A Piece of Your Heart

The days that followed were a blur.

Nathan was happy that I had decided to go through with it, even though I had made my decision in a short amount of time. But to be honest, I had been thinking about it for a while. About having a transactional relationship with him.

I liked Nathan as a person, but the fact remained that I didn’t know that much about him. Of course, I knew about some of his hobbies, his interests, things like that, but it was just on a surface level. They were things that he just wanted me to see and know. They were selective, to be precise.

Even though he needed a listening ear in this ‘friendship’, I was only obligated to listen. I didn’t have to do anything or give him advice. I just had to be there for him, nothing more.

Even if I wasn’t a confidant to anyone but my own family, even if I was used to being alone, even if I didn’t want to hear any sentimental talk, I was still obligated to be his friend. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t in the mood or if I was bored of being with him. I had to be there. I had to listen.

So if he wanted to hang out, if he wanted me to make time for him, if he wanted me to be with him at social events, I had to do them as long as he was paying me. That was the meaning of him literally buying my time.

Of course, since this was not a sugar daddy/sugar baby kind of contract, Nathan made sure that the terms did not include any intimate acts. He wasn’t allowed to engage in romantic or sexual acts with me without my consent, and he wasn’t allowed to order me to do those things with him.

The emphasis was on ‘consent’, so as long as I agreed, there was no problem. I didn’t mind too much, because one, I would never let myself be forced to do something I didn’t want to do, and two, I was aware that there were gray areas involved.

For example, if he needed comforting and it was up to me, I might hold his hand or hug him for reassurance. If it came to that, there was no problem. I used to do that all the time with my siblings and friends. There was no need to make a big deal out of something so trivial.

“You should also quit some of your part-time jobs, Julia,” Nathan had suggested to me after we agreed on the contract and put down our signatures. “I know that they’ve been wearing you out.”

I frowned. I wasn’t sure if I should make that big of a step yet. “But…”

“I remember you once mentioned that you wanted to save for your family’s hospital bills, your siblings’ education, and also for you to go back to college, right?” Nathan’s voice was kind and free of mockery and prejudice. “I understand that, which is why I suggested this in the first place. I’ll make sure you’re well compensated, okay?”

Later on, he asked me for my bank details, and then he promptly transferred a large amount of money to my account.

“This… This…” I was stunned as I stared at the message I had just received from the bank. It was three times more than I made in a week working all my jobs!

“This is an advance for this week,” he explained. “I know you have bills to pay before the end of the month, so I’m sending this to you, and also to assure you that you can quit some of your part-time jobs. I’m also sending you a digital copy of the contract later, okay?”

Needless to say, that was more than enough to convince me.

I quit everything after that. But I decided to keep my job at the bar, where I would sing on the weekends, and Nathan agreed.

“I’d still go there just to hear you sing,” he said, and it made my heart soften.

It was a compliment that artists and creators always loved to hear.

So for the past week, I had been working on the concept art that Nathan asked me for. Rather, what he commissioned me for.

It was all still so new to me that I would be doing what I loved instead of constantly running errands, handling client orders, and dealing with rude customers. I even thought it would take me a long, long time to finally indulge in my hobby and passion for something. I even thought that singing at the bar on weekends would be enough for me.

It turned out that I was slowly eroding day by day until I met Nathan for the first time that night.

The way we met was unorthodox and a little strange, but I found that I never regretted it. Tom and Ben made me distrust men, but Nathan made me feel like I should give guys a second chance. I didn’t have to love him, and I didn’t have any growing feelings for him. But was a step forward for me, and I appreciated that he was the one who made me feel that way.

Nathan and I would call each other from time to time while I worked. I didn’t have the money to buy a digital drawing tablet, but I did have some of my art supplies and sketch paper. Since I was working on rough sketches, I only needed my pencil.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

“You said you wanted a floating kingdom in the seas?” I asked as I put him on speakerphone while I sketched.

“Yeah,” he responded. “What do you think about having skyscrapers there and slides as roads?”

I paused for a moment. “…Slides?”

“Wouldn’t it be fun to slide down from your house?”

“But how would they get back up?”

“You have a point…”

I shook my head fondly.

He had an overactive imagination, but he usually didn’t pay attention to logic and plausibility. Then again, as he said, this was just the bare bones of the project. Rough drafts existed so that they could be reworked over and over again to the client’s liking.

This went on for seven days, with us communicating back and forth. I must admit it was a stimulating experience. It was my first time doing this kind of commissioned work, but Nathan made it so comfortable that I didn’t feel nervous or pressured at all.

When the weekend arrived, I was at the bar singing again, and like before, I saw Nathan in the audience listening to my voice. At first, I thought he was just being polite, that maybe I was just deluding myself.

But as time went by, I realized that his compliments were sincere.

He was really proving to me that he liked my voice and my drawings.

“I’m really pleased with what you did to the city,” Nathan said as I slipped into the seat beside him after my performance. “Your rough drafts were amazing! You’re really cut out for this, Julia.”

The compliment made me blush. “Thank you,” I said softly. “I wasn’t sure if you would like it.”

“Of course I would like it,” he insisted. “You paid attention to the details that I gave you and incorporated them into the drawings perfectly.”

I was getting a little shy with the praise he kept giving me, so I decided to change the subject.

At that moment, I watched him for a while. Nathan was really handsome, and the glasses he usually wore gave him an elegant, scholarly look. Even when he was dressed casually, he was still attractive.

But now I could see that there were tired lines on his face that weren’t there before. His eyes seemed dimmer than usual, and I think he also forgot to comb his hair before coming here.

“Have you been sleeping well?” I asked in concern. “You look tired.”