CHAPTER 37: A LEAP
The 9th of June. Two weeks after the death of Ryan. Emma stood in-front of the open window releasing her hand out to the cold breeze that brushed her tender skin. She shut her eyes trying to derive comfort from the overbearing heat that was burning her up from the inside that morning. It would have been Ryan’s birthday today. He would have turned three today. Emma quickly cleaned the tears streaming down her cheeks with her left palm. She must be strong. She said. She had vowed to be strong even though the last two weeks had been the most difficult stage of her life. Her days became darker and she blamed fate for being unfair. She was dealing with the fact that she had been cheated by a husband and death snatched her son afterwards. It was almost as if hell was unleashed on her.
As she stood by the open window, she imagined how Ryan would look in the next seven years, who would have been a big kid? Would he had been the chubby lively kid she knew? She thought. Would his dark hair still be long? She would have braided it. She always wanted to that. He would have been in Pre_School now and she would have introduced him to the junior library and made him fall in love with literature. Oh how well she has planned for her boy. It’s quite tragic. Death came and took him away or rather Gideon let it happen. She would have flew away with her Ryan the next day and he wouldn’t have died. Why did she allow Gideon to spend the day with Ryan? She wondered. If only she knew, She would have showed up to pick him that day instead. She lamented.
She went to her bed and laid on it. Her face on the bed. When Ryan died, she felt as if her entire life had crumbled. If there was one good thing about her damned marriage to Gideon, it was Ryan and when he died, she felt worthless ;she couldn’t protect her child she kept saying and wailing at his funeral. Her anger towards Gideon metamorphosed to a hatred and she will make him pay. She always wanted to make him pay for all the hell he made her go through. Wherever Ryan was, she’s sure he is resting but she wished he was resting in her arms even though he would have been bigger now. Sometimes she wished death took her instead.
Gideon sat at his dining table holding the portrait of Ryan. Ryan was two then and was smiling from ear to ear in the picture. Throughout the last two weeks years, Gideon kept blaming himself for the death of his son. ‘I am an irresponsible father. ‘ he would say. He blamed himself for being carless. It was his fault Ryan died he always thought. He got up, holding the portrait very tight and made his way to his bedroom. His breakfast was untouched. Sometimes, Frankie the chef he hired felt utterly useless because Gideon barely ate and would prefer to drown himself in the ocean of liquor. Frankie shook his head from left to right feeling sorry for the thinly built Gideon who walked his way to his room.
Gideon’s business was barely doing well. He lost a lot of clients and some of his board of directors resigned because the revenue the clubs were generating were very low. Gideon barely came to work and when he did, he hardly stays long. However, he had managed to keep his business above trouble waters but his progress was slow and the business is obviously struggling to stay put. He came to work when depression was overshadowing him. There were times Gideon would black out during business meetings and Stare blankly at the wall during conferences. He stuttered a-lot now and barely spoke. Despite his friends encouragements and counsel, Gideon was still a shadow of himself. He tries to look practically fine during the day even when he looked thinner but would cry his heart out at night. He missed Ryan. He missed Emma more.
Throughout the last two weeks, he wasn’t in touch with Emma. He felt guilty for all that happened and he came to the conclusion that his absence from her life might grant her succor. He loves her so much that if staying away from him meant she will be happy, he was ready to let go. Sometimes, he wished she was beside him. He wished she listened to him and allowed him explained everything but it doesn’t really matter now. He has to work hard and prevent his business from crumbling for it is the only thing he could term dear. If they were together, Ryan’s death would have been a bit bearable for they would comfort each other he always thought.
It was clear that Judy always wanted Gideon but Ryans death came as a shock to her. She sometimes felt guilty but will console herself with the fact that she didn’t kill the child after all. She always thought Gideon will come to her since he was broken and with Emma out of the picture, she was sure that her spot was secured but her fantasy didn’t come true. Gideon drifted further from her and since he barely showed up in the office they rarely met or spoke. When she visits his home, he would send her out or shut himself inside till she gets tired and leaves in frustration. All her efforts proved abortive. “Who yearns over a woman that leaves him at such a time of need? ” Judy will complain to Mel. Gideon has proven to be a hard nut to crack she always thought.
Gideon’s mood seem to lighten up lately and he came to the office more often than usual. Judy is convinced that he was beginning to crack out of his shell and her hopes are becoming higher. Now that he was concentrating more on the business and attending meetings and conferences, she was sure the old Gideon will be back in no time. She can’t wait to tame him and make her hers. This time, for good.Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.