can make you even happier tonight,” he murmured as the elevator doors dinged, and he took me by the hand, leading me through the parking garage to his corner.
Yes, Noah had a whole corner. He needed one, considering how many damn vehicles he owned.
Today, he led me to one I’d never gotten to experience.
One I’d always wanted to experience. Even though it made my nerves tighten, it was almost deliciously so.
“Can I take you for a ride?”
Noah stood behind me, his lips grazing the curve of my ear. The simple touch made goose bumps erupt all over my body.
It had been too long since I’d really gotten to enjoy his touch. Like really enjoy it. Savor it, like I used to. I’d been cleared to have sex for two weeks now, but Noah gave me worried looks whenever I brought it up.
If he was any other man, I might grow anxious that he’d lost his attraction for me. But Noah’s worried looks would be followed by hungry ones. His body would grow rigid and his eyes dark, and I knew it had absolutely nothing to do with how much he wanted me.
“It’s about time,” I said with a laugh, walking over to trail my fingertips along the seam of the bike’s seat.
I saw Noah shake his head out of the corner of my eye. “Sorry I didn’t want my pregnant girlfriend to get on a motorcycle.”
“I haven’t been pregnant for a couple months.”
“We’ve been a little busy, Em.” He grinned, which floored me. Because we’d been so busy and tired and overwhelmed, but this man was still smiling at me like he wouldn’t have it any other way. And for someone to choose not only me but my daughter—our daughter—like that? It was unbelievable. “So you want to go for a ride or what?”
He went into the trunk of his car, grabbing a helmet to pass to me. I took it with a smirk.
“Is the bike the only thing I’m going to get to ride today?”
Noah groaned as he snatched the helmet back and put it on my head himself, making sure it was snug before buckling it beneath my chin. Then he leaned in to mutter, “If you talk dirty on this date, I’m not going to fucking make it. So be a good girl for me, and I’ll make it worth it at the end of the day.”
I bit down on my lip in reply because I couldn’t make any promises that I’d be a good girl, not when it had been so long since I’d had him. But I’d try. A little bit, anyway.
Noah shook his head with a cocky grin before striding to his bike and mounting it. My mouth ran dry as I watched him. He wore jeans, a white tee, and a leather jacket that I could practically see his muscles straining through, and my body couldn’t help but react to how goddamn good he looked.
I mean, Noah always looked good. For example, he looked really good with our daughter strapped to his chest. But seeing him cock a finger and beckon me over to his motorcycle reminded me of the playful charm that first attracted me to this man. And it made me realize just how far we’d come in the last year.
Following Noah’s directions, I slid onto the bike behind him and circled my arms around his chest. My body molded to his, his closeness keeping any anxiety I might have at bay. Noah ran his hands over my forearms, memorizing the feel of this moment, before giving a reassuring squeeze where my hands were clasped.
“If you want me to pull over at any point, just tap on my chest. ’Kay, Em?”
“Okay,” I agreed. “But I trust you.”
“And I take having your trust seriously. More seriously than anything,” he said before running through all the safety tips I needed to know, like to look in the direction of the turns but not to lean over the bike and that it was normal to feel off-kilter at times. He told me not to worry and to hold on.
So that was what I did. I nodded, hugging him tighter to show him how much I appreciated that. How much I appreciated him. And then we were on our way. The bike hummed beneath my legs, and Noah’s body warmed me in such a delicious way. The combination of it all churned the heat inside me.
I’d already asked Noah a million times what his plans were for today. He just kept telling me he wanted it to be a surprise, and while I didn’t mind a surprise every now and again, I couldn’t help but wish he could have given me some small crumbs to go off of.
Especially when we started driving out of the city, and I couldn’t help but think that every mile we flew down the road was another mile away from our daughter.
Luckily, though, barely twenty minutes passed before Noah’s pace slowed, and I wondered if we were getting closer.
Except we were in a neighborhood.
Which was an odd place for a date.
My confusion grew as Noah drove the motorcycle straight into the driveway of a beautiful home with blue siding and a red door. It was gorgeous, probably built within the last ten years, and perfectly maintained. But again, a strange place for a date.
He got off the bike first, clearly less stunned and confused than I was. His lips curved as he looked at me and swore beneath his breath.
“Fuck, I knew you’d look good on my bike. I’ve been waiting for this day.”
“And you’ve been very patient, too.” I smiled as I dismounted from the motorcycle. “I’ll reward you for it later. I’ll even reward you on the bike if you—”
“Gemma,” Noah groaned, throwing his head back with apparent frustration.
I swallowed my laughter as I whipped the helmet off and shook my hair out, hoping my curls were still somewhat intact. When I looked back up, Noah was staring at me, his mouth slightly ajar.
“You are—” He broke off with another shake of his head and then took two steps forward to slam his lips to mine. The kiss sent desire hurtling through me. It was a hard kiss, but Noah filled it with the same longing and desperation that existed within me, and all too soon, he pulled away.
“Come on,” he muttered, letting his lips brush over mine once more before leading me toward the house.
“Whose house is this?”
Noah looked over his shoulder at me as we approached the front door, his smile tilted. And in that moment, I knew.
It was our house.
Oh my God, it was our house, wasn’t it?
I stopped, my hand flying to my mouth. Tears sprang to my eyes. “Noah…”
Noah halted, turning to knock my hand away. “Not yet, baby. You can’t cry yet.”
“But—”
“We haven’t even gotten to the best part yet. Come on,” he repeated softly. “Let me show you around our house.”
“Our house?”Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.
I couldn’t believe the words even as I said them. Our house?
“Yeah,” he breathed, gently moving the hair out of my face. His finger twirled around one of my curls, following it down the side of my face. “For me and you and Lilah and Win. What do you think about that? We’ll still keep the apartment, but I wanted you to have this. I wanted us to have this.”
I didn’t have the words to respond.
He’d joked about this. One time. At Juniper and Julian’s wedding, but that was months ago. And I didn’t think he’d actually—
“Let me at least show it to you before you say no.”
He thought I was going to say no?
I mean, yes, it was too extravagant, too much, too beautiful, too everything for me to possibly accept such a gesture.
But it was also too perfect for me to say no to. Delilah deserved a big yard to play in with Winnie. And when I thought of the girls, there would only ever be one correct answer.
So I followed Noah wordlessly through the front doors, letting him guide me into a gorgeous foyer with endless natural light seeping through the big windows above the front door. A staircase curved up to the second floor, but Noah led me past it, deeper into the house, until we stood in a dazzling kitchen. A massive bouquet of flowers sat in the center of a marble-top island. They were tiger lilies, a deep orange in color with pretty speckles dotting the petals.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this,” Noah said, breaking through my silent admiration, “but your hair…the color has always reminded me of these.” He pointed to the flowers. “So fucking beautiful. And when I bought this home, I knew I wanted it to be full of…you. Everything that reminded me of you and everything that you love.”
“You,” I choked, looking at him and seeing all the love in his eyes that made my heart squeeze. “You are what I love, Noah. I hope you know that. I don’t need anything else.”
“I know.” He nodded like he really did know. “But Em, you almost moved out of my apartment and threw away some of your favorite things because you didn’t think you had enough space for them. So I want you to know there will always be space for you here. There will always be space for you in my life. You and Delilah.”
A joyful laugh burst through my lips just as tears once again threatened to fall. “You think there’s room for all my mugs here?”
“I know there’s room,” Noah said, his grin suddenly so wide I thought his lips might crack. He stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets, almost shy-like, and nodded toward the cupboards in the kitchen. “Why don’t you go take a look for yourself?”
Something about how he said it made my heart skip a beat, but I couldn’t place why, so I walked past him to the kitchen cupboards and started flinging them open.
I gasped.
My mugs were already here.
At least, a lot of them were.
And in the middle of the collection was one new one.
On it, there were four words.
And my heart didn’t just skip a beat; it shot straight into overdrive.
I gasped as I whirled around to face Noah, only to find him on the ground.
On one knee.
“I know,” he rasped, emotion clogging his throat just as clearly as tears shone in my eyes. “I know it’s only been a year since you moved in with me. But honestly, I should have said this sooner, angel: I never want you to move out. I want to live with you and be with you and grow with you and learn how to parent with you. I want you forever, Em. And I just hope to hell you want me forever, too.”
“I do,” I whispered, nodding aggressively to hopefully make up for the fact that I barely had a voice. My throat tightened as I tried to keep from completely bursting into tears. “I do, Noah.”
“Yeah?” His smile grew adorably, like a part of him couldn’t believe it was real. But at the same time, he popped open a box that I just realized was in his hand. I’d been too focused on his face and memorizing everything I saw there.
“Yes,” I confirmed, my eyes widening when I saw the most beautiful diamond ring I’d ever seen. “Yes, yes, yes!”
“So does that mean you’ll marry me?” he asked, hopefulness in his gaze. “Because fuck, I wanna marry you. That’s all I want, Gemma Briggs. All I want is to marry you. Will you let me?”
“Yes!” I cried again, bouncing on my feet because I so desperately wanted him to stand back up so I could throw my arms around him.
Noah stood and reached for me, trying to grab my hand as he laughed. “Then stand still so I can put this ring on your finger where it fucking belongs.”
Somehow, I managed to contain myself long enough for Noah to slip the ring on my finger, where it was—no surprise—a perfect fit. He stared at it for a moment, and I stared at him, staring at it. Finally, once he was satisfied with how the ring looked on my finger, he stood.
I didn’t waste a second before flinging myself at him. And Noah didn’t waste a second before kissing me.
Heat wrapped around us as our lips collided, our tongues tangled, and our hands grasped at each other. Noah picked me up, setting me on the edge of the countertop so I could wrap my legs around his hips, tugging him close. My heart raced with the adrenaline of the moment, and I didn’t know how to slow it. I wasn’t sure it ever would slow.
But I didn’t care right now. All I cared about was Noah.
“Need you,” I gasped, and Noah groaned because he knew exactly what I wanted as I slid my hands beneath his jacket and shrugged it off him.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked despite his own arousal pressing between my legs.
“I’m ready,” I assured him between frenzied kisses. “I’ve been ready, Noah. You’re the one who keeps pushing it off.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you. Or rush you. And there are plenty of other ways I know how to satisfy you without being inside you.”
God, wasn’t that the truth.
“I know,” I whimpered. “But right now, I need you.”
Noah took a step back, fishing a condom out of his wallet, and I frowned. When he looked up, he noticed.
“What?”
“We’ve never used a condom before.”
“We’ve never fucked when you weren’t pregnant before,” he said, lifting a brow.
“I’m on birth control,” I said, wondering if I hadn’t told him that. But I was pretty sure that I had.
“Good.” Noah nodded, even as he unbuckled his pants.
It was my turn to raise a brow as something sank slightly in my stomach.
“Is it that…worrisome for you? That I might get pregnant again?”
Noah stilled, meeting my gaze. “Of course, baby. Your body needs time to rest. Heal. And the last time you got pregnant, you weren’t in control. I never, ever want to take away your control for something like that. It should be something you decide. So for now, we’ll use all the protection.”
I swallowed, his words easing the feeling inside me. “We decide, right? Unless you don’t think you’d ever want…”
My voice trailed off because I suddenly realized this wasn’t a topic we’d broached. And maybe we should have. Because I knew what I wanted, but perhaps it wasn’t what he wanted.
Noah’s eyes grew wide as he realized what I was saying, and then a bark of laughter slipped through his lips. “Oh fuck, Gemma. You have no idea.”
He shook his head with a growing grin, and I couldn’t help but reciprocate his expression as he continued what he was doing, unzipping his pants and sheathing his cock with the condom. Then, he slid his hands up my legs and hooked his fingers in the sides of my leggings, yanking them down with my help as I lifted my hips.
Noah pulled me closer to the edge of the countertop before slipping a finger between my legs and sliding my underwear to the side so he could toy with my clit. I gasped, and he leaned closer. Close enough that his warm breath fanned across my skin.
“I want more with you, Gemma. And that includes more kids.” He spoke in a low, gravelly tone. It made me arch my body toward him, seeking…more. “And when the time is right, there is nothing I will enjoy more than fucking you until you’re pregnant with my child. So don’t think for a second that’s not what I want. But you and your health will always come first. Okay?”
I wasn’t sure how he always made caring for me sound so sexy, but Lord, I was a mess.
“Okay, Noah.” I wrapped my legs tighter around him. “I love you. You know that, right?”
He grinned, and the cockiness of it was tinged with softness. “I know, angel. I love you, too.”
“I know,” I whispered. “Now, fuck me like you don’t.”
Noah half laughed, half groaned, but he didn’t listen.
“Let’s take it slow,” he said, even though I could tell by the slight shake of his body that taking it slow was the last thing he wanted. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I don’t think you could ever hurt me, Noah,” I said, gasping as he slowly worked one finger inside me. I held my breath, surprised at how…different it felt. Despite what I just said, I couldn’t deny the twinge of pain that accompanied Noah’s touch, and I bit down on my lip.
“Ah,” Noah murmured. “Don’t lie to me, Em. I need you to be honest with me about this. Promise.”
He curled his finger, hitting that spot inside me he knew I loved, and I swallowed a cry. When he pulled out and then repeated the motion a little faster, heat tore through me, masking the pain from before.
“I promise,” I agreed breathily. “Just keep…keep doing that.”
“I will, angel.” Noah’s lips caressed my skin, kissing across my cheek, my jaw, and then down my neck. “I won’t stop until you’re drenched for me, and I know you can take it.”
And he didn’t. Noah kept going until I was begging him to fuck me. And even then, he lined us up and gradually pushed into me, inch by inch, murmuring a mixture of dirty promises and loving encouragement. We were both so lost, lost in the overwhelming feeling of our connection. It had been so long. So long since I’d gotten to feel him inside me like this, and God, I’d missed it.
“Fuck, I missed you,” Noah moaned, echoing my thoughts. He stilled once he’d thrust all the way in, letting me adjust to the size of him again. It was…a lot, but it was also perfect. Every twinge eventually subsided into a pulsing pleasure, and all I could do was nod, unable to speak.
“You good?” Noah whispered the words against my forehead.
“So good,” I managed. “Amazing.”
I felt Noah’s lips curve against my skin before he pulled out and drove back home again. “That’s my girl.”
His girl. I was his girl, and Noah made sure I knew it as he fucked me in the kitchen of our new home. Every stroke drove deeper, making the realization set in that this was our new reality, and there was nothing in the world that made me happier.
Noah kept going and going, his pants grazing my skin and setting my world on fire. He didn’t stop until I was a sweaty, gasping mess, begging him for release. And when he finally gave it to me, he let go, too.
I wasn’t sure how long had passed while we lay together on the kitchen floor, surrounded by our discarded clothes and matching smiles. But I didn’t care. All I wanted was this.
Well, and—
“Knock, knock!”
I bolted upright at the sound of my brother’s voice.
“Julian! You can’t just barge in,” Juniper hissed. “What if they’re busy?”
“They better not be fucking busy,” my brother grunted, but the first footsteps I heard didn’t go any further.
“We’re busy!” Noah called, but he didn’t sound surprised. No, instead, he looked over at me with a shy smile. “I thought you might want Lilah to be here and see the new house, too.”
Tears sprang to my eyes again because that was exactly what I wanted and exactly what was missing from this moment. I rushed to fix my clothes while Noah did the same, and once we were all situated again, I ran to the front door, where Julian stood holding Delilah.
“Congratulations, Gems,” he said, pulling me into a hug. “Hope you don’t mind having your housewarming and engagement party all at once.”
I looked up at him with a confused frown. “What do you—?”
Movement from outside caught my attention, and I looked past Julian to see the whole family standing on the stoop.
“Surprise!” Janie and Gianna shouted while Chloe screamed, “Congratulations!” while jumping in front of her uncle Blake.
I stood there, stunned, as Noah ushered our guests in. There were hugs and tears and laughs, and just when I thought I might pass out from the joy of it all, Noah tugged my hand and dragged me up the stairs of our new home. At some point, he’d acquired our daughter and passed her to me. He knew what I wanted.
“Let them set up the party,” he murmured. “I want to show the two of you something.”
He led me to a bedroom that was clearly meant for Delilah. There was a wall of board books, a dresser with a stuffed baby loon sitting on top, and a crib already set up in the corner. My throat tightened, watching through watery vision as Noah walked over to the windows. There wasn’t much to see out of them except for a few trees and the distant skyline of Boston, but Noah paused there.
“I wanted to make sure Delilah’s room faced the east. I know there are probably many mornings that I’ll be awake to see the sunrise over the next few years, and I want to watch them all. With her. With you. I’m ready, Gemma. If I haven’t proved it by now, I want you to know.”
I gripped our daughter tighter in my arms and then slid into his.
“You’ve more than proved it,” I said. “You’ve never needed to convince me, Noah. I’ve always known the kind of man you are. But I just hope I’ve convinced you, too.”
“Convinced me of what?”
“That there’s no one else I’d rather be awake at dawn with, Noah. No one else.”
He grinned like I knew he would.
“I know.”