82
Lottie
Ive was nowhere to be found this morning, which surprised me. I’mnot normally a light sleeper. Being in Ive’s bed last night, I’d spent a great deal of time wide awake, going over what he’d told me.
All I had to do was swear loyalty. In my luggage, therewas a phone Rage had given to me last night at the reception. He’d told me to use it whenever I felt unsafe. If I had that cell phone and swore my loyalty to Ivan, I’d be lying. To swear complete loyalty to Ivan, to my husband, to the Volkov Bratva, I could no longer trust or rely on the Evil Savages MC.
Cassie had told me she’d call me, that she’d find a way for us to hang out. I’d gotten her message this morning from one of the wait staff. I sat in a private booth, my morning breakfast in front of me, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat it.
If I gave that cell phone away, I’d have no choice but to trust my husband. Could I trust Ive? I didn’t know him.
“You look troubled, young lady.”
Glancing up, I see Ivan Volkov himself, taking a seat opposite me.
“Mr. Volkov,” I said, about to bow my head and thenI frowned. What the fuck was I doing?
Ivan chuckled. “There’s no need to bow. I’m not royalty.””In my husband’s world, you are.”
“True. So very true. I guess you could say I am the king.”
Should I look at him? What the hell did I do?
“Don’t be frightened. I know you’re not aware ofmy traditions and customs and if I’m being honest, neither am I.”
This caused me to frown and I lifted myhead.
“That’s better. I wanted to have a conversation with your face, not the top of your head.”
I was tempted to touch my head, but I managed to keep my hands firmly in my lap. Yay me.
“You’re not eating.”
“I’m not very hungry.”
“A little advice-Ive cannot deal with petty behavior. I imagine he sees you as a child already, so skipping meals will not be ideal in winning him over.”
I wasn’t being petty. The breakfast looked lovely. There was so much fruit and even the toast looked mouthwatering, and I wasn’t a big fan of toast at all. I often ate cereal, sometimes dry if we had spoiled milk. Cassie would often forget to go to the store, and only when I was given money did I ever get a chance to shop.
Reaching out, I picked up a slice of peach and took a bite. It was juicy, and so incredibly tasty. I wanted to close my eyes and bask in the taste but with Ivan sitting opposite me, I didn’t know what to do.
“Good, isn’t it? Do you mind?” he asked.
I shook my head and he winked at me, taking a slice ofpeach.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me.”
I highly doubted that.
Ivanlaughed. “I can see you have your doubts.”
“You just said that you’re the king of the Volkov Bratva. Your word is law, in everything. How can I not be afraid?”
“True, I can seewhy you believe that. I do have it on good authority from Adelaide and Aurora, that I can be quite a nice guy.”
I had no idea what to say to him. This manhad taken me, and in a strange way he’d kept me.NôvelDrama.Org owns © this.
Lifting my head, I looked him straight in the eyes. My dad had told me many times that I was a fucking idiot. I didn’t know when to keep my fucking head down. Often, that came with a slap or a punch or a belt.
Even Cassie had said I didn’t seem to have any self-preservation. In short, I was fucked.
“Solong as they swear loyalty to you?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“And allI have to do is have your back?”
Ivan chuckled. “There’s a little more to it, but in essence, yes. You’ll have my back, as you will Ive’s.”
Glancing down at the table, I couldn’t stop thinkingabout that damn cell phone. I didn’t ask Rage to help me.
“You made a mistake, didn’t you?” I asked.
Ivan didn’t say a word.
“With me.”
He was still silent.
“I couldn’t help but wonder why you’d pick me. Everyone knew my father hated me. You had to getRage on your side. You were meant to get Cassie, weren’t you? She’d have been perfect for your plans.”
“It didn’t play out how I intended, but believe this, Charlotte, I’d have never allowed Cassie to marry Ive.”
“Why not? She’s perfect for him.”
Ivan clicked his tongue. “She’s far too entitled and a princess for him.”
“And what am I?”
“Damaged enough for him to try,” Ivan said.
“Damaged,” I repeated the word.
“I saw the scars on your back.”
Lifting my head once again, I stared into his eyes. Ivan was a scary man. I’d looked at him a few times and been frozen in fear, but that hadn’t stopped me from looking. He was handsome, but there was a coldness wrapped around him. He had the sweet smiles and almost the innocent look, but it was all fake, every single bit of it. There was nothing loving or sweet about this man. Trust me, I knew. He and my father had a lot of similarities.”They’re just marks of a time in my life. They don’t mean anything.”
“Because he called youTrash?”
I shrugged. “Trash doesn’t get to have feelings. It doesn’t have a voice. It doesn’t complain. It’s just trash.”
“You’re not trash, Charlotte.”
“I know, but it makes life easier, doesn’t it?”
“What does?”
“If you believe you are trash. An inanimate object that has no value or meaning, tossed aside because it’s worthless. It makes the punches less painful. It makes everything not seem so unfair. You don’t get locked in your room and forgotten if you mean nothing. You eventually stop crying, because it doesn’t matter. When he looks at you, and through you, it doesn’t sting. You just live, but wait for that moment when you’re grabbed and thrown aside once again.”
Staring into his eyes, Ivan looked right back at me, and in an odd way, I had a feeling he knew exactly what I was talking about.
His fingers tap against his thigh. No words are spoken.
Saying those words aloud, I think about my eighteen years of life. I never had a great birthday or Christmas. In fact, Rage was the only person to remember my birthday, and he told Cassie. I didn’t know it, until they started to present me with a card or a gift. The presents had to be small. If my father ever saw them, he’d destroy them.
At home, my bedhad been taken from me. I had a used mattress from the club on the floor. Used bedsheets. Even my curtains had been destroyed. He wanted me to have nothing. His hatred for me had bled from his pores.
I tried not to think about it. My life was easier thatway.
Whenever he was away on club runs, those were the days and weeksI was free. I was able to clean my room, remove the mold that accumulated in the corners. Use that time to go grocery shopping to fill the fridge and freezer. Hang out with Cassie without fear of being interrupted by our father’s wrath. Was that the life Ivan offered me? To finally live without fear?
Tears filled my eyes and I was way too afraid to hope. Some soldier’s mistake had meant my life had changed for the better.
“There’s a cell phone in my luggage. I didn’t ask for it. Rage gave it to me.” I took a deep breath. He wanted me to be able to reach him at all times.”
“And you’re telling me this why?”
“I don’t want it. I don’t know what you need me to do, but I will be loyal to you, Ivan Volkov. I will always put you, my husband, and the Volkov Bratva first.”
Ivan nodded his head. “That’s the first step. I will be taking your cell phone.”
I nodded.
“Ive’s not a difficult man to handle, Charlotte. He understands you more than you realize, and if you give him a chance, he’ll prove it time and time again.” Ivan got to his feet. “Eat something. Being a married woman now, you’re going to need your strength.”
He left me alone and I stared down at the plate of food. There was so much here. I’d gone without food, starved because it had been my father’s wish at the time. Picking up a slice of toast, I took a bite.
That fucking bastard was not going to control me for another second. He’d made me trash, but no more.
I took another bite, thenanother.
I’m no longer trash.
I am Charlotte Yahontov.